BreanneW

Telling your Doctor??

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BreanneW

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I've never told any doctor's in the past about my asexuality due to fear of them thinking something is wrong with me. But should I? What if something is wrong with me and it's never been found out because I haven't opened up about having no sex drive? Or maybe there is nothing wrong with me and then I'm just scrutinized for no reason. I don't know. Has anyone else had experiences of telling their doctors? How did it go? This is just a new general doctor that I'm going to see, I'm looking to get my anxiety meds adjusted and thought maybe this is something I should bring up??

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The Angel of Eternity

I've had none of these experiences, but I'd say not to worry about your asexuality, especially if it makes life easier for you.

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Celyn

The only time I would tell a doctor about my asexuality was if the appointment was related to a reproductive system issue. 

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Tercy

I can't see any harm in bringing it up? The doctor might explore some ideas around abuse, hormones, side effects of medication and such - and I guess it would then be for you to decide if you want to take any of that further.

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fiѕh

I've had very good experiences telling my GP of all sorts of stuff. My touchy subject wasn't asexuality, but there were a bunch of sexuality related things of that I didn't know if they're a case for a doctor. Of course she's not my friend who will pat my back and make me feel valid, she's my doctor. But she's done a great job asking the right questions and providing some helpful insight.


I think of it like this: They'll sound out how you're doing health-wise because they're a physician. They don't think something is wrong with you, they're there to figure out if something is wrong with you. So if they ask you a few medical questions about something that ends up being perfectly fine and normal - good, they're doing their job. They're supposed to assume it might be a medical problem. Maybe try to see it as gathering information about yourself, rather than being scrutinized (possibly for no reason). The person providing the information sees so many different people for so many different reasons every day, they'll be accordingly professional and objective about it. 

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ryn2

I guess the answer is... it depends?

 

If your asexuality is causing you distress - you’re worried that it might be a symptom of something rather than just how you are, e.g. - then discussing that with your doctor might well make sense.

 

Otherwise, the only thing that’s really relevant is whether or not you are sexually active presently (as that changes your risk factors for a variety of other things).  The  “why” behind it is your business.

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secrethamster
On 6/7/2018 at 8:37 PM, secrethamster said:

Going to the doctor and being asked all the questions.

 

Dr: "Do you regularly drink alcohol?"

Me: "No."

Dr: "Do you take any non-medication drugs?"

Me: "No."

Dr: "Do you play with toys?" (actually asked this, verbatim)

Me: *blank stare, because why should she care if I still play with my legos?*

Dr: "...For masturbation."

Me: "Oh. No."

Dr: *slightly doubtful look* "Are you sexually active?"

Me: "No."

Dr: *Proceeds to recommend vaccines against STI's or whatever, because I "probably will be soon."

Me: "No thanks. I'm not worried."

Dr: *pauses while taking notes* "....you're not attracted to boys?"

Me: "Or anyone."

Dr: *looks away and never asks me about sex/masturbation again in future visits*

 

Mini ace victory!

^This is how it happened for me :)

 

I would only bring it up if you are worried, or if it comes up. They don't need to know, unless you feel it could be a problem and you want them to. You could just be asexual for no "medical abnormality" reason.

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pureerie

I haven't talked about it with my doctor before because I feel like I don't need to. If any issue every arises that I need to mention it or they ask me directly about then I probably will.

However, it does get a little awkward for me because every time I go for a checkup because I always get asked....

 

Doctor: "When is the last time you were sexually active?" (As if to assume that I had to be).

Me: Never.

Doctor: *pauses* "Are you on birth control?"

Me: No

Doctor: "When you become sexually active, be careful! You might get pregnant! (or something like that).

Me: I don't plan on to lol

Doctor: "When you start having sex, remember about this test/shot that you will need!"

 

The conversation always goes something like that. I know she is trying to be helpful but still. It is like she is waiting for the day I will be sexually active. I am just always thinking in my head "Never if I am lucky! lol"

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