pigeonchicken

Kissing??? I don't get it.

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pigeonchicken

Hey, I don't know about my sexuality blah blah blah but I have a question related to different types of attraction.

I don't feel sexual attraction any more and my libido went off goodness knows where but that isn't the point.

I like the idea of hugs. But at the same time kinda don't. I like the idea of them but if they're too warm I get really put off (makes no sense yeah I get it but again, that's not the point)

Kissing. A little peck would be cute if that makes sense. The idea of making out with someone though, I don't get it. It makes me uncomfortable. I'm fine if I see someone making out, but like, don't want it myself. I think maybe it's the warm thing again, like your mouths are all warm and together and eww...

More of a conversation starter than a question. Wait no it is a question. Why is this? Is it classified as romantic, or is it sexual (even though it's only kissing)?

 

I'd appreciate anyone who could help me out! Thanks

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janiejones

I think kissing can be seen as affectionate or sexual and is really just down to personal opinion. If someone was having a rather passionate make out session with their partner and were doing so with the intention of it leading somewhere then I would say that it's a sexual thing. But if it's just a simple peck on the lips I see it more as a way of someone expressing their affections. An ex I dated in high school used to put pressure on me to give him a 'proper kiss', meaning he wanted me to make out with him and he often seemed disappointed by my lack of interest. But I just couldn't really see what all the fuss was about.

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pigeonchicken

Thank you @janiejones, you've helped me quite a bit. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who just isn't interested! 

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janiejones
3 minutes ago, pigeonchicken said:

Thank you @janiejones, you've helped me quite a bit. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who just isn't interested! 

No worries. I don't mind kissing. But whenever I have been in a relationship with someone I never had the urge to kiss them all the time or make out with them. When I was in school I used to think I was weird for not wanting to. But now I'm older and identify as asexual it makes a lot more sense :)

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Grimalkin
23 minutes ago, janiejones said:

I think kissing can be seen as affectionate or sexual and is really just down to personal opinion.

That's such a good way of putting it! I never minded kissing, even enthusiastic kissing, because I never viewed it as especially sexual. Though I will get bored if we're making out for too long.

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janiejones
1 minute ago, Grimalkin said:

That's such a good way of putting it! I never minded kissing, even enthusiastic kissing, because I never viewed it as especially sexual. Though I will get bored if we're making out for too long.

Yeah, that's exactly what I feel like when it comes down to kissing someone. I'm more than happy to and I do like it. But in moderation 😂

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argar

I am not really answering the question, but personally it has always disturbed me for some reason.

 

Especially if others do it.

 

I've never really wanted to kiss anyone.

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MiffKeks

For me it's the other way around. I cannot watch other people making out it causes my sex repulsion to kick in with the speed of light. Dunno, I always kinda expect that it is just the step prior to, ya know... The imagination is kinda discomforting. So, I say that you're good!

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Anthraxite_Vampreza

Sloppy kissing is gross; don't wanna do it, don't wanna see it and definitely don't wanna hear it 😧

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pigeonchicken
8 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

Though I will get bored if we're making out for too long.

I am the same - I think it's because, that is like the top point of it all, the most exciting part (well at least it is for me personally) whereas other people may want it to lead to sex. If you don't want it to get any more than that then it gets boring.

4 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Sloppy kissing is gross; don't wanna do it, don't wanna see it and definitely don't wanna hear it 😧

Yeah, the sound effects are awful... 😂

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Laplace

Yeah I don’t get making out either. I guess it wouldn’t absolutely disgust me or make me throw up (I could probably do it if my life depended on it 😕), but it just seems really awkward and weird. It’d seems more embarrassing and cringy than nasty to me. Like, I can’t imagine a somewhat serious person like myself ever willingly sucking someone’s face 😓.

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Mewtwo

I like kissing. There is a cute romantic aspect to it. But I don't understand long make out sessions, it seems kind of overkill. 

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ZenaWind

I think a peck is alright, it can be really cute and/or romantic. It's one of the ways to show you care about someone.

 

I don't understand making out. It seems dragged out, long, and awkward. I don't want to be involved with it in any way. 

 

On 8/4/2018 at 5:29 AM, janiejones said:

I think kissing can be seen as affectionate or sexual and is really just down to personal opinion.

  I agree, kissing can be romantic or sexual. It depends on what your opinion is. 

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shoshi coast

I absolutely think "french kissing" is a sexual activity... I mean you wouldn't do it with your child or your mom! People do it because they find it arousing. I think a peck, even on the lips, can be non-sexual depending on the culture and circumstances. Lots of people give friends or family members a peck on the cheek, head, or even on the lips, and this is a display on non-sexual affection.

 

Personally I have always intensely disliked kissing with tongues. I think if you are asexual and remove the aspect of sexual arousal, it is a pretty weird thing to do with another person. But that's just me. ;)

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MrMaigo
On 8/4/2018 at 1:32 AM, pigeonchicken said:

like your mouths are all warm and together and eww...

And wet...

I tried it once and that happened, I realized I mage a huge mistake. If it wasn't in my home, I would have run away screaming.

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theotherpope

I haven't enjoyed kissing/making out when I've done it in the past. Partly, I think it's because I always had this feeling that the other person was taking more out of it than I was, which just made me feel weird and confused. In my head I always linked it to leading somewhere sexual.

