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Why is Autism a dirt word on this site? There is a strong link. Thoughts? Experiences?


ohmygosh

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I’m a sexual.  Married a guy who is a closet asexual and also a closet potential autistic- hides both from the public, but a sexual wife can’t help but notice I suppose. He refused the tests at the cost of my hopes... which is honestly more proof of his autism.

 

My question is: 

 

Why is autism a dirty word on this site? 

 

Is it human pride? 

Humility for those suspicious partners?

Self preservation on both sides? 

Not caring what autism is because you don’t need to care? 

No exposure to it before-like he and I? 

 

Thoughts? Let ‘me rip. 

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paperbackreader

Er...I don't think autism is a dirty word on this site?

 

Why is it important to you that your partner takes the tests?

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A lot of the autistic people I've met here are very open and un-ashamed about being autistic. I don't think it's  considered a dirt word at all (isn't there even a when thread dedicated solely to autism spectrum people?)

 

What is frowned upon though is claiming someone else must be autistic just because they're asexual. I don't mean you and your husband, but if a new member joined saying they're asexual and someone said "oh you're probably autistic then" or something to that effect, that would get that person saying that in a fair bit of crap lol.

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1 hour ago, ohmygosh said:

I’m a sexual.  Married a guy who is a closet asexual and also a closet potential autistic- hides both from the public, but a sexual wife can’t help but notice I suppose. He refused the tests at the cost of my hopes... which is honestly more proof of his autism.

 

My question is: 

 

Why is autism a dirty word on this site? 

 

Is it human pride? 

Humility for those suspicious partners?

Self preservation on both sides? 

Not caring what autism is because you don’t need to care? 

No exposure to it before-like he and I? 

 

Thoughts? Let ‘me rip. 

My thought is that your post is rather rude.  

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I'm sorry for the difficulties with your husband, ohmygosh.

 

I don't feel autism is a "dirt word" on this site, I've never seen it as such.

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I'll agree here. Autism is not a dirty word. As others have said what irks is when people assume that an asexual is autistic and vice-versa. Whilst it would be correct to say that there are some people who are autistic and asexual, there are many asexuals who are not autistic, and many autistic people who are sexual. It's the inane stereotyping which gets on people's wick 

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paperbackreader
9 minutes ago, Skycaptain said:

people's wick

Imagines sky with a wick atop sky's head :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r::ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:

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Telecaster68

It's not exactly a dirt word, but people are very sensitive about it, because of the stereotyping. There is however a well established correlation (ie link, not necessarily causal and definitely not one on one), with people on the spectrum more likely to identify as non normative genders and orientations. To me, much of what AVEN calls 'aromanticism' is consistent with AS, too. 

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anisotrophic

Hard to tell from op if "closeted" refered to private denial -- or lack of publicness.

 

My mostly ace spouse is not public but also not in any denial. Same of someone else close to me that came out as ace privately. (OTOH I'm public about my gender stuff.) None of us are in the slightest ASD.

 

And I've worked with self-reported ASD folks with work & don't seem to have any issues professionally... (One thing I do is be direct, I've been told not to drop hints to avoid hurting feelings?) No sense that they were ace, but hard to know I suppose.

 

All in all: not much sense of strong correlations here. No stigma from me, but I do have a bit of skepticism about "self-diagnosis", especially of others. (But I know this can be hard to avoid if someone is avoiding getting professional input.)

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Telecaster68
10 minutes ago, anisotropic said:

All in all: not much sense of strong correlations here

There is copious peer reviewed research.

 

ASD people frequently don't have any professional issues, although they can be rigid and unsociable. They're often very thorough, conscientious, etc, because there's a clear role that they can learn, with unambiguous rules. I know my wife is like that - we met at work.

 

Where ASD causes issues is in intimate relationships, because they're deeper than work relationships, and all the scripting just feels fake and crude. You can watch all the romantic films in the world, and read all the books, but in the end, relationships are two people in a room, being themselves, and figuring out how to behave in that particular moment with that particular person, and aspies find this hard. They also involve emotions, and the nature of AS is that it emotions are difficult, if not impossible to process, and cause great stress (which I suspect is why there's a correlation with finding sex too stressful to bother with) and withdraw.

 

That's quite apart from not being able to read emotions and sensory issues.

