No, Pamela Anderson. Asexuals aren't just broken nerds afraid of sex

[Guest]

Ok... my take after reading the actual column

 

Pamela Anderson probably knows nothing about the orientation. 

 

What she was addressing was porn addiction which is an issue. When someone delves too far into a fantasy life they stop being able to enjoy the real partner they have, so they stop wanting sex with them. If you live your life in fantasy, reality cant compete with it. 

 

Did she articulate it well? No. Was she or the person writing in sensitive to aces ? No. But, I dont think she was even addressing asexuality at all. She probably doesnt even know what it is. And i dont think the person writing in has an ace partner.. just a partner that wanted sex and at the moment doesnt but probably will in the future. 

[Tyger Songbird]

4 hours ago, Serran said:

Ok... my take after reading the actual column

 

Pamela Anderson probably knows nothing about the orientation. 

 

What she was addressing was porn addiction which is an issue. When someone delves too far into a fantasy life they stop being able to enjoy the real partner they have, so they stop wanting sex with them. If you live your life in fantasy, reality cant compete with it. 

 

Did she articulate it well? No. Was she or the person writing in sensitive to aces ? No. But, I dont think she was even addressing asexuality at all. She probably doesnt even know what it is. And i dont think the person writing in has an ace partner.. just a partner that wanted sex and at the moment doesnt but probably will in the future. 

That could be the case, really. I mean, how many articles and TV specials are really put out there for asexuals, really. It seems like there aren't any from what I've seen. We need more of a visible face for people to start recognizing us and everything. We for some reason with AVEN are somehow remaining invisible all too often. We really need to gain more of an image, to be honest. I wish it were easier to have people gain awareness, but maybe we need to do more press for that.

[knittinghistorian]

10 hours ago, Someone Else said:

Oh aliens aren't odd enough to dislike pizza.    

In “The Dresden Files”, faeries are total suckers for pizza. Traditional bribes of bread and honey are fine and all, but...PIZZA!!

[Tyger Songbird]

14 hours ago, LadyOracle said:

But do you enjoy other things? 

 

As an HSP I react very strongly to everything, which isn't that great. Things can be really enjoyable, but also awfully overwhelming. I couldn't go on a rollercoaster, public transport is challenging enough. I read the opposite exists, too. 

I will speak for me. I tend to go through life with headphones to get rid of the outside world. I like to listen to music. I enjoy music a lot, as it brings me into a bliss state. Not all types of music. it has to have some sort of melodic rhythm to it, mostly, even though I can appreciate more heavy rap style stuff. However, when it comes to the rest like you stated, I could never do a roller coaster or anything like that. Way too much stimulation.

[012]

20 hours ago, tygersongbird said:

I am actually the opposite of you. I will eat breakfast at any time of the day. I will not do anything without having a good breakfast. I never really eat lunch to be honest with you. I personally don't enjoy lunch, and I am not a big dinner person, even though I may cook dinner since I live with my rents. However, breakfast, that is me. I need that. I love breakfast, and if I want to go out, I usually go out to a place that serves breakfast as well. Speaking of which, there is a great shop in town that serves a great belgian waffle breakfast with homemade grits. Yum.

 

Other than that, I am exactly like you are. I tend to not do those things that most other people are simply into. I don't smoke, drink, not into really amusement parks, and not too big into restaurants either. I save my money by being at home, and I tend to not be all extravagant. I don't think I've been clothes shopping in over 4 years, really. I still fit all the clothes, and I've actually lost inches so some clothes are looser now. Anyway, I don't really do any of those things that other people do. I don't think my nervous system is broken, though. Maybe it's just us. Maybe there's something to us.

 

Or maybe this is something that's unique to asexuals. Who knows? That could be up for study.

I'll eat breakfast foods other times in the day just not first thing.  Other than that... most of the other stuff... we could almost be related.  And I thought I was unique LOLOL

[012]

16 hours ago, LadyOracle said:

But do you enjoy other things? 

 

As an HSP I react very strongly to everything, which isn't that great. Things can be really enjoyable, but also awfully overwhelming. I couldn't go on a rollercoaster, public transport is challenging enough. I read the opposite exists, too. 

To a point, yes.  But generally I don't react strongly to things, I'm pretty mellow and introverted most of the time.  If I was in a group of people you wouldn't even notice me.  Not that I hang out with people much since most of the time I just stay at home.

[Tyger Songbird]

3 minutes ago, 012 said:

To a point, yes.  But generally I don't react strongly to things, I'm pretty mellow and introverted most of the time.  If I was in a group of people you wouldn't even notice me.  Not that I hang out with people much since most of the time I just stay at home.

Maybe we are related. I don't tend to hang out with others either. I know that for a fact. I am introverted too. I am not a person who is into a big crowd or groups. I stay at home like you. I actually spend my Fridays and Saturdays by myself really. I'm not a party person, and nightclubs no way. I stay at home mostly. And here I thought I was the only one.

