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Personal and political views about sex


everywhere and nowhere

Personal and political views about sex  

154 members have voted

  1. 1. What POLITICAL stance about sex feels closest to you?

    • Sex-positive
      77
    • Sex-negative
      12
    • Other (sex-neutral, sex-critical...)
      65
  2. 2. What are your PERSONAL feelings about having sex?

    • Sex-favorable
      7
    • Sex-indifferent
      53
    • Sex-averse (negative feelings only about personally having sex)
      59
    • Sex-repulsed (generalised negative feelings about sex)
      35
  3. 3. Would you be willing to have sex?

    • Yes, in the right circumstances...
      36
    • I already do it
      10
    • Unsure
      21
    • I don't think so
      47
    • NO FRIGGIN' WAY!
      40
  4. 4. Would you be OK with never having sex ("again" if applicable)?

    • Yes
      142
    • No
      5
    • Unsure
      7

This poll is closed to new votes


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everywhere and nowhere

@GraceElizabeth created a similar topic in the "Questions about Asexuality" subforum. Following her advice and permission, I decided to refine and develop this poll. Also thanks to @Celyn for advice on another question.

Feel free to reflect on the intersection of these issues, such as: are aces more or less likely to be sex-positive or sex-negative? What about subsets of aces?

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i'm sex positive in general though personally indifferent

 

i don't think i'd be wlling to have sex but who knows, it wouldn't bother me if i didn't.

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Fantastic Name

Have all the sex you guys want; just don't do it with me.

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Grumpy Alien

Sex positive! Whatever someone chooses to do - have lots of sex, no sex, whatever they're into... that's up to consenting adults and totally fine.

I said sex favorable. I'm sexual.

I already do it. I'm sexually active.

I would be totally fine with never having sex again, given certain circumstances. I'm engaged and in a sexual relationship so if that suddenly changed, it would be incredibly emotionally difficult to alter the dynamics. But if I weren't in a relationship, I wouldn't desire sex and I think I would be fine dating someone not interested in sex as long as I knew that from the start.

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I've always been sex-positive. For the longest time, I used to be sex-repulsed/averse, but for several months now I've been more indifferent about it. I'd be willing to have sex, but only for someone that I'm extremely close to and care about. Would I be okay with never having sex, as of at this point and throughout my entire life, yes I would.

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1. Sex-positive, I guess. I think consenting adults should be able to do whatever sexual activities they want. It's not really any of my business.

2. Indifferent

3. Probably not. I'm arospec and not really interested in having a romantic partner right now, and I dislike the idea of having sex with those I am attracted to, so I can't really see myself in a situation where I would.

4. Yes

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  1. Other. I pretty much exist on a separate plane of reality from anything involving sex, so I'm not sure I even could have a stance.
  2. Sex-repulsed.
  3. NO FRIGGIN' WAY. Should be self-explanatory based on the previous answer. Combine with being aro/ace and there's literally no reason I would ever have sex, or even be in a situation where I would have to make a choice about it.
  4. Yes. Very self-explanatory based on the previous answer.
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shoshi coast

I feel like I should be sex-positive, but if I'm being completely honest with myself, I find myself disturbed by sexuality in general (even if it's entirely to do with other people and nothing to do with me). I know that's probably not pc and I for sure don't mean to put down people who are sexual, but it has a huge 'ick' factor for me, and it drives me crazy how I'm constantly confronted with sexual content in movies, books, advertising, conversation, etc. (I actually consume mostly children's media and non-fiction to avoid this! For tv/movies I watch disney/cartoons, for books I read mostly non-fiction.) I don't blame the world at large- obviously I am the atypical one and I don't expect the majority to conform to my tastes- but just being honest about my unfiltered reaction to sexuality. I am a bit curious if any others on the forum feel similarly, since I've seen a lot of people commenting about how they enjoy things like pornography and erotica... I don't like these things and wonder if that is common at all.

