mreid

Question to allosexuals about masturbation

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mreid

When you masturbate, do you need any external source of arousal to do it?

Can you for example, think of absolutely nothing, watch no porn or anything, and not be previously aroused from some situation or person?

 

Also, on average how long do you take to finish?

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Graceful

I don’t really masturbate by myself. It doesn’t do anything for me. I’ve tried porn but meh it’s usually just weird. I rarely ever orgasm and definitely not by myself. While not unheard of at all, I’m probably not the stereotype of a heterosexual in that sense. Pretty much only my partner is able to get me aroused and it takes a lot of work and luck for me to finish.

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Serran

I am some where around sexual, though odd in what I like. 

 

I can only masturbate to thoughts of my partner. If I try to do it to anything else, it doesnt work and feels weird, rather than good. Porn is 100% out, other people dont do it for me. 

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CBC
On 7/24/2018 at 12:13 AM, mreid said:

When you masturbate, do you need any external source of arousal to do it?

Need? No. But interaction with my (long distance) partner certainly helps with being in the right mental space. It's not necessary but it, uh, improves the situation haha. I don't really watch porn or read erotica or whatever, so it's either interaction or just nothing external. Truthfully though, it's not something I bother with too often.

 

On 7/24/2018 at 12:13 AM, mreid said:

Also, on average how long do you take to finish?

Like 2-3 minutes maybe? It blows my mind when I hear other women say it takes them 20 mins or whatever. I'd literally never bother if that was the case.

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CBC

Dudes that take an hour? Eeps. But yeah, like I say, I legit would not bother. I can't fathom spending an hour of my time masturbating. If I'm putting that sort of commitment into something sexual, it better be actual sex hahaha. :mellow: 

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georgina4

im not allo but would literally go insane if i didnt hah 

i dont watch porn bc i feel weird about it and idk if i really am into the actual event of sex (i think the feeling is all i really want if that makes sense. still technically a virgin but like sex would be so icky?) and i feel uncomfortable thinking about a person so i guess i just focus on the feeling but that might just be me? i really dont know haha

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dianazryn

when I masturbate, I cannot imagine anyone, and especially my partner! (even though our emotional bond is very strong)

the few times I caught myself imagining a person during the process were when I did it after staring at photos of Stephane Lambiel or Bryan Dechart for hours beforehand 😂🙃 BUT I didn't do it on purpose! I only please myself after a very rough week/day while taking a shower before going to bed, and sometimes I cannot help not admiring my idols in the daytime 😅

I used to watch porn, but it doesn't affect me in any way so I don't watch it now because what's the point in it for me then? though it was fun to watch some kinky stuff lol

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dianazryn
12 hours ago, mreid said:

I find Bryan Dechart to be very attractive (who doesn't ahaha) but when I masturbate if people I find attractive casually pop up in my mind it just turns me off. Normally I just think about things I'd normally think about when I am not doing anything, or nothing at all.

Actually I think I never felt like masturbating to people I find attractive.

well, only his beautiful face poped up in my mind (I guess it most likely happens when I feel very lonely 😶), but when I out of curiosity tried to imagine the whole person or imagine like he is with me in that moment, I cannot continue (basically it also turns me off)

I remember how I tried to imagine my crushes during puberty and it just never worked out for me

I masturbate only to unwind, so for me the process kinda became almost automatic

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FictoCannibal.
On 7/26/2018 at 5:37 AM, CBC said:

Dudes that take an hour? Eeps. But yeah, like I say, I legit would not bother. I can't fathom spending an hour of my time masturbating. If I'm putting that sort of commitment into something sexual, it better be actual sex hahaha. :mellow: 

Never in my whole life have I had sex with a man who takes an hour, and I have made more men cum than most people ever will, lol. Sorry for the necrothread but I saw that comment about dudes taking an hour.. and just nope. My ex would take about 40 mins but that's because he would intentionally drag it out as long as he could, then he'd start again after an hour or so. But yeah, even the really old guys I've had to be with didn't take an hour to cum.

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Nowhere Girl
On 7/24/2018 at 11:26 AM, CBC said:

Like 2-3 minutes maybe? It blows my mind when I hear other women say it takes them 20 mins or whatever. I'd literally never bother if that was the case.

It blows my mind when I hear that for other women it takes about 20 minutes because for me it's very little... I typically need about an hour.

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CBC
On 9/14/2018 at 2:10 PM, Nowhere Girl said:

It blows my mind when I hear that for other women it takes about 20 minutes because for me it's very little... I typically need about an hour.

Wow, I... huh. Yeah I would never bother if it took an hour. I want to ask what one has to do for a whole hour haha, but then that seems a little personal...

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FictoCannibal.
3 hours ago, CBC said:

Wow, I... huh. Yeah I would never bother if it took an hour. I want to ask what one has to do for a whole hour haha, but then that seems a little personal...

I want to ask as well.. like, does that also include the slow warm up to arousal? Or is it solid masturbation from start to finish? (You don't have to answer @Nowhere Girl, I'm just speaking my thoughts out loud!). I also would absolutely not bother if it took that long, I have more enjoyable things I could be doing like watching Sherlock or doing some narration or something ^_^

 

On 7/24/2018 at 4:13 PM, mreid said:

When you masturbate, do you need any external source of arousal to do it?

Can you for example, think of absolutely nothing, watch no porn or anything, and not be previously aroused from some situation or person?

 

Also, on average how long do you take to finish?

