Asexuality and touch?

[sacred-stoner]

 

This generally a complicated topic, but I'll do my best to elaborate.

 

I am generally either indifferent to touch or repulsed by touch. My reaction to touch is dependent on the situation, but I will say that I am generally averse. Situations in which I am indifferent include some taps on the shoulder, high-fives, and (sometimes) handshakes. 

 

Now, before I go into repulsion, I have a few things to mention. I'm hyper-sensitive, meaning I respond strongly to many forms of stimulus. For example, there are hardly any foods that I eat, because I have a very sensitive palate, and most foods taste bad to me. I don't like certain textures. I get very irritated when I see people out of the corner of my eye while I'm trying to direct my attention elsewhere. I don't like being in close proximity to people, even when I'm not touching them (I often have to leave the sofa when someone sits next to me, though I don't mind the proximity on public transit or in crowds). I often find people's voices annoying, particularly when I'm trying to daydream or play a video game. This, as opposed to my asexuality, might be the cause of my touch-repulsion. 

 

Furthermore, I do show many signs of Asperger's, so I wouldn't dismiss the possibility of being somewhere along the autism spectrum. This might be another cause of my touch-aversion. However, I haven't bothered to get a formal diagnosis, so maybe it's best to take this with a grain of salt.

 

Anyway, I really hate being touched sometimes. My father lightly taps me awake in the morning, and it irritates me to the extent that I flinch and recoil. I often have to roll to the side to avoid his touch. Being touched by either of my parents irks me, and the sensation of being tapped even lightly persists like a burn or something. It makes me really uncomfortable.

 

During holidays and whatnot, I'm expected to embrace my parents and relatives. I don't recoil under these circumstances, but I always feel incredibly uncomfortable, stiff, and awkward. Kisses on the cheek are even worse and leave me repulsed. And hand-holding is not something I like to do, particularly in public. The more intimate the touch, the more disgusted I am.

 

There is essentially only one person whom I can willingly touch with any semblance of intimacy. The catch is that these touches are limited to me issuing pats on the head, touching his hair, and lightly brushing my hand against his. In other words, I'm fine as long as I initiate light contact. I'm more tolerant of his touch than other people's, but really, I'd prefer not being on the receiving end. Perhaps if I were upset, I'd enjoy a hug from him, but that's really it. It helps that the person in question is also asexual, and doesn't feel inclined to be touchy-feely (he might even be repulsed, as I am).

 

Side Note: PDAs are uncomfortable for me to watch and totally unwelcome. I can't even watch my parents be affectionate without shutting my eyes and covering my ears. Why do people have to do that in public? Maybe it's because I'm not used to receiving affection--my mother was not very affectionate toward me when I was young, though she expected affection from me. I never gave it to her, of course.

[RakshaTheCat]

I like light touch as long as there is some minimal amount of trust. Dogs are the best for it, they are just instantly friendly and I never miss a chance to pet a dog that comes close to investigate me.

 

Being creepy male, I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to initiate any kind of touch with humans, so I have never done it. Those who initiate with me, well, they are most often just creepy (like my family, no trust there), or it means they want sex (my now ex girlfriends), which quickly ruins little trust we had before... So I guess it means I should give up completely on any kind of touch with humans, because there is no way to enjoy it without them turning it into sexual thing?

[overturn overturn overturn]

We did cut our hair recently. It's 0.5 mm now.
And woman (hairdresser) washed our head, and her touch was very gentle and truly pleasant.
Feeling of water over our head, and her tender touch!
Our soul was singing from joy!
We said: ''You have very gentle hands...", and she said: ''Thanks"...

[afiero85]

Anything past a handshake or a quick hug repluses me. 

 

My worst experience was when my friends dragged me to this strip club that had a $10 cover and free beer. My one friend who knew I was single told all the strippers that I was single and had lots of money. I do appreciate viewing the female form so that's why I went and $10 all you can drink lol. They attacked me like a pack of wovles. Before I knew what was going on I had two of them on my lap and another giving me a back rub. It was very hard to get out of that and I spent three hours in my friend's car pretending I drank too much. 

[Louise928]

I don't mind the usual stuff like handshakes, short hugs by people I like and things I expect are coming (like bumping into others in crowds for example). Other than that I'm rather reserved when it comes to being touched (especially by people I don't know or don't know well). Always makes me very uncomfortable.

Also I don't like watching other people's pda if it's beyond holding hands or small pecks... It's not like I'm jealous. I just think that those are things to be done in private.