LittleJ Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 So I don’t know how to explain well but I wanna know if other people feel like this. Whenever I look in the mirror without a shirt I feel weird like it doesn’t look right for breasts to be there (I’m afab). I know that might be kind of like dysphoria or dysmorphia? Anyway ive never liked my body I really haven’t. I started puberty and I just didnt look in mirrors because I didn’t like myself. So I don’t know if seeing me with breasts looks weird and wrong because I haven’t looked in the mirror since after they started growing so they’re kind of suddenly there and I’m not used to it or if it’s because I want to have a mans chest and if it’s like dysphoria. When I was younger I always wanted to be a gay guy like I just thought it was easier and that I’d like it but I didn’t feel like a boy and I didn’t feel like a girl. I just want to know how I can tell if I’m feeling negative towards my breasts because of something to do with gender or because i’ve managed to completely ignore them for years. Wasn’t just by breast I also realised that I still had freckles from when I was like 6, I never looked in the mirror much so I thought theyd magically dissolved 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 I despise them, I hope one day to get them chopped off. It's both gender and sensory related for me, and they just shouldn't be there. Link to post Share on other sites
AcornCarvings Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 Yeah I feel that way often with my chest... often more when I have a shirt on or a bra. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleJ Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 8 minutes ago, AcornCarvings said: Yeah I feel that way often with my chest... often more when I have a shirt on or a bra. I feel like I can ignore it most of the time if I have a shirt and I wear baggy clothes and hoodies so I feel like I can make myself forget they’re there. But other times I can’t and i’ve tried using a sports bra to see if that makes me feel better but I don’t feel it does anything different so I don’t know Link to post Share on other sites
ShyFeather Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 You're not alone. I hated my breasts since puberty and always had a running joke with my sister that I would donate my breasts to her if I could. I really want top surgery but don't know if I'll ever be able to afford it. Link to post Share on other sites
south paw Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 I'm just realizing how funny it was for me. As a little girl, I really wanted boobs so that I could be like all of the other bigger girls. Now that I have them, I wish I could go back to being my prepubescent self {body wise}. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleJ Posted July 22, 2018 Author Share Posted July 22, 2018 15 hours ago, Starbucks Covfefe said: I'm just realizing how funny it was for me. As a little girl, I really wanted boobs so that I could be like all of the other bigger girls. Now that I have them, I wish I could go back to being my prepubescent self {body wise}. YES I WAS EXACTLY LIKE THAT!!! All my friends had boobs and I was late to puberty so I had nothing or small ones and I wanted to fit in so I wanted bigger boobs. Regret that now 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
Salmiakki Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 I hate them so much. Luckily they're not that big but I'd much prefer if they weren't there at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 Yeah I'm really not a fan. I'm a cis female, and sexual, but I mostly hate them. Always have. Ties in with some pretty deep-seated body and sensory stuff, and a strong aversion to attention from men (I'm gay). I've had an eating disorder for over 18 years and am likely on the autism spectrum (what used to be called Asperger's; still waiting on the results of my assessment). Very weirdly, openly acknowledging my sexuality (I used to think I was bi and ace, that's why I'm here) and also having had experience with a partner expressing appreciation for my body, and not being repulsed by that like I would be with a dude, has made me hate my boobs a little less. I mean, thankfully they're super small... I never bother wearing a bra, they're like A or AA or whatever... so at leasy there's that. Big boobs would cause me so much distress, I don't even want to think about it because it would make me so mentally uncomfortable. Ugh. I've no problem with others' boobs though, being gay and all haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 I can't decide how I feel about said aspect of my body. Mostly I don't mind them, but sometimes they're just... in the way. Link to post Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨ Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 @Starbucks Covfefe @LittleJ Me. Me ALL THE THE WAY. Like, it was back in high school and a close friend of mine made a harmless little joke about me not having cleavage like our other friend (I was pretty flat). We all thought it was funny, but a small part of me got super insecure about it because I was a closeted asexual and didn’t know it and was developing late, so I just wanted to be “normal” like the rest of my classmates. But after I got them, they kept growing to the point where my Mom couldn’t believe when I told her I needed to go up a couple bra sizes (semi-joking she had to pay to get what I got naturally). 