TeaGee

I wish I had a pamplet

Recommended Posts

TeaGee

I came out to my mom today. It wasn't pretty and it didn't go the smoothest, but it was real in it's awkwardness and tension. I thought I fully prepared myself for the possibility of her not understanding  but I don't think that is something you can really prepare for.  Her face kind of shut down and I could see her get more and more uncomfortable the more I talked. Of course, there were the typical questions: "How do you know?" "Are you sure that is something you can decide at your age?, etc". There was talk of therapy but I shut that down by telling her there was nothing "wrong" with me or what I feel.  The therapist comment did feel like a gut punch, though I know that was not her intention. I think she understood how that comment hurt because she did kind of back off after that and seemed to be a bit more open minded, though therapy came up a few more times. I explained my thoughts and feelings on relationships, sex, romance, etc.  She still struggled to understand it all but did ask questions which I think was her making an attempt to listen and understand. I think she is worried about me being alone and unhappy but I promised her that me being Ace/Grey Ace does not mean I cannot have a meaningful relationship if I so desired it.  Obviously, there are some things to work out but that is true of any relationship. Being Ace/Grey Ace does not make my life any less fulfilling. Our conversation was brief and I employed my introvert survival skills and retreated to my room. 😅 

 

Despite all the awkwardness, I am glad I came out to her. It is a relief to not feel as if I should hide it though it did not go as smooth as it could have.  I keep reminding myself that she may need time to process and understand my orientation. She does not have to like or agree with it and that is okay, as long as things remain civil.  We will see what tomorrow brings. 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ReyGraves

It boggles my mind that asexuality is a concept people struggle to understand/accept. 

 

Good on you for coming out! It sounds like things came out okay, and it kinda looks like a positive start for the future! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TeaGee
6 hours ago, ReyGraves said:

It boggles my mind that asexuality is a concept people struggle to understand/accept. 

 

Good on you for coming out! It sounds like things came out okay, and it kinda looks like a positive start for the future! 

That is definitely something I noticed prior to coming out. That asexuality is such an alien thing to many people and getting them to believe you and trust that you know yourself can be very trying. It definitely went better than it could have. I actually came out to a close friend a few weeks ago and was able to lay everything out. She was very accepting and our talk gave me a lot of confidence to come out to my mom. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
bare_trees
10 hours ago, TeaGee said:

 Of course, there were the typical questions: "How do you know?" "Are you sure that is something you can decide at your age?, etc".

Maybe if she could read your post, she'd see that you're obviously very mature and thoughtful and perhaps you can "decide" this sort of thing.  Congratulations on coming out!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TeaGee

Long overdue update: I was worried about the morning after as we did not get a chance to talk with me leaving early for work. I did get a text from her later that day saying that she will always want the best for me and her love for me will not change. I did not think that it would but it is always nice to hear that affirmation. 

On ‎8‎/‎11‎/‎2018 at 7:05 AM, MichaelTannock said:

 

This will definitely be useful for the inevitable questions when the subject comes up again. Thanks!

On ‎8‎/‎11‎/‎2018 at 7:21 AM, bare_trees said:

Maybe if she could read your post, she'd see that you're obviously very mature and thoughtful and perhaps you can "decide" this sort of thing.  Congratulations on coming out! 

I don't know if she is really ready to sit down and have a frank discussion about my sexuality but if/when she does I will consider showing her my posts. Our relationship has not really changed but it also feels like we are avoiding the subject for now. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now