mreid

[TMI] Some findings about masturbation

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mreid

I have found out a few interesting things by accident.

 

On the days just before my period, there's supposed to be an increase in sex drive, but I feel no sex drive. Instead I just feel angry and get a relief out of exercising, walking around or showering in cold water. During those days sometimes I also can't sleep because of all the pent-up energy. I still don't feel like masturbating, but I found out that if I did it helps me with the insomnia and it releases some of that pent-up energy.

 

Then if I masturbate, the next day I still feel no sex-drive nor any need to masturbate, but when I go to bed again, at around the same time, I feel sometimes a urge to masturbate. It's not very strong and if I ignore it it disappears.

 

But if I don't masturbate for about 2 days in a row, that urge completely disappears again and I go back to "normal".

 

It's like my body doesn't know my genitals are there and can be used to release that energy and for other purposes, which is even stranger because when i use them it works fine. And if I do it, it's like I can teach or condition my brain to want it or something, but if I stop it just forgets about it.

 

Porn or anything erotic seems to have no effect on it. I have been reading erotic material and watching porn late at night before going to bed (out of research) and then I'd go to bed right after and I'd get no urges, or insomnia, or wet dreams or anything out of the ordinary.

 

Romantic things seem to have no effect either. Like, the other day I had watched this gay romance that I really liked and even made me blush sometimes, and hours later I went to bed, but still no effect.

 

Also I found out that apparently many people find out about masturbation on their own at a young age, but i didn't even know what it was until I was 15, because I looked it up on the internet. Before that I had always touched my genitals as part of personal hygiene or just out of curiosity, but never actually felt anything different and didn't even know I was supposed to feel anything different until I actually tried it at 16. As a kid I had never even rubbed myself against anything like other people claim to have done.

 

When I masturbate I think about nothing at all and just concentrate or I think about casual things I'd normally think about. I have tried to think about sexual things or about people I found attractive, but that only succeeds in distracting me. Sometimes when I do that it may even have the opposite effect, and it's like I feel the blood flowing elsewhere or something of that makes sense.

 

I think there's a circuit missing in my brain or something. Anyone relates to this?

 

[EDIT]

I forgot to add earlier, but I have this really strange thing where sometimes I get a mild headache and my eyes hurt after I masturbate. It used to happen more when I started doing it, now still happens occasionally. It's not very intense and goes away after 10-15 minutes, but it's still pretty weird.

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LadyOracle

I masturbate to sleep better and usually focus on the physical sensation but not much else. Or on the sensation I felt during sex with someone else but not really focusing on the person. 

 

In the past I sometimes read on Literotica or watch videos, but I focus on the act itself and usually skip the intro. For some reason I enjoy watching sex, but mainly because it helps me think about how it feels, not because I find the people attractive or anything. I prefer close-ups to 'romantic' scenes for masturbation. 

 

I certainly can enjoy romance, but that's not what I'm looking for right before bed. I just want to relax. 

 

I'm curious if anyone recognises this, I don't really have pleasant orgasms, it's just that at some point the tension is gone. I have the physical 'symptoms' but feel no euphoria or anything (I've only experienced that twice in my whole life, with other people...). Just release and then roll over and fall asleep.

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mreid
2 hours ago, LadyOracle said:

I'm curious if anyone recognises this, I don't really have pleasant orgasms, it's just that at some point the tension is gone. I have the physical 'symptoms' but feel no euphoria or anything (I've only experienced that twice in my whole life, with other people...). Just release and then roll over and fall asleep.

You don't experience the muscles contracting or anything?

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LadyOracle
2 minutes ago, mreid said:

You don't experience the muscles contracting or anything?

I do. It just doesn't feel pleasant. 

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mreid
2 hours ago, LadyOracle said:

I do. It just doesn't feel pleasant. 

How's that?

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LadyOracle
6 minutes ago, mreid said:

How's that?

What do you mean? (Language barrier, sorry.) 

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mreid
2 hours ago, LadyOracle said:

What do you mean? (Language barrier, sorry.) 

I asked what you meant when you said you felt the physical part, but not the "pleasurable" part, but I think that in the meantime I understood it.

 

One time I did an experiment where I did it but instead of concentrating I just focused on a dot on the wall and tried to detach my mind from my body or something to see what would happen. The physical part worked normally, but it wasn't... satisfying? I think that's what you meant.