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Not sure autism is a dirt word here. Just not come across it a lot. My ace is probably autistic as well. If I asked him to take a test, he probably would, but the answer would neither be a surprise nor would it be useful. He has several other autistic traits as well, and his sexual desire is very very closely attached to how he is coping, so it is entirely possible that the asexuality is a result of the difficulties autism presents for him (that is if he is autistic - we've never tested).

 

I can't speak for "dirt word", but I'm trained in behavioral sciences and am actually pretty good though not a practicing professional (choice). I can tell you why I don't pursue that train of investigation/thought with him.

  • The label does not matter. It is the difficulties manifesting that are the challenge.
  • We do address specific difficulties he faces (demand avoidance, APD, anxieties, low self esteem, difficulties relating to people in a sustained manner though he communicates just fine, difficulty operating outside recognized roles, Alexythimia...), but his motivation for addressing them can be really low. Even if he learns to successfully manage them, and this is not something someone else can do for him, it will at best be his way to cope with what is already on his plate. It is a long, long way before his autism can be dealt with enough to resolve any asexuality issues - and that is assuming that the autism is the sole cause of them.
  • Given his self esteem issues, attaching a serious label to the problems is unlikely to free him to be more functional, it is more likely to make him see himself as an insurmountable problem. Which is neither my objective nor will it help anything.
  • It may also make him see the relationship as something simply beyond his abilities to "do it right" (his anxiety results in perfectionism) and exit - possibly even to protect me from his symptoms - which will make both our lives poorer, because he is a very nice and special person, regardless of the difficulties we face on many fronts.
  • It is clear that he is the one with severe difficulties, so I think it isn't unreasonable to expect that I end up doing a lot more of the coping (which is far easier for me than him) so that we may meet. Whether half way or 10-90 or 90-10 is irrelevant. What matters is that the relationship works. Therefore, I think it is more useful for me to study his difficulties and come up with functional ways of helping him to whatever extent I can, than dump a pile of paralyzing labels on him that he must now find a way to resolve in addition to the difficulties he is already facing. While I do what? Twiddle my thumbs expecting a perfect partner product to be presented to me at the end of his task...?

 

I have found it more functional to keep any diagnosis and problem solving related to sex focused more on my needs than his. He doesn't want sex. That is that. Overriding it in any way is abuse. Manipulating him to get treated for autism just so I can get laid is creepy max. Instead, what works for us is stating that I enjoy sex. One solution we had right off the bat was that me being polyamorous, I could find a willing partner to get all the sex I wanted. His refusal does not have to be the end of my sex life. Another functional point we had was where I could ask him to stimulate me sexually and he was fine with it as long as I didn't touch his body. That worked while I worked, but frankly, I lost interest in him sexually after a while of that.

 

We are still together, still committed. Still addressing psychological issues he faces, but one thing I am clear on, is that if he pursues any changework, it must be because he wants it. I wouldn't even dream of implying that if he only faced his issues, I'd get laid more. I mean seriously, as though living with autism is not enough, he must go through massive effort toward something he isn't motivated to seek so that his partner can get laid?

 

That won't work, and if I asked for it and it somehow worked, I wouldn't be able to face myself in the mirror for putting my sexual desires on a higher priority over lifelong difficulties he has.

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On a different level, autism itself is a complex thing. It is a spectrum of perceived dysfunctions and there are few objective boundaries. As someone who has worked with a lot of people over time and observed even more, I can confidently say most people display some or the other autistic traits at some point or the other.

 

I prefer to see it as a coping skills issue. Some people have a high threshhold of processing complex inputs before their mind goes into chaos. Others have a low tolerance. To some or the other extent, some of these skills can be learned and functionality improved. For everyone, for as long as we live. What matters is being functional enough.

 

For example, my asocial tendencies are a choice. I know what I enjoy and what I don't, and assert that boundary. Can I cope in a social situation? Yes. But the assertiveness of my refusals, for all intents and purposes makes me dysfunctional in social situations. It isn't that I can't enjoy them, I don't even want to. I see no reason why I should be bothered to learn to like it. I see no value in it. Similar to how my ace feels about sex. We could have a long debate over whether this determined dislike is caused by borderline autism or simply an eccentric and extremely confident personality. But the functional bottom line is the same.

