deleted.profile Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 I don't know how to talk about my sexuality. I've mentioned it once to my family, and none of my friends know. I want to talk about it, talk through it, but I feel too anxious to. I feel as though if I were to start a conversation about it with anyone that it would be too strange for casual conversation. Sexuality isn't generally something you talk about over brunch, is it? I want somewhere to vent and discuss but I also feel weird about writing all of my thoughts on the internet, even though this account it anonymous!!! I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish with this rant, I guess I'm forcing myself to feel more comfortable talking here? I know it's a safe space and I know that talking is good for me, but I still feel strange doing it. I guess I'll turn it to you guys then. Have you ever felt comfortable discussing your sexuality? How did you get to that point? (Any advice?) Also, just in case someone noticed, this was in my status at first but I feel like it's easier to have it as a topic. Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 Well, here you're going to find a lot of people who feel the same as you, so this is the place to do it. But no, I don't suddenly just talk about my sexuality over lunch or anything. I don't really normally tell anyone in person unless they have a need to know, like a potential relationship partner, or if I know they're already asexual like so many here. There's not going to be much common ground to discuss with sexual people, I've found. Link to post Share on other sites
Just Somebody Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 I still believe you should vent to a therapist, I mean you're already doing that to annonymous weirdos at the Internet anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
deleted.profile Posted July 22, 2018 Author Share Posted July 22, 2018 Well, venting was the wrong word. I guess what I'm trying to say is I want to openly discuss myself and my current feelings (and how they relate to asexuality) because it's a fairly new identity for me. It's like that feeling when you've just watched this incredible show and you really want to talk to someone about it, but you can't just burst out saying "HERE'S ALL MY THEORIES ABOUT THIS SHOW" because then you have to explain it first and you don't even know if they'll understand, agree, let alone like what you're saying. And, to build AVEN into this, you're unsure about talking to the fandom of the show because you haven't really been in a fandom before and they seem like they know so much already that it's a tiny bit intimidating. It just feels so complicated. I guess maybe I should see a therapist 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
AcornCarvings Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 I talk to people pretty frequently about sexuality and gender and how I view relationships and stuff. I like to think I am pretty comfortable with it by now. I used to be terrified to talk about it, but I met some people who talk about that sort of stuff all the time, and I guess I got used to it. Now I talk about it fairly regularly to people that I trust. It helps that one of my friends at school always ends up staying up until 3 with me... 1-2am is prime time for deep talks (I actually went on the radio station at my school once and broadcast that stuff out to who knows who once ) Link to post Share on other sites
Just Somebody Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 14 minutes ago, annon.ace said: Well, venting was the wrong word. I guess what I'm trying to say is I want to openly discuss myself and my current feelings (and how they relate to asexuality) because it's a fairly new identity for me. It's like that feeling when you've just watched this incredible show and you really want to talk to someone about it, but you can't just burst out saying "HERE'S ALL MY THEORIES ABOUT THIS SHOW" because then you have to explain it first and you don't even know if they'll understand, agree, let alone like what you're saying. And, to build AVEN into this, you're unsure about talking to the fandom of the show because you haven't really been in a fandom before and they seem like they know so much already that it's a tiny bit intimidating. It just feels so complicated. I guess maybe I should see a therapist 😂 Well, I understand that feel I just did it about the book I was reading. Lol Anyway , forget the therapist , they probably don't know what asexuality is like 99% of people. Enjoy aven. Link to post Share on other sites
RosePhoenix Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 I've not yet told anyone about my asexuality, too uncomfortable with the idea. I really wish I could talk to it with some of my friends but I am not sure I trust their reactions or them "getting it" . I'm game for some venting and discussion! I joined aven because I wanted to be able to talk about it. Also, Hi fellow Canadian!! Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Fox Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 4 hours ago, annon.ace said: Well, venting was the wrong word. I guess what I'm trying to say is I want to openly discuss myself and my current feelings (and how they relate to asexuality) because it's a fairly new identity for me. It's like that feeling when you've just watched this incredible show and you really want to talk to someone about it, but you can't just burst out saying "HERE'S ALL MY THEORIES ABOUT THIS SHOW" because then you have to explain it first and you don't even know if they'll understand, agree, let alone like what you're saying. And, to build AVEN into this, you're unsure about talking to the fandom of the show because you haven't really been in a fandom before and they seem like they know so much already that it's a tiny bit intimidating. It just feels so complicated. I guess maybe I should see a therapist 😂 I felt exactly the same and I still do feel a bit out of my depth but I've gotten a little more used to expressing it in the past few months. To build on your fandom example, I spent a bit of time exploring the fandom and reading other people's theories and finding a lot that I agree with. The like-mindedness is what made me more confident. Now I'm able to talk about it with people outside the fandom because hey, I'm not the only one with this theory! Maybe, in time, you'll feel the same. But there's no rush! Enjoy AVEN.😁 Link to post Share on other sites
cubetoasty Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 I've told maybe fix or six of my friends? I've never had a big "coming out" moment; I just dropped it casually in conversation like I'm commenting about the weather. They've all been cool. I totally get why you're nervous (I was nervous, too) but in the end, you know your friends. You can predict pretty well how they'll react. If you think they'll be cool and it would make you feel better to talk to someone about it, maybe consider taking the chance. Link to post Share on other sites
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