 

I agree with a lot of people who have posted here - I think a lot of "is x or y sexual or affectionate/romantic" really comes down to intent. You kiss with the intent of it being sexual? Then it's probably sexual. On the flip side, if you kiss with romance and affection in mind, then that's what it falls under. Sometimes both! 😃

 

I adore little pecks, especially when they're on the hand, forehead, shoulder, little moments of intimacy where I can share affection. 

 

 

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(NotSo)DirtyDiana

Kissing was never ever sexual for me. When I got my first serious boyfriend and first kiss, it was magical in the fairytale romance way. Fast forward to when the honeymoon phase was over, kissing wasn't even romantic a lot of the time, it was gross. I hated if his lips were cold, but I hated warm too. I hated the taste of whatever he'd eaten (bleurgh), also hated minty taste of toothpaste. Saliva exchanging, please no, pass. I still like the idea of kissing in a purely romantic way, but my aversion to its grosser aspects would probably put me off in real life. 

 

Coming here and doing general searches online has reassured me that I'm not the only one who dislikes kissing for such and such reason. It can be gross, can't it? I've watched my friends kiss their boyfriends while their boyfriends had white mouth foam/gunk going on, and while I get the romance, I just thought "Oh please don't" lol. 

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Salmiakki

Kissing is yum

Well okay fine I've never done it but in my head it's great

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Anthraxite_Vampreza
31 minutes ago, (NotSo)DirtyDiana said:

white mouth foam/gunk

Did they have rabies? 😐 

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(NotSo)DirtyDiana

Lol mouths contain all sorts of gunk that I don't want to think about... I hate it when someone's talking and a line of saliva/gunk is visible... And sometimes when a person is talking there is so much moving inside their mouth and... I'm going to stop talking about this now. 

 

😅

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Wissem

Yeah kissing can be really gross, especially if the tongue is involved. I've tried to make it work, but even with guys that i consider attractive-looking it just feels like two hot snails slurping around. Little pecks on the cheek and vanilla kisses though, that's a way more powerful show of affection.

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pigeonchicken
3 hours ago, Wissem said:

it just feels like two hot snails slurping around. Little pecks on the cheek and vanilla kisses though, that's a way more powerful show of affection.

Ew, snails... But it's pretty accurate in my opinion. Just so slimy and ugh...

Little pecks mean a lot more in my opinion, because people don't tend to get any sexual pleasure from it, so if someone kisses you like that it would mean a lot more to me personally.

 

Thank you for everyone's replies, didn't expect this big of a discussion!

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Anthraxite_Vampreza
6 hours ago, pigeonchicken said:

Ew, snails...

Don't take out humans being gross on adorable gastropods.

mother-snail-vs-baby-snail-big.jpg

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Midday.m
On 8/5/2018 at 9:58 PM, theotherpope said:

I haven't enjoyed kissing/making out when I've done it in the past. Partly, I think it's because I always had this feeling that the other person was taking more out of it than I was, which just made me feel weird and confused. In my head I always linked it to leading somewhere sexual.

 

I agree with a lot of people who have posted here - I think a lot of "is x or y sexual or affectionate/romantic" really comes down to intent. You kiss with the intent of it being sexual? Then it's probably sexual. On the flip side, if you kiss with romance and affection in mind, then that's what it falls under. Sometimes both! 😃

 

I adore little pecks, especially when they're on the hand, forehead, shoulder, little moments of intimacy where I can share affection. 

 

 

I can totally relate with this. My last boyfriend was uncomfortable with the the fact that kissing him felt like some sort of chore that I always tried to avoid. 

I even tried to fake it, then he said "you're faking it wrongly," I kept biting him out of frustration. 

We later broke up and now we're best of friends. 

I really love a hug or two on days that I'm down, occasional forehead pecks are great too. 

But mouth to mouth?  NAH! I'll pass Thanks. 

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Madao

I don't mind others doing it. Myself, I am not really sure. I don't like seeing French Kissing in detail either. I want to try it once to see how it is, but I have a feeling I won't enjoy it. I don't like making out, it seems so tiring, to be honest. 

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LadyOracle

I really enjoy the feeling when it's someone I like. Unfortunately most people are really, really bad at it. I do see it as romantic or just a nice feeling and I could do it with most people as long as I like them. But when someone tries to kiss me and I know they're doing it because they want to have sex, I can't really handle it. 

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012
On 8/4/2018 at 3:32 AM, pigeonchicken said:

The idea of making out with someone though, I don't get it. It makes me uncomfortable.

When I was in college I broke up with a girl and one of the reasons was because she was always wanting to have these long make out sessions... and I didn't get it, I thought it was boring.

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Serran

Kissing no tongues I like. Kissing with tongues ew. 

 

And it can be sexual or not, depends on context. 

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RoonalWaslib

Closed mouth kissing-  

I’ve always thought of it as an innocent expression of affection.

I’d like to try it at least once.

 

Open mouth kissing-

WHY!? Who decided this was a good idea!?

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Midday.m

 

8 minutes ago, RoonalWaslib said:

Closed mouth kissing-  

I’ve always thought of it as an innocent expression of affection.

I’d like to try it at least once.

 

Open mouth kissing-

WHY!? Who decided this was a good idea!?

I agree,  close-mouthed pecks are great..... Saliva-swap? Uh-huh... 

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