 

What I am getting to is that even "normal" people (if such a thing exists) can show autistic traits and it is not something you can cure or eradicate. There is no treatment for autism. At best there are management strategies. If sex makes him uncomfortable, even if it is because of the autism, managing strategies are not going to make him like it. At best, teach him to cope with having sex with you. Is that even a desirable goal? For a partner to have to learn to cope with having sex with us?

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40 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

There is copious peer reviewed research.

 

ASD people frequently don't have any professional issues, although they can be rigid and unsociable. They're often very thorough, conscientious, etc, because there's a clear role that they can learn, with unambiguous rules. I know my wife is like that - we met at work.

 

Where ASD causes issues is in intimate relationships, because they're deeper than work relationships, and all the scripting just feels fake and crude. You can watch all the romantic films in the world, and read all the books, but in the end, relationships are two people in a room, being themselves, and figuring out how to behave in that particular moment with that particular person, and aspies find this hard. They also involve emotions, and the nature of AS is that it emotions are difficult, if not impossible to process, and cause great stress (which I suspect is why there's a correlation with finding sex too stressful to bother with) and withdraw.

 

That's quite apart from not being able to read emotions and sensory issues.

Do you think it's more that many autistic people may have asexual traits, but only some aces have autistic traits? Because there are still plenty of aces with active social lives, happy relationships (especially if they can get with another ace or someone with a low sex drive), plenty who hold down very social jobs, very good at communicating etc. Those kinds of aces are less likely to spend a lot of time on forums like AVEN (due to being much more extroverted and busy) but I've seen many come through here over the years, they just don't often stay long :P and we do still have regulars like that as well!!

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Still a third train of thought (hence the separate posts) is something I keep saying at all the relationship type forums I am on. Probably said it here before too, but worth repeating.

 

You cannot be lover and shrink at the same time and expect the relationship to thrive. One wants to present the best of ourselves to a lover. To be appreciated, admired, accepted by the person who matters to us. A shrink ends up seeing the gutter of our minds. It is like trying to feel attracted to someone who has helped you treat a genital wart or something. You'll always be wondering what all they see and remember when they look at you intimately. It is very, very, very hard to maintain a boundary between a therapeutic relationship and an intimate one.

 

Another reason is that the process of changework results in a lot of emotional trauma as issues are brought to light and addressed. There is vulnerability and there is a LOT of anger. It is like shooting the messenger. INEVITABLY there is a point when the client hates the therapist on some level for simply seeing all these ugly things about them, they resent the power the therapist has when they are at their most vulnerable. These feelings bleeding over into an intimate relationship will take a very senior psychologist to be able to navigate their way through.

 

I speak from experience. Our relationship has veered into the therapeutic often. Mostly because me being who I am and not being able to unsee what I have years of experience to see. I am skilled, but I have still regretted the damage to our relationship from his anger and resentments due to necessary addressing of problems. I have, at many times completely avoided using ANY diagnostic terms or even simply not addressing clear issues I see, because our relationship matters to me more than "fixing" him.

 

Everyone's mileage may vary, but I think this is a warning that should never be taken lightly. All professionals know not to mix the personal and the professional. Unfortunately, general people who spot issues often don't have that training or wisdom to stay away or even suggest professional intervention if agreeable.

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Telecaster68
32 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

Do you think it's more that many autistic people may have asexual traits, but only some aces have autistic traits? Because there are still plenty of aces with active social lives, happy relationships (especially if they can get with another ace or someone with a low sex drive), plenty who hold down very social jobs, very good at communicating etc. Those kinds of aces are less likely to spend a lot of time on forums like AVEN (due to being much more extroverted and busy) but I've seen many come through here over the years, they just don't often stay long :P and we do still have regulars like that as well!!

Oh absolutely. That's what I meant by it not being one-to-one. More aspies than NTs identify as non-normative gender or orientation - that's all it is. So many aspies are straight, many aces are aspies - just there's a higher incidence where the circles of the Venn diagram intersect. 

 

But it also doesn't mean there's no correlation, just because some aspies are straight and some aces aren't aspies.