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LadyOracle

Yes, exactly that. 

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mreid
2 hours ago, LadyOracle said:

Yes, exactly that. 

And you've only experienced the pleasurable part twice in your life? Have you tried making your mind go completely blank or something when you do it?

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LadyOracle
6 minutes ago, mreid said:

And you've only experienced the pleasurable part twice in your life? Have you tried making your mind go completely blank or something when you do it?

No, often it's somewhere between mildly interesting and nice, and sometimes I don't feel much at all, and sometimes it hurts like painful muscles. Sometimes I just can't.

 

The two times it was like what they write in the magazines was with others and they really took their time and knew what they were doing. One was clitoral and the other vaginal, which was completely different and more of a total body experience. 

 

Not being able to relax is part of the problem, as is fatigue, and pain in my fingers lol. But I just don't really want or miss it, I suppose. 

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mreid

@LadyOracle How long does it normally take you, if you don't mind me asking?

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CBC

There isn't really a right or a wrong way to feel about or engage in masturbation, or at least not in terms of anything you're mentioning. There are definitely many people similar to you, sexual and asexual alike. You're normal.

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mreid
2 hours ago, CBC said:

There isn't really a right or a wrong way to feel about or engage in masturbation, or at least not in terms of anything you're mentioning. There are definitely many people similar to you, sexual and asexual alike. You're normal.

I never said there was a right or wrong way about it. I just know it's different for different people, which is why I wonder about it.

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LadyOracle

@mreid Varies wildly. The before bedtime get it over with thing is usually a few minutes. 

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CBC

Likewise, I wasn't putting words in your mouth and directly saying that you did believe there was a right or wrong way. Just making a point, since you referenced how you thought other teens were and were wondering if there's something missing in your brain.

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mreid
2 hours ago, CBC said:

Likewise, I wasn't putting words in your mouth and directly saying that you did believe there was a right or wrong way. Just making a point, since you referenced how you thought other teens were and were wondering if there's something missing in your brain.

You implied that I did.

 

I have heard from other people and read that most people experience these things from a young age, I didn't, which led me to conclude that I deviate from the norm in that sense.

I also know, from experience, that most people's experiences with sexuality are different from mine, which also led me to conclude that I deviate from the norm.

All put together, I conclude that I deviate from the norm in this topic, and I put forward those examples to make my point, and added that maybe I am "missing a circuit" in the sense that I seem to be missing some sort of instict of inclination that other people don't, which is supported by the examples I gave.

 

So in this topic I am not "normal". I made no statements as to whether "normal" is right or wrong, I just see normal as the common and what I have as uncommon.

 

I don't see what your point is.

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CBC

Ok.

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LadyOracle

Personally I also had the impression you felt like a little uncomfortable with the difference in experience because of your choice of words. You said 'supposed to' and 'strange' and wrote you thought there might be a circuit missing in your brain. To me that sounded negative, maybe CBC had the same idea. I'm glad to hear that's not what you meant, though. 

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CBC

Indeed. A lot of people come to AVEN, asexuals and sexuals alike, worried that they're broken or defective or abnormal because they don't experience some aspect of their own sexuality in a way that's similar to what they commonly see depicted, or what others close to them have described. In the vast majority of cases, they're far from alone and well within the realm of normal human sexuality. That was my only point, based on concern that maybe you felt badly or very alienated.

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mreid

@LadyOracle @CBC I see, I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression. I'm not ashamed of it at all, it's just sometimes I joke about it a bit, because it's so uncommon.

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Janus DarkFox

I almost get the same sequence of arousal, totally normal I find, if usually about twice a week with feminine pleasure as a male.  Longer if having sex with the SO.

 

There's really no sexual urge before, during or after.  Though also likely there's some gender dissonance with the genitals as well.

 

Also as a migraineur, it's a double edge sword if the pain is associated with the arousal and/or the possibllity of making a current one better or worse.

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mreid
2 hours ago, Janus DarkFox said:

I almost get the same sequence of arousal, totally normal I find, if usually about twice a week with feminine pleasure as a male.

What does that mean?

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Janus DarkFox

a similar arousal where the arousal fluctuates, normal for most people, and I can simulate a different masturbation behaviour to find a feminine pleasure.

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