alwaysquestioning

Is this Demisexuality?

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alwaysquestioning

For the longest time I thought I was an aro ace, but that changed after I met and spent time with a person who over the course of a year has become my best friend.  Now I think I am demiromantic since for the first and only time in my life a person (that friend) suddenly seems desirable for a romantic relationship. 

 

With pretty much all people up to this point I have been touch adverse, however I've noticed for the first time ever that I've been enjoying and wanting more physical contact with this one person.  Cuddling, kissing, and touching their arms, legs, tummy, or face are suddenly exciting and enjoyable with them.  The big caveat here is if anything sexual comes up.  The mere thought of touching this person (or anyone else) in a sexual way or in sexual places makes me feel physically sick to my stomach.  Thinking about sex with them or anyone else or even just hearing others talk/joke about it causes me to start to dry-heave.

 

To others that identify as demisexuals, have you ever felt this way?  Might I be demisexual? Or do you think that am I still a sex repulsed ace but just finally comfortable enough to desire to be physically close to someone.

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TheAP

Cuddling and kissing can be considered sensual attraction, not sexual. If you don't want to do anything sexual with the person, you're still asexual.

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Anthracite_Impreza

I don't think you're demi-sexual, as you say you absolutely don't want any sexual contact, but you could be demi-romantic. Romanticism is so hard to pin down though you'll really have to make up your own mind as to whether what you feel is romantic desire or a snuggly platonic one.

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alwaysquestioning

I guess the main thing that has me questioning is the whole touch thing.  It's enjoyable to me for instance run my hands along or rub along their legs/arms/belly/face.  These are typically things that the average person would construe as sexual acts.  I just don't get aroused as far as I can tell since I have no desire to continue/escalate to any explicit sexual acts. 

 

@TheAP: The sensual attraction is not a term I was familiar with.  It makes sense! Thanks for informing me of its existence!

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TheAP
11 hours ago, alwaysquestioning said:

These are typically things that the average person would construe as sexual acts.

That's probably because most people are sexual, and for them, the lines between what's sexual and what's not tend to be blurred. But those things aren't inherently sexual acts, if you don't perform them with the intent of leading up to sex.

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Deus Ex Infinity
On 8/7/2018 at 1:00 AM, alwaysquestioning said:

For the longest time I thought I was an aro ace, but that changed after I met and spent time with a person who over the course of a year has become my best friend.  Now I think I am demiromantic since for the first and only time in my life a person (that friend) suddenly seems desirable for a romantic relationship. 

 

With pretty much all people up to this point I have been touch adverse, however I've noticed for the first time ever that I've been enjoying and wanting more physical contact with this one person.  Cuddling, kissing, and touching their arms, legs, tummy, or face are suddenly exciting and enjoyable with them.  The big caveat here is if anything sexual comes up.  The mere thought of touching this person (or anyone else) in a sexual way or in sexual places makes me feel physically sick to my stomach.  Thinking about sex with them or anyone else or even just hearing others talk/joke about it causes me to start to dry-heave.

 

To others that identify as demisexuals, have you ever felt this way?  Might I be demisexual? Or do you think that am I still a sex repulsed ace but just finally comfortable enough to desire to be physically close to someone.

To me it sounds more like as if you could be demiromantic than demisexual, since you don't seem to experience any sexual desire even after you've established a long-term connection with someone. That's a very important difference.

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