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18 minutes ago, anamikanon said:

You cannot be lover and shrink at the same time and expect the relationship to thrive. One wants to present the best of ourselves to a lover. To be appreciated, admired, accepted by the person who matters to us. A shrink ends up seeing the gutter of our minds. It is like trying to feel attracted to someone who has helped you treat a genital wart or something. You'll always be wondering what all they see and remember when they look at you intimately. It is very, very, very hard to maintain a boundary between a therapeutic relationship and an intimate one.

To me, those darkest parts make up the deepest, most vulnerable, most beautiful love there is. Helping each other out with herpes or other embarrassing illnesses you each may have. Listening to the deepest, darkest, most unlovable secrets you each may have and accepting and loving each other the more because of it (not in spite of those darkest parts, but because of them). Love is seeing each others darkness and accepting and loving each other for that darkness along with the light. When someone can still accept you and love you and desire you despite knowing those darkest most terrible aspects of yourself, you feel free from shame and regret and sorrow. You bask in each others acceptance and it makes the sex and the love and the friendship so much more powerful and pleasurable, so much more unbreakable. Having to only show the best parts of myself to my lover would destroy me, because that's already what I have to do with every human I come in contact with. A lover however is an extension of my own body, as I am of theirs, and if I cannot accept them as I do myself (nor they accept me as they do themselves) then what we have is empty. It's nothing. It's just a façade where two people are trying to always look their best for each other for fear the other won't love them if they show them their darkness. But it's not true love (for me anyway) if two people can only love each other under the condition that perfection is maintained. I'd rather be alone forever than have to keep up such a pretence. If we can't splash around naked in each others gutters then we aren't in love.

 

So what I'm saying is, for you personally you have the way you like your relationships to work, but please don't make the mistake of assuming that applies to everybody. Some people thrive in the exact opposite of what you have outlined in your comment.

 

 

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Telecaster68
1 hour ago, anamikanon said:

Not sure autism is a dirt word here. Just not come across it a lot. My ace is probably autistic as well. If I asked him to take a test, he probably would, but the answer would neither be a surprise nor would it be useful. He has several other autistic traits as well, and his sexual desire is very very closely attached to how he is coping, so it is entirely possible that the asexuality is a result of the difficulties autism presents for him (that is if he is autistic - we've never tested).

 

I can't speak for "dirt word", but I'm trained in behavioral sciences and am actually pretty good though not a practicing professional (choice). I can tell you why I don't pursue that train of investigation/thought with him.

  • The label does not matter. It is the difficulties manifesting that are the challenge.
  • We do address specific difficulties he faces (demand avoidance, APD, anxieties, low self esteem, difficulties relating to people in a sustained manner though he communicates just fine, difficulty operating outside recognized roles, Alexythimia...), but his motivation for addressing them can be really low. Even if he learns to successfully manage them, and this is not something someone else can do for him, it will at best be his way to cope with what is already on his plate. It is a long, long way before his autism can be dealt with enough to resolve any asexuality issues - and that is assuming that the autism is the sole cause of them.
  • Given his self esteem issues, attaching a serious label to the problems is unlikely to free him to be more functional, it is more likely to make him see himself as an insurmountable problem. Which is neither my objective nor will it help anything.
  • It may also make him see the relationship as something simply beyond his abilities to "do it right" (his anxiety results in perfectionism) and exit - possibly even to protect me from his symptoms - which will make both our lives poorer, because he is a very nice and special person, regardless of the difficulties we face on many fronts.
  • It is clear that he is the one with severe difficulties, so I think it isn't unreasonable to expect that I end up doing a lot more of the coping (which is far easier for me than him) so that we may meet. Whether half way or 10-90 or 90-10 is irrelevant. What matters is that the relationship works. Therefore, I think it is more useful for me to study his difficulties and come up with functional ways of helping him to whatever extent I can, than dump a pile of paralyzing labels on him that he must now find a way to resolve in addition to the difficulties he is already facing. While I do what? Twiddle my thumbs expecting a perfect partner product to be presented to me at the end of his task...?

 

I have found it more functional to keep any diagnosis and problem solving related to sex focused more on my needs than his. He doesn't want sex. That is that. Overriding it in any way is abuse. Manipulating him to get treated for autism just so I can get laid is creepy max. Instead, what works for us is stating that I enjoy sex. One solution we had right off the bat was that me being polyamorous, I could find a willing partner to get all the sex I wanted. His refusal does not have to be the end of my sex life. Another functional point we had was where I could ask him to stimulate me sexually and he was fine with it as long as I didn't touch his body. That worked while I worked, but frankly, I lost interest in him sexually after a while of that.