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1. Neutral

2. Indifferent

3. Yes, in the right circumstances(circumstances that I think probably have a 1% chance of happening...)

4. Yes

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Alejandrogynous

1. Positive

2. Adverse

3. Unsure. I'm not against compromise if I find someone worth compromising for... but as that's never happened, I can only say so in theory. 

4. Absolutely

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Anthracite_Impreza

1. I'm neutral, I don't think it should be encouraged or discouraged. People should be free to make up their own minds as to whether it's for them, without political agendas trying to sway them one way or the other. Education is important though, especially consent and safety, so I'm very much pro-sex ed.
2. Averse. You guys do what you want, but not near me and not involving me.
3. NOOOO.
4. YEEEES.

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divided_sky

1: Sex positive. None of my business what people do. Seems like people certainly enjoy it, so have fun! Stop having god damn kids that you can't take care of though

2: Indifferent. Not something that I think about, really ever. I'm not disgusted but I'm not interested either

3: Under the right circumstances, maybe... Really I would only do it for the sake of my partner. And I would probably be weird about it and turn them off anyway

4: No sex sounds great to me. i used to have some desire to try it just because. I felt like I may be missing out on some essential human experience. But I don't care anymore

 

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1. I'm very sex positive on an ideological level. I think we need to be more open about sexuality and educate people better, and not shame people for their sexual activity or lack thereof.

2. I'm indifferent. I've had sex for completely selfish reasons that had nothing to do with what I really wanted. It was more to enact the aforementioned ideological stance by assuming that such a progressive attitude towards how sex and sexuality were portrayed and accepted must be reflected in my actions as well. But I was just bored.

3. I'm a rather contrary person when it comes to personal suggestions, so if someone tried to have sex with me I might say no just out of spite. However, if I were in the mood to do something irrational and defiant towards sex negativity or shaming, I might have decide to have sex on a whim. It wouldn't be an expression of how I feel towards a person, though.

4. I'd be totes fine with that.

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everywhere and nowhere

So maybe I'll post my own answers as well since others are doing it...

1. Other - the term I consider closest to my stance is "sex-critical". If there is no such option in polls, I usually answer "sex-neutral" because I believe that sex has no intrinsic value outside of a context.

2. Sex-averse

3. NO FRIGGIN' WAY! - btw, I find an intensely negative response useful in showing that sex aversion is not necessarily mild. For me it involves a lot of fear, disgust and discomfort. I just don't identify as sex-repulsed because I have no such reactions to other people's sex, only to hypothetic sex acts involving myself. Heck, I can even watch gay porn, but the moment I try to imagine myself having sex - it feels scary and repulsive.

4. Yes - fairly self-explanatory based on the previous one, but I agree that it is a useful question, particularly for sex-indifferent people.

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I have a meh attitude toward sex. As it is, I have no need to incorporate my genitalia with another person's body for my own pleasure or benefit. I would be more than willing to do so for their pleasure and benefit.

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So far as other people are concerned, sex-positive, so far as I'm concerned sex-repulsed, 

I can't see myself ever having sex, but on the other hand "never say never" there's always the possibility that anyone could meet one person where all aromantic repulsed averse identities are rendered obsolete 

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everywhere and nowhere

Btw: I found something very close to my thoughts. I don't know how to link to this particular text because it has no header to click, so here's a link to the whole "asexuality" category. This particular post begins with the words: "Alright kids sit down, buckle up, it’s time for me to make a post I’ve been wanting to make for a while. So, sex-repulsion in the lgbt+ community".

Quote

If you are indeed sex-repulsed, it can be excruciating trying to find a space to detox and exist without feeling like you are somehow harming others in the process. It can be especially difficult if you are a member of the lgbt+ community, because rhetoric at the moment is practically filled with the uncritical sex-positivity that can feel incredibly alienating at best, and triggering at worst. Let’s specify what’s meant by ‘uncritical sex-positivity’. I’m talking about the posts I see, literally all the time, which depict sex as the best thing ever. (...)

