Flump222

Fantasies while masturbating?

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Flump222

So, I was thinking about this for a little while, and I just wanted to ask a quick question on it. I masturbate myself, though I often don't have any sort of fantasies. However, I did recently and was confused as to whether it would make me not asexual after all.

 

TMI WARNING BELOW:

 

 

 

 

Anyway, so when I was doing it, I had a sort of fantasy. As I approached the end, it happened. I was involved with it, though there wasn't any specific person there. Just me and an anonymous figure, I guess. This left me very confused, as this one just sort of happened and was natural. It didn't feel weird or foreign at the time. Now I'm just really confused as to this points to me not actually being asexual. I'll provide a little context below, if that makes any difference, though I'll put it in the spoiler box so it doesn't take up a whole ton of space.

Spoiler

As for some context as to how I feel, when it comes to relationships, my two crushes were purely romantic, and all I desired was the emotional aspect. Sex really isn't an aspect I want in a relationship, and in my vision of a perfect relationship sex is absent. I can recall thinking why people would ruin a perfectly good relationship with sex. When it comes to other things though, I do have a libido, and masturbate, though I know that it doesn't really matter all that much. I usually only do it because I'm bored. If I ever use visuals I don't concentrate on who's doing what, but rather what's being done. It's more of the act than anything else (which I think is what my fantasy was mainly about, but I'm still confused). There's also this weird feeling. I can get this feeling out of nowhere, where my heart rate increases and I can sometimes get this weird tingling "down there" (though it's definitely not anywhere close to full arousal, if it's arousal at all). This can occur from physical proximity or looking at someone (often with people I guess I'd find aesthetically attractive, though I don't actively think of them as such). My thoughts don't really line up with it, and I'm usually just thinking about the fact that I'm feeling something. It's a little jarring, I guess. It also goes away very quickly. If it makes any difference though, I am in my mid teens and thus hormones may pay a part.

 

 When I was younger, I used to get that same feeling, albeit stronger, when looking at people, but at it's strongest I'm pretty sure there was a clear trigger. Anyway, I'm pretty sure the trigger was bra straps for me (oof this is kinda embarrassing), and that's when it would be at it's strongest. I would just get this urge to just kinda stare. If I'm being honest I'm not sure what I was thinking, though it was probably just on the bra straps. On top of that, I was also masturbating at this age, and I remember it feeling better when I was in a room with a lot of people I didn't know around my age, but I don't remember wanting to talk with any of them or wanting sex with them or anything, just that it would feel better than usual when I "did the thing" afterward. Though, I haven't felt a feeling that strong in a long time, and the thing with bra straps is completely gone. And I was pretty much smack dab in the middle of puberty there so hormones may have been a larger influence.

Thoughts? (Also sorry I'm posting so much, this is just kinda confusing to me right now) (Also I just remembered that I forgot to say that I really do want a label. Otherwise I wouldn't be thinking about this so much, but life without a label for me is an unspeakable eldritch horror of uncertainty of uncontrollability. I need labels in my life) 

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stumatoo

Dont worry about it so much. We are all different, all individual. Some of us experience no sexual attraction at all, some of us get aroused by others but have no desire to have sex, some identify as this and some as that. Let yourself be who you are and as you are,we are all unique. I never think its healthy to try to label ourselves too much...

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Janus DarkFox

I find it works best without no thought, with occasion of triggering arousal through fetish.

 

Thoughts on masturbation if fine and completely normal and little to nothing do with sexual orientation on it's own.

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Flump222
3 hours ago, Janus DarkFox said:

I find it works best without no thought, with occasion of triggering arousal through fetish.

 

Thoughts on masturbation if fine and completely normal and little to nothing do with sexual orientation on it's own.

So then even with this I still seem ace?

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Fluffy Femme Guy
6 hours ago, Flump222 said:

So then even with this I still seem ace?

Yes.

I sometimes masturbate, while sexually fantasizing, but I know I wouldn't actually want anything to do with that in the real world.

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ryn2

It’s not uncommon for straight folks to have same-sex dreams and fantasies, and that doesn’t make them bi... so I’m not sure why this would make you less ace.

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