 

We are still together, still committed. Still addressing psychological issues he faces, but one thing I am clear on, is that if he pursues any changework, it must be because he wants it. I wouldn't even dream of implying that if he only faced his issues, I'd get laid more. I mean seriously, as though living with autism is not enough, he must go through massive effort toward something he isn't motivated to seek so that his partner can get laid?

 

That won't work, and if I asked for it and it somehow worked, I wouldn't be able to face myself in the mirror for putting my sexual desires on a higher priority over lifelong difficulties he has.

I'd echo pretty much all of that, with one difference. Me stating my need for sex doesn't work. The charitable version is that it's overwhelm. The less charitable version is that lack of theory of mind means she just didn't see that something was important to someone else, because it's not important to her. A third factor could be avoidance. Another could be - completely unrelated to anything spectrummy - laziness. She has elements of all four.

 

She also has no interest in self reflection or change.

 

So the bottom line is that it's just not sustainable for me to do 90-100% of the 'work', and get nothing back. It's not a workable relationship, long term. However morally preferable it would be to throw my needs under her bus, I can't, and won't - not least because it would have no real effect on her or our relationship. My parents and grandparents all had relationships in which one partnered martyred themselves pointlessly, and it doesn't make anyone happy.

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4 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

Love is seeing each others darkness and accepting and loving each other for that darkness along with the light. When someone can still accept you and love you and desire you despite knowing those darkest most terrible aspects of yourself, you feel free from shame and regret and sorrow.

You've missed a key portion here. CHOICE. The kind of stuff that can come up in therapy is on a very different level. For example, it can be about why you need to correct something I say earnestly and reject it by making assumptions from a completely different situation. How this gets discussed with a lover or a therapeutic relationship will be very different. As a friend, I'd let you know how I feel about it, but largely learn to accept it as a part of how you interact with me. If I were your therapist, I'd be addressing the need to have the final word when a strong voice speaks up. The strong voice in question may not even be me. No matter how understanding you are in a loving relationship and accepting of dark parts of the other, the NATURE of the relationship is different and often incompatible with the other.

 

The interventions made in a therapeutic relationship aren't with a focus of fuzzy pink comfort and love, they are with a view of addressing dysfunctional patters and can require very hard and harsh stances to force someone to confront something they are in denial of. Love, in an intimate relationship often requires that you accept your partner unconditionally without constantly expecting them to change something about themselves.

 

It may not even succeed. For example, there was one person with a very severely self-destructive pattern that I had confronted. He accepted what I said, tried to work on it. Ingrained patterns were very overwhelming. He dropped out of the changework, I chalked it up to failure. Five years later, I ran into him and he called it the most transformative experience of his life. But he never was my client again. Can you risk that with a lover?

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3 hours ago, Skycaptain said:

I'll agree here. Autism is not a dirty word. As others have said what irks is when people assume that an asexual is autistic and vice-versa. Whilst it would be correct to say that there are some people who are autistic and asexual, there are many asexuals who are not autistic, and many autistic people who are sexual. It's the inane stereotyping which gets on people's wick 

This, exactly.  Autism isn’t a dirty word here... it’s just the assumptions and stereotypes that get people going.

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6 minutes ago, anamikanon said:

If I were your therapist, I'd be addressing the need to have the final word when a strong voice speaks up. The strong voice in question may not even be me.

This may not be an accurate diagnosis. It is merely an example of how brutal an analytical perspective can be when applied to our deepest and most denied needs. The instant anger you felt when you read this sentence is not something you'd want a lover feeling about you, but if this were a therapeutic relationship instead of a discussion forum, AND if the diagnosis were accurate, it would be very necessary to address in order to make you aware of patterns and it can feel very violative and traumatic and all you want to do is kick the person saying it OUT.

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Telecaster68

It's very difficult to have a discussion in general on AVEN (and often on other boards, but AVEN seems more prone to it, I've noticed), without people extrapolating 'all' from 'some', particularly making assumptions of stereotyping when there weren't any. We all do it, and then the debate dives into pedantry - there's been traces on this thread.

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59 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

Do you think it's more that many autistic people may have asexual traits, but only some aces have autistic traits?