[012]

1 minute ago, tygersongbird said:

Maybe we are related. I don't tend to hang out with others either. I know that for a fact. I am introverted too. I am not a person who is into a big crowd or groups. I stay at home like you. I actually spend my Fridays and Saturdays by myself really. I'm not a party person, and nightclubs no way. I stay at home mostly. And here I thought I was the only one.

Ha, nope!

[Rhaenys]

I'm torn between saying Pam Anderson is pretty much just a airhead with nothing to her intelligence so she ain't worth my time but she's spreading the ignorance and that ignorance will reach so much others.

[Tyger Songbird]

8 minutes ago, Ashara said:

I'm torn between saying Pam Anderson is pretty much just a airhead with nothing to her intelligence so she ain't worth my time but she's spreading the ignorance and that ignorance will reach so much others.

That's where it will get bad. Most people don't even know another asexual in real life, really. It is messed up that there is little information in mainstream about asexuality in media.

[Tyger Songbird]

38 minutes ago, 012 said:

Ha, nope!

Yup. Apparently, we must be of the same tree or something. Here I thought that I was the only one who was an introverted asexual who eats less than 2 times a day, and will eat dinner at weird times at night. We must be the only ones who does that.

[Alejandrogynous]

From looking at the advice column, she (and the person asking the question) aren't talking about asexuality. They're using a word to describe a state of being, the same way one might say their partner is "depressed" without meaning a clinical diagnosis of depression. Is it the best worded question and the most conscientious and well-researched response? No. Is she answering the question the person asked? Yes. I don't love her advice regardless, but I also don't think she's having a go at the asexual community, or even knows we exist as an orientation, really.

[Tyger Songbird]

2 hours ago, Alejandrogynous said:

From looking at the advice column, she (and the person asking the question) aren't talking about asexuality. They're using a word to describe a state of being, the same way one might say their partner is "depressed" without meaning a clinical diagnosis of depression. Is it the best worded question and the most conscientious and well-researched response? No. Is she answering the question the person asked? Yes. I don't love her advice regardless, but I also don't think she's having a go at the asexual community, or even knows we exist as an orientation, really.

Yeah, someone pointed that out too. However, the sad part about this is that Pamela Anderson is a world famous person, really. And the worst part is that she can influence many people's opinions in terms of public opinion on asexuality. It is easily tough to combat someone who is misinformed and spreading misinformation. That is scary. If anything, she is a display of what mainstream pop culture believes about us asexuals. However, she is also helping formulate and entrench that belief system about asexuals that is misinformed. We have to still step up to the plate to really beat back that message and overall toxic sexuality belief that being sexual =healthy.

[Guest]

18 minutes ago, tygersongbird said:

Yeah, someone pointed that out too. However, the sad part about this is that Pamela Anderson is a world famous person, really. And the worst part is that she can influence many people's opinions in terms of public opinion on asexuality. It is easily tough to combat someone who is misinformed and spreading misinformation. That is scary. If anything, she is a display of what mainstream pop culture believes about us asexuals. However, she is also helping formulate and entrench that belief system about asexuals that is misinformed. We have to still step up to the plate to really beat back that message and overall toxic sexuality belief that being sexual =healthy.

No. The bad belief is being sexual is the only way to be healthy. Being sexual is healthy, for sexual people.. for aces not so much. 

 

But, I think the problem with the article is more the person asking the question. Asexual phase is not a needed phrasing. But, its probably going to become more common. Like Taylor Swifts ex said her "asexual ways" broke them up... meaning she wouldnt sleep with him. 

[PastelBread]

These stereotypes are ugh. Why do people with influence usually have their facts wrong? LOL

[Tyger Songbird]

13 hours ago, Serran said:

No. The bad belief is being sexual is the only way to be healthy. Being sexual is healthy, for sexual people.. for aces not so much. 

 

But, I think the problem with the article is more the person asking the question. Asexual phase is not a needed phrasing. But, its probably going to become more common. Like Taylor Swifts ex said her "asexual ways" broke them up... meaning she wouldnt sleep with him. 

Good point. I just think that we need to get to the point that for the life of it all, not everyone needs to try having sex. After all, that's one of the main arguments people throw out against asexuals, really. "

 

"Have you ever had sex?"

 

"You should try it to see if you'd change your mind!"

[Jonesie]

My brother  is a hardcore gamer and he is sexual. OMG some people...

[Comrade F&F]

First reaction: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

 

Second reaction: Wait, people actually listen to this nonsense. That's...scary.

[Tyger Songbird]

On 8/16/2018 at 8:56 PM, Feys&Florets said:

First reaction: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

 

Second reaction: Wait, people actually listen to this nonsense. That's...scary.

Yeah, that's the sad part. People will buy into that, really. That's the scary part.

[The Dryad]

I didn't know she was so ignorant, im not a fan of Baywatch, but I used to follow her because she's vegan, and is in development of faux fur in Russia, where it's widely believed faux fur isn't as good a real, and fur us seen as a necessity because if the harshness of winter, but I digress. I'm not following her anymore.