But yeah, regarding the opening question, I can't watch or listen to anything, just use thoughts (usually involving extremely taboo topics, extreme violence, rape, etc etc) but I certainly couldn't finish without the thoughts. I just don't need anything external and would be actively turned off if I tried to look at something else while doing it. 

 

And arousal isn't ever something I can induce.. No specific thought or image or anything, nor any type of touch, can *make* me aroused. I just get aroused hormonally, it happens on its own, and when it does I get rid of it as fast as possible so I can get on with my day. 

 

For me it takes about 30 seconds to 4 minutes, from start to finish.

 

I'm not a huge fan of masturbation (can't even feel it unless I use a towel) but it's the only way for me to get rid of arousal so I just do it quickly for that reason. I see it more as like, urination - you do it because you have to, so you can get rid of an annoying feeling!! 😛

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Serran
3 hours ago, CBC said:

Wow, I... huh. Yeah I would never bother if it took an hour. I want to ask what one has to do for a whole hour haha, but then that seems a little personal...

Yeah... if it took an hour I would never do that. O.o 

 

For me it takes like 5-10 minutes. If its any longer than that Im just like OK, not enough emotional stimulation for this to work. 

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CBC
13 minutes ago, Serran said:

Yeah... if it took an hour I would never do that. O.o 

 

For me it takes like 5-10 minutes. If its any longer than that Im just like OK, not enough emotional stimulation for this to work. 

Same. It's maybe five minutes max for me if I'm uhhh... starting from zero, haha... and honestly if I'm interacting with my partner beforehand, I'm mentally and physically most of the way there before even doing anything. Takes like 30 seconds to a minute. I've joked that I'm "easy"... :ph34r:

 

Truthfully it's not something I bother with too much if I'm not connected with someone romantically/sexually, though. I have a very low (close to non-existent) libido without a connection to someone, and probably a fairly average one when there is someone. My sexual desire is definitely of the responsive variety; I can do a pretty good interpretation of an asexual otherwise haha. (But am most definitely not ace!)

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Serran

Yeah. Without my partner, I dont masturbate at all and never wanna...

 

But me and my partner dont interact sexually when she isnt here, so i always start from zero, so to speak. But thinking of her works. Though, my libido is dying off a bit lately, due to an incompatibility between us we cant do much more than just accept. So, I might go back to not doing it at all sometime. 

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Alejandrogynous

I mean, I'll masturbate for an hour but that's only if I'm taking my time with it, usually multitasking, and will have at least three orgasms in that time period. If I need a wham-bam release, it'll be 3-5 minutes at most.

 

I'm asexual though so I can't answer the main thread questions.

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Serran
1 hour ago, Alejandrogynous said:

I mean, I'll masturbate for an hour but that's only if I'm taking my time with it, usually multitasking, and will have at least three orgasms in that time period. If I need a wham-bam release, it'll be 3-5 minutes at most.

 

I'm asexual though so I can't answer the main thread questions.

Multitasking ?

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Alejandrogynous
1 hour ago, Serran said:

Multitasking ?

Like watching TV or surfing the web or whatever at the same time, so masturbating but not entirely focused on it.

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Serran
17 minutes ago, Alejandrogynous said:

Like watching TV or surfing the web or whatever at the same time, so masturbating but not entirely focused on it.

O.o I couldnt do that. Lol I have to focus hard on the proper emotions and any distraction from that would ruin it 

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Scooty
25 minutes ago, Alejandrogynous said:

Like watching TV or surfing the web or whatever at the same time, so masturbating but not entirely focused on it.

That's some serious skill.

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Alejandrogynous
39 minutes ago, Serran said:

O.o I couldnt do that. Lol I have to focus hard on the proper emotions and any distraction from that would ruin it 

Hah, maybe it's weird that I do this? I never really thought about it. There's not really an emotional element to it like that, just the physical sensations that feel good. I guess kinda like.. I dunno, getting a massage while you watch TV? Ignoring that you typically need another person in order to get a massage. It just feels nice and every now and then you're like okay, orgasm would be nice now, so you focus for a few minutes and afterwards go back to whatever you were doing/watching. *shrugs* I have a really high libido though.

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Nowhere Girl

Well, details would be too personal, but I'm honestly unable to reach an orgasm quickly.

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Serran
10 hours ago, Alejandrogynous said:

Hah, maybe it's weird that I do this? I never really thought about it. There's not really an emotional element to it like that, just the physical sensations that feel good. I guess kinda like.. I dunno, getting a massage while you watch TV? Ignoring that you typically need another person in order to get a massage. It just feels nice and every now and then you're like okay, orgasm would be nice now, so you focus for a few minutes and afterwards go back to whatever you were doing/watching. *shrugs* I have a really high libido though.

Well. Im not "normal", since my libido is fully tied to my partner - 30 years had none, felt something for them now have a little. So, anything that makes me not think of them would not work. Which is why porn and stuff cant work, its not my partner so its a turn off and makes orgasm impossible. 

 

But, yeah seems a bit unusual to do that while watching TV. But, I guess its good it doesnt take you away from a netflix binge if you are doing it :D

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CBC
On 9/16/2018 at 8:28 AM, Nowhere Girl said:

Well, details would be too personal, but I'm honestly unable to reach an orgasm quickly.

Fair enough, bodies are different for sure.

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uhtred

I could get myself off without fantasy or external stimulation but its boring to do so.  Takes a few minutes in general - even with external things its still completely boring relative to partner sex - just a way to deal with a basic need. 

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