Exquisite Tea Indeed Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 Hey At the begining I would like to say that english isn't my first language so I hope it'll be readable. So here I am at age of 20, indentyfing as asexual It took me long time to realise what my sexuality is, because I had pretty high libido during my adolesence and I was abusing masturbation and pornography. But then I realised that I don't actually want to have partnered sex. I find people atractive, I don't really know what sexual atraction means (I think the definition is - it's like when you look at someone and think they would be good for sex or you woud like to have sex with them, so correct me if I'm wrong) and I think that naked people look pretty, but them being naked doesn't mean I want to have sex with them. That being said I'm not repulsed by sex. As far as my romantic oriention goes, I'm not sure about it, since I never was in a relationship. All of my crushes were female, but I think I could fall for a guy, I rarely crush on someone and ussually I have to know them for some time to crush on them (from one month to half of the year). I guess I'll just stick with saying Im not aro :") Do you think It's fine for me to identify as ace? Link to post Share on other sites
Exquisite Tea Indeed Posted August 12, 2018 Author Share Posted August 12, 2018 Ugh... I just realised I haven't completed the name of this topic, can I change it somehow? Or do I have to live with this cringe :") Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted August 12, 2018 Share Posted August 12, 2018 Welcome! Your English is better than mine, and I’m from England This might help you understand the types of attraction better. https://www.deviantart.com/secondlina/art/Sketchcomic-types-of-Attraction-298804729 As for the romantic orientation, I would suggest that you look into something like Demiromantic, and maybe a label like heteroflexible until you know for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 Welcome to AVEN! I think it's fine for you to identify as Ace. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 Sexual attraction is the desire to have partnered sex in certain situations, not just looking at someone and wanting to bang them (that idea is based on male teenagers/young men). So yeah if you don't wanna do that you're possibly ace. Welcome to AVEN Link to post Share on other sites
Exquisite Tea Indeed Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 20 hours ago, Lichley said: Your English is better than mine, and I’m from England Thanks! That's nice to hear 20 hours ago, Lichley said: As for the romantic orientation, I would suggest that you look into something like Demiromantic, and maybe a label like heteroflexible until you know for sure. Ok. Then I'll go with demiromantic. Tbh I had to google what heteroflexible means I think it's a good label for now Link to post Share on other sites
Exquisite Tea Indeed Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 18 hours ago, MichaelTannock said: Welcome to AVEN! I think it's fine for you to identify as Ace. Hi, this cake looks delicious Link to post Share on other sites
Exquisite Tea Indeed Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 2 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said: Sexual attraction is the desire to have partnered sex in certain situations, not just looking at someone and wanting to bang them (that idea is based on male teenagers/young men). So yeah if you don't wanna do that you're possibly ace. Thanks for correcting me then Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 1 hour ago, Exquisite Tea Indeed said: Thanks! That's nice to hear Ok. Then I'll go with demiromantic. Tbh I had to google what heteroflexible means I think it's a good label for now Honestly, I had to google the definitions of a lot of things. I even found a long list for the really complex ones, but usually if you ask you can get an explanation Link to post Share on other sites
Exquisite Tea Indeed Posted August 18, 2018 Author Share Posted August 18, 2018 Sorry for the lag, but I was busy studying for exam and working in my garden On 8/13/2018 at 11:05 PM, Lichley said: usually if you ask you can get an explanation So I'm going to ask about some things On 8/13/2018 at 12:59 AM, Lichley said: This might help you understand the types of attraction better. Honestly I don't understand how to distinguish sexual attraction from sensual. I mean sex is basically touching, but just with certain specified parts of ones body. So hypothetically one could feel sensual attraction to touch another person and they could express it by having sex with them. How would they know if the act is driven by being sexually attraction or just sensual one. I mean hypothetically for an ace, who isn't sexually repulsed, sex wouldn't mean much more from hugging since they don't have sexual desire or attraction, which wouldn't be the case for a sexual person since sex means something special for them. On 8/13/2018 at 7:48 PM, Anthracite_Impreza said: So yeah if you don't wanna do that you're possibly ace. I don't like saying that "I don't want to". It's more as if I don't have inner need for sex, like I would be fine if I didn't have sex for the rest of my life and I wouldn't feel like anything is missing from it. I view sexual desire and attraction in strictly biological way, as if it's a "programme" in a brain that makes the species reproduce, so it doesn't die out, but somehow it isn't present in me (and other people who chose to identify as asexual) Sorry if my thought process is abstract 😐, but recently I've read a s-f novel, which set me in the out of the box mood Link to post Share on other sites
Exquisite Tea Indeed Posted August 18, 2018 Author Share Posted August 18, 2018 1 hour ago, Exquisite Tea Indeed said: as if it's a "programme" in a brain that makes the species reproduce, so it doesn't die out, but somehow it isn't present in me (and other people who chose to identify as asexual) Now that I read it it sounds kinda bad I didn't mean it as if we're broken or something (also I know reproduction wouldn't be the case in some other sexual orientation). It's just I cant stop looking at people and compare their behaviour to one of the animal,even though we're on whole different levels. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 16 hours ago, Exquisite Tea Indeed said: Honestly I don't understand how to distinguish sexual attraction from sensual. Sexual attraction is specifically attraction towards people sexually, whereas sensual attraction is more like the urge to hug someone or hold hands than anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
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