Conclavi

A bit confused

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Conclavi

So let me start out by saying that I definitely feel romantic attraction to the opposite sex, but I am very unsure if i feel sexual attraction. I cannot relate to my heterosexual friends when they say that a specific person is hot, as I don't find the physical features of others sexually arousing mentally or physically. This is why I have been labeling myself as asexual for quite a bit. I do watch porn and do masturbate as I become aroused from said content. Which I can understand as I know I have an average to high libido. But there is one issue ive encountered about myself. I currently have a crush on someone but dont find them physically "hot" but more in a sense of cute/adorable in a romantic way. While I dont find them arousing purely based on physical characteristics, I can imagine enjoying sexual acts with that person in the right situation for emotional reasons. Would that be considered sexual attraction? I dont really think that initiating sexual acts on my accord with them would be something I naturally gravitate to, but if the person was interested I dont think id have any problem enjoying it, especially for the emotional reasons/connections. I know of the term sexually positive, is that what this would be? Is sexual attraction purely based on finding someone "hot" physically, or can emotional attachments related to physical intimacy be connected to sexual attraction as well?

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viennaguy94

Your assumptions seem to be logical. You might be sexually positive, and you might also be demisexual, if your sexual attraction is connected to the emotional attachment. The fact that you enjoy porn but you aren't attracted to specific people is indeed a bit confusing. Maybe you are asexual, or maybe you are something in between. It might confuse your crush as well in case you are planning to tell them about it, or maybe it won't matter at all. In any case, I suggest just experimenting and finding out what you like or don't like :)

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TheAP

I think if you actively desired sexual interaction with them for emotional reasons, it would be considered sexual attraction, but if you just were okay having sex with them if they wanted, it wouldn't. My advice is to give it time and see how you feel about sexual interactions when you have the opportunity to engage in them.

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AmaechiJones

You can be sexually attracted to emotional characteristics. I would say you are sexual.

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Anthracite_Impreza

Sexual attraction is not always (or even mostly) physical; unless you're just after a one night stand there's always going to be an emotional aspect. Having sex for emotional reasons is still definitely sexual behaviour.

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