What do I do if I have a crush on my Asexual friend?

[RavenMoon]

I'm not actually Asexual. I joined this site for my friend, but now I don't know what to do. I am homosexual, and I now have a crush on my best friend. We've been friends for a while, and she's awesome, sweet, pretty, and funny. But, I'm moving across the country soon, and I want to come clean. But I don't know if I should BECAUSE she's Asexual/Aromantic. I just would like your guys advice.

[Guest]

Well you probably should ask if she's aromantic, asexual, or both. I'mma be honest, if you're moving across the country, a relationship wouldn't be ideal. Even if she is aro or aro-ace, you can still tell her but it might make her uncomfortable, which keep in mind, is an understandable reaction. If she's just asexual, then there's a chance she could have a crush on you too, but once again, long distance is difficult. You might just wanna remain friends. Just tell her if you want to and feel comfortable. Sorry if this isn't helpful.

[Mr. Quickhands]

Disclaimer: this is my opinion on the limits of how you can approach this, and has no bearing on whatever your friend is thinking.

 

Honestly, as long as you know you won't be weird about it in the likely case that you're rejected (sounds like she's said that she's aromantic), cause as much trouble as you like . Just don't be a dick about it, i.e. acknowledge that she's said that she's aromantic and don't put a burden of reciprocation on it. Maybe you can get a fun date; some aromantics like acting that kinda thing out, and you never know, the fact that you're leaving may even be a relief of pressure for her. You're likely not to get a full blown romantic relationship, so check your expectations at the door and just chill.

 

Don't be passive, but don't force the action. Have a purpose, keep it simple, but read the feedback you're getting and be ready to adjust or cancel accordingly. Same way you'd approach anyone.

[th-emptyhearse]

I'd say, if you don't think she would be uncomfortable with it, go for the grand exit if you like. Just don't expect anything to come out of it. And maybe consider how much you value the nature of your friendship as it is.

[Karst]

Just tell her what you feel, but be polite and respectful if she turns you down.

You can value a person as a friend as much as you would in a romantic way. Getting "friendzoned" (gah, I hate that word) doesn't mean that she's looking down on you.

[TheAP]

Moved from Questions about Asexuality to For Sexual Partners, Friends and Allies.

 

TheAP

Questions about Asexuality co-mod