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Hey (and two questions)


NVV

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Hello there.

 

I'm a cisgender (hope I use that term right) girl, who think that she might be asexual or might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum. I really want to find out a few things and I hope that you may help me :). 

1. First thing first. Could someone explain to me what the different pronouns are for? I do not want to offend anybody, although I might accidentally mess up. I apologize in advance. English is not my first language, so if somebody could explain this to me, it would be a huge favor. 

2. About asexuality. I'm very, very interested in science (chemistry, biology, and medicine in special). I have never question that I, at some point, would fell sexually attracted to someone. I never thought, and I still don't, think that other people are weird because they feel sexually attracted to others. I almost understood it, mostly on a level that was like this: oh, this chemical reacts with this chemical and the brain react to it with endorphins, that makes us happy, therefore; people like sex, because it gives them an endorphin rush. As you may have spotted I understand sex in a very scientific way, but I do not think it is weird, which seems to be a common indication of being asexual.  

I just thought that I was a late bloomer, or that it was because of my Aspergers Syndrome (I use the term aspie, hope I do not offend anyone). But now I am almost 18 and I still do not feel sexually attracted to anybody. I think I experience romantic attraction though.   

Do you think I may be on the asexual spectrum or am I just aspie and confused?

Greetings, and have a good morning, afternoon, or night, depends on where in the globe you are.  

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Welcome! 

I’m no expert, but I’ll give it a shot :) 

 

1. Pronouns are a type of substitute for someone’s name in a conversation to speed up said conversation. They typically denote the gender of the person being spoken of in conversation. It is generally used as a means of making it clearer which person is being spoken of when it is used.

Some people can get uncomfortable when a certain pronoun is used because it doesn’t match up with how they see themselves, and this can cause them distress. So to reduce stress on these people we try to use preferred pronouns. Some people are rude and don’t do this, which is quite often a means of belittling that person’s identity. 

The most common pronouns are He/She/They, but some people chose to the more obscure Xie/Zie pronouns instead.

 

2. It’s not the chemicals, as many asexuals have had hormone checks and had completely normal levels. Asexuality, and sexuality in general is really complicated. Many sexual shaven commented on how it is more about the emotional bond between people over shared pleasure, but that experience varies in accounts. Simply put, it’s different for everyone so it’s hard to put a label on why this happens. Biologically, Asexuality could be a means of population control, or it could be another form of mutation in the Fruitless gene. Whatever the case, it’s more important to focus on accepting those with Asexuality, before we worry about how it comes to be. 

 

chocolate-gran-marnier.jpg

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Anthracite_Impreza

1. Lichley gave a good answer to this one, but I'll give a personal example. I use they/them pronouns because I am agender, literally 'without gender'. While I can cope with gendered pronouns (I have to, people assume I'm female), neutral pronouns fit me much better. It's like having a nice soft shirt as opposed to a rough one - they both do the same job but one is much more pleasant to wear.

2. Hello fellow autist! I know many autistic people yet I only know one other asexual autistic. It's a stereotype but autistic people are rarely ace.

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Thank you all very much for the grammar! Hope I don't mess up. 

Just to make sure: if I wanted to say that @Anthracite_Impreza have brown hair (just as an example, I don't know if you have brown hair), I would say that THEY have brown hair, even though I referred to you as a single person, right? 

Oh and thank you for all the cake! 

I have read more about asexuality and it all seems to fit on me, except that I have never thought that sex is weird, just like @Lichley said! 

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1 hour ago, NVV said:

Hope I don't mess up. 

I've found that, if it's an honest mistake in person, it's bad but forgivable if you immediately catch yourself and apologize. However, online when most of us have pronouns listed by our names, messing up is really hard to do. It can be difficult at first, especially in person, but eventually checking someone's pronouns will become a habit. 

 

Yes, you used that correctly. "They" can describe one person or a group of people, and it's still correct English. You can usually tell who you're talking about through context. 

 

You mentioned that you have Aspergers, and I thought you might find this link helpful. Welcome to AVEN, and help yourself to cake and community! :cake::cake::cake:

 

 

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Anthracite_Impreza
1 hour ago, NVV said:

Just to make sure: if I wanted to say that @Anthracite_Impreza have brown hair (just as an example, I don't know if you have brown hair), I would say that THEY have brown hair, even though I referred to you as a single person, right

That is correct, and oddly enough I do have brown hair ;)

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