I think what he meant was that several challenges faced by autistic people can make sex too complicated to be pleasurable, so autism could be a factor in asexuality in some cases.

 

Also, autism is not one set of symptoms. Particularly people with high functioning can do jobs and such very well. In fact, the inherent perfectionism and taking rules can even make them the perfect employees, because they won't cut corners, they won't let stuff drop half done and so on. On the other hand, the ambiguity that comes with relationships can still be very hard to manage. Catching subtle expressions, moods of a loved one, treating relationships with full attention one moment and complete oblivion the next.... can make it very hard in intimate situations, because the partner's responses too get more complex with more erratic behavior and that can quickly get insurmountable for someone who already finds relationships hard. Sex may simply not be pleasurable because they are concentrating on lining up too many ducks in their head to make it happen and can't get any joy out of it, because each moment is followed by another when something is supposed to happen and the relentless checklist in their head takes all their attention.

 

Again, this may not hold true for all people on the autism spectrum. It will depend on how their mind works and what they find difficult.

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Telecaster68

Exactly.

 

I've found it's not so much a checklist, more like tracing particular behaviours back to ways of processing information and emotion, like finding bullet holes in a wall and working out their trajectory back to where the shooter must've been standing.

8 minutes ago, anamikanon said:

I think what he meant was that several challenges faced by autistic people can make sex too complicated to be pleasurable, so autism could be a factor in asexuality in some cases.

Some aspies also say they just live too much in their own heads, and don't see themselves as innately male or female, straight or gay, bi, asexual, or whatever, so they almost consciously choose and script a gender or orientation role. Clearly that's a far more fluid thing than having some innate instinct about it.

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Anthracite_Impreza

Hi, proud autistic here. I've never felt autism is a dirty word here, we have our own threads and only once has someone belittled me for it (they were quickly banned). Real life treats autism as a dirty word much more.

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Just to be clear, correlation does not equal causation. Another thing to think about is how weak or strong the correlation is. :) 

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Telecaster68
47 minutes ago, daveb said:

Just to be clear, correlation does not equal causation. Another thing to think about is how weak or strong the correlation is. :) 

True, and the actual mechanics aren't at all clear. It just doesn't seem plausible to me that a condition which is significantly about issues around nonverbal interaction with other people has no impact on sexuality, and the correlation is from another factor. It's not chance - the research controlled for that in the usual way. 

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6 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

True, and the actual mechanics aren't at all clear. It just doesn't seem plausible to me that a condition which is significantly about issues around nonverbal interaction with other people has no impact on sexuality, and the correlation is from another factor. It's not chance - the research controlled for that in the usual way. 

Do you mean this? 

 

(from https://www.aane.org/sexual-orientation-gender-identity-aspergerautism/ )

Quote

Sexual Orientation: (To whom one is attracted) While many with Asperger/Autism firmly identify as heterosexual others firmly identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. Still others may be more flexible regarding whom they are attracted to; being sexually attracted to an individual for who they are as a person regardless of the other person’s biological gender, gender identity or gender expression.
Other Asperger/Autistics may identify as Asexual or Aromantic in higher numbers than in the general population.

 

...But they’re Autistic. How could they know if they’re Gay or Transgender?

Because someone is diagnosed with an autism spectrum condition does not mean that person is less capable of determining their own sexual orientation or gender identity...

 

(from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5789215/ )

 

Quote

Sexuality in autism: hypersexual and paraphilic behavior in women and men with high-functioning autism spectrum disorder

Daniel Schöttle, MD; Peer Briken, MD; Oliver Tüscher, MD

 

...These studies suggest that many individuals with ASD seek sexual and romantic relationships similar to the non-ASD population12,13 and have the entire spectrum of sexual experiences and behaviors.12-18 However, there are still many stereotypes and societal beliefs about individuals with ASD, referring to them as uninterested in social and romantic relationships and as being asexual..The studies presented in Table I confirm that sexuality does matter in ASD individuals, and it becomes clear that the whole spectrum of sexual experiences and behaviors is represented in this group.11-13,15,20-31

 

 

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Telecaster68
3 hours ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

Yeah, amongst others. As I recall, that second study also says that while the whole range of sexual behaviours are represented among people with AS, the non-normative ones have a higher incidence than in the NT population.

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