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Just a couple of questions


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Conie Steland

1. I dont know if this is a dumb question or not but figured it couldn't hurt to ask.  So, can someone be both asexual and gay or straight?  Like, be asexual but prefer one sex over the other for relationships?  (Dunno if that makes sense or not)

2. So I sw a video recently on actually and the speaker said that asexuals basically don't find anyone hot. Is that really true?  Because i'm pretty sure i'm sexual, but I still find guys hot (I just have no desire to have sex with them)  so if I still think guys are hot does that mean i'm not asexual?

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Just Somebody

1 There's different  kinds of attraction, sexual attraction which is the one that aces don't feel, is one of those,  the others being: aesthetic,  sensual, romantic,  alterous,  platonic,  queerplatonic, and amouralterous attractions.

Yeah... just bc your asexual for your sexual orientation, that doesn't mean you can't  be hetero or gay for any other of the orientation types mentioned above.

Pretty sure aces can't be called "straight" as usually it's a word referred to people who are both  heterosexual and heteroromantic.

Also Yeah , if you're a polyromantic asexual,  it's very common to find persons with a certain gender identity more attractive than the other persons with other gender identities .

 

2 maybe what you feel for these guys is aesthetic attraction. And no... your aesthetic orientation doesn't have to match your sexual orientation, so yeah, you can still be ace.

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Don't worry that's not a dumb question at all. You can still have a romantic preference if you're asexual. For example hetero-romantic or homo-romantic, etc. You can still experience romantic attraction towards a specific gender or person without sexual attraction.

 

You can still be aesthetically attracted to people. Meaning you are attracted to their looks but have no interest in anything sexual or romantic.

 

btw nice pfp ^-^

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Yes to the first, no to the second. You can be asexual but heteroromantic, homoromantic, etc., meaning that you feel romantic attraction but not sexual attraction towards certain individuals. I am asexual but "straight" in that I'm romantically attracted to men still.

 

As for the second bit, asexual people still definitely find some people aesthetically attractive. I still very much have a physical type and I know when someone is hot. I just... don't want to do anything with them but maybe cuddle a little.

 

Asexuality is just a lack of desire to have sex with someone. And while I'm at it, lemme address some common misconceptions by clarifying that you can still become aroused while asexual, that you can have sex and still be asexual, masturbate (and enjoy it) and still be asexual. But if you could go your whole life and never want to have sex, you're probably asexual.

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Someone Else

I didn't know I was asexual for most of my life, because, (I think) I feel about women almost the same as any other straight guy would. I'm not interested at all in anyone's genitals (mine or others), so, no interest in sex.  But otherwise, probably much the same as other guys, enough that it took me a while to understand that I didn't want go "go all the way," and never would, regardless of any physical or emotional attraction.

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1 hour ago, Conie Steland said:

2. So I sw a video recently on actually and the speaker said that asexuals basically don't find anyone hot. Is that really true?  Because i'm pretty sure i'm sexual, but I still find guys hot (I just have no desire to have sex with them)  so if I still think guys are hot does that mean i'm not asexual?

Your definition of "hot" may be different from most people's. I think most people (especially sexual people) use "hot" to mean "sexually attractive," so ace people don't find anyone hot by that definition. However, you might use "hot" to mean "aesthetically attractive." I know sometimes I find people so aesthetically attractive (and sometimes romantically and/or sensually attractive) that pretty/beautiful/handsome/etc. doesn't feel accurate, and hot seems like the word that best describes my attraction to them. But instead of wanting to have sex with them, I just want to look at them and touch them non-sexually (kiss, cuddle, run my fingers through their hair, that kind of thing).

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Someone Else

I think asexuals can be attracted to people almost like anyone else, sometimes.  It's just that the attraction doesn't want to lead to sex, but it still exists, just with a different "end game." 

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Asexuals can feel romantic attraction, just not sexual. You can be any romantic orientation and still be ace.

 

I dunno about other aces but I find people hot but not hot in a sexual way.

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Yes, you can.  I am asexual but definitely heteroasexual -- I feel romantic towards males.  

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blunose2772

 There are no dumb questions.

 

You can be gay straight or bi and still be asexual. When first learning about Asexuality I ran across many videos on dating Asexuals. Like everything else it varies from person to person.

 

I find people to be hot and I'm asexual. There's nothing against appreciating beauty. Asexuality is about what you want in a relationship with someone

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I am gray-asexual, and I still consider myself straight. Like 100% straight and also 100% grace.

 

Does that make sense? It does to me but I don't know...

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Conie Steland

Thanks for all the responses, guys!! They really do help me out!

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