There need to be spaces where people aren’t expected to be constantly and unambiguously positive about sex. There need to be places where there can be discussion about how sex can be damaging or dangerous to people’s mental health, there need to be places, even, where people can talk about how sex just doesn’t interest them, without it being seen as a failure on their part. Because at the moment, all I see is silence. And these are important discussions, because so many people are damaged by the idea that sex is always a good thing. Because it’s not. It’s neutral.

And more than anything else, this idea feeds directly into rape culture. Because if all sex is good, then why would anyone not want it? Why would anyone refuse? Especially if you base your self-worth on sex—someone not wanting to have sex with you makes you feel bad, and sex is good, so, really, they have to have sex with you. This idea is horribly, horribly toxic for reasons I hope I don’t need to explain. Not only does it harm sex-repulsed people, it harms everyone, because you don’t need a reason to say no to sex, but if sex is always good, then why would you? So, actually, you do need a reason. Or an explanation. Sometimes that explanation is just, ‘I don’t want it’ and a good person will accept that, but they’ll still expect you to explain, because sex is good. And not everyone accepts that explanation. Indeed, when asked for an explanation, sometimes the person who doesn’t want sex merely pushes their feelings of discomfort down, because they don’t really have a reason for not wanting it, so why shouldn’t they have it? All of this is very toxic and very, very easy to fall prey to with the current climate.

"Because if all sex is good, then why would anyone not want it?" - really, it struck me how this is the same what I have repeatedly said here...
 

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J. van Deijck

indifferent in general, personally fluctuating between slightly curious, indifferent and averse or even repulsed, I do it since I'm in a relationship and I want to make him happy and I love only him, and I would be 100% fine if I never had sex again. 

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On 8/1/2018 at 2:09 PM, Fantastic Name said:

Have all the sex you guys want; just don't do it with me.

Exactly my thoughts.

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1. Positive - people should be able to have as much or as little sex as makes them happy, without being shamed or judged for it. 

2. Averse. I don't enjoy having or seeing it, but I'm not outright repulsed by any mention of it.

3. I don't think so - I don't particularly enjoy it, and I've had a lot of bad experiences (and a couple of outright traumatic ones), but for me there's too many variables to outright say never again.

4. That sounds ideal to me.

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OmegaTheMetamorphicDreamer

1. Other - I don't really have any stance on political subjects.

2. Repulsed

3. NEVER!

4. Most definitely 

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I'm sex neutral. Like I'm indifferent and good at faking and adapting that I'm a sexual. Personally I don't think I'll have sex cause honestly it's so much work.

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I don't exactly get what a "political stance" is supposed to be here.

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SpookyNameHere

1. Neutral. I don't care if other people wanna do it, but please leave me out of it. 

 

2. I range from averse to repulsed depending on the situation. 

 

3. I honestly can't imagine a situation where I'd ever willingly wanna do it, but never say never, I guess. 

 

4. Never had it, don't want to. 

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cavalier080854

Keep politics out of the bedroom

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everywhere and nowhere
1 hour ago, cavalier080854 said:

Keep politics out of the bedroom

Personal is political. :D

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1. Sex positive
2. Sex-averse
3. Unsure
4. Yes

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1. Hard to say. I mean I don't care what two or more people feel like doing in the bedroom together. But sometimes I'm critical of it. Marketing's ruined sex in my eyes. And through an extension of that, partially sabotaged current day relationships and interactions with people as a whole. Although I suppose sex isn't inherently to blame for that. It's the marketing after all.

 

2. Never had sex so I can't say.

 

3. Maybe. I'd have to meet the right person again though, I think.

 

4. I'm probably going to die on my own so yeah. Wouldn't mind.

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Fluffy Femme Guy

1. Neutral , I'm neither a fan of everything being super-sexualised, but I'm also not a fan of scrubbing the sexuality out of everything either.
Good sex-ed is important, I want people to make better informed decisions about sex.

2. A mix of averse and repulsed.

3. Not entirely impossible but highly unlikely.

4. Yes

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