😆 That’s when I had these fleeting little moments where I thought about cosmetic surgery. I thought, if women like my Mom could go up in size, maybe I could go down in size. I was (and still am) a D cup, but thought that maybe someday I could get breast reduction surgery, and downgrade to an A cup, though I wasn’t sure why I wanted that, I just went with it. Figured it seemed practical, and easier to deal with in terms of physical navigation in my day to day + asexual, and didn’t really “need” them, so to speak. Now that I’m more fully aware of my ever-changing gender identity, I debate on breast reduction as I have researched that it affects the results of top surgery, and I’d like to keep that as an option if I ever really, REALLY want it. But I got to say, as much as I enjoy doing it, binding as a D cup is a bitch. 🙄 Definitely wish I was an A cup again. More versatile. Feeling extra feminine? Push up bra. Feeling masculine/neutral? Binder (but easier). Link to post Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨ Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 10 hours ago, CBC said: Yeah I'm really not a fan. I'm a cis female, and sexual, but I mostly hate them. Always have. Ties in with some pretty deep-seated body and sensory stuff, and a strong aversion to attention from men (I'm gay). I've had an eating disorder for over 18 years and am likely on the autism spectrum (what used to be called Asperger's; still waiting on the results of my assessment). Very weirdly, openly acknowledging my sexuality (I used to think I was bi and ace, that's why I'm here) and also having had experience with a partner expressing appreciation for my body, and not being repulsed by that like I would be with a dude, has made me hate my boobs a little less. I mean, thankfully they're super small... I never bother wearing a bra, they're like A or AA or whatever... so at leasy there's that. Big boobs would cause me so much distress, I don't even want to think about it because it would make me so mentally uncomfortable. Ugh. I've no problem with others' boobs though, being gay and all haha. Hmm, interesting getting a cissexual perspective on chest size. I just kind of thought most cis women were cool with their chest. I mean, there’s inconveniences sure, but they don’t hate them or want to be without them. Cool to learn that cis women can want to be flat/small chested too. I’m not cis, but I do feel you on the not wanting male attention. But not just because I’m aro ace, but also because it feels distressingly reductive. Binding helps me feel a bit more human and less like “girl-esque object”. And you’re right: As a natural D-cup, I can safely say that having big boobs are overrated. Without a doubt. 0/10 would not do again. 🤣 Link to post Share on other sites
White Raven Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 I don't wish mine away but I do wish they weren't as big as they are! 😫 Being a G cup is really annoying because my bras are super expensive. And even when I lose weight I only go down to a F cup which I find crazy. Like just shrink up a little more please. I don't like all the eyes on my chest and everything else that comes with being big! Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 1 hour ago, Pixley said: Hmm, interesting getting a cissexual perspective on chest size. I just kind of thought most cis women were cool with their chest. I mean, there’s inconveniences sure, but they don’t hate them or want to be without them. Nope, we aren't all cool with it. Body issues an lead to lots of... fucked up stuff. I also have a major phobia/repulsion surrounding reproduction/pregnancy and find my period horrifying (I lost it for over seven years when I was younger due to malnutrition because of my eating disorder, and have osteoporosis as a result) and have wanted an elective hysterectomy just to not have... those parts. If I had a choice between having boobs and having no boobs, I'd choose no boobs. I find the idea of myself having adult female sexual characteristics very uncomfortable. Of course, I'm not your typical cisgender or sexual person by any means. I don't like the idea of being a woman even though I don't identify any other way. I don't know a whole lot of girls/women who feel like I do. The ones who do, honestly most of them have mental health issues (as do I, by the bucketload) or perhaps have had very negative and unwanted experiences with other people in regards to their body. Link to post Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨ Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 52 minutes ago, White Raven said: I don't like all the eyes on my chest and everything else that comes with being big! I feel that. For the longest time, I HATED wearing tank tops/plunging necklines because I felt like I was putting myself on display. Too revealing and triggered my Social Anxiety like a motherf**ker. 37 minutes ago, CBC said: Nope, we aren't all cool with it. Body issues an lead to lots of... fucked up stuff. I also have a major phobia/repulsion surrounding reproduction/pregnancy and find my period horrifying (I lost it for over seven years when I was younger due to malnutrition because of my eating disorder, and have osteoporosis as a result) and have wanted an elective hysterectomy just to not have... those parts. If I had a choice between having boobs and having no boobs, I'd choose no boobs. I find the idea of myself having adult female sexual characteristics very uncomfortable. Of course, I'm not your typical cisgender or sexual person by any means. I don't like the idea of being a woman even though I don't identify any other way. I don't know a whole lot of girls/women who feel like I do. The ones who do, honestly most of them have mental health issues (as do I, by the bucketload) or perhaps have had very negative and unwanted experiences with other people in regards to their body. Well, thank you for opening up and sharing that with me. 😊 I have mental health issues too (Anxiety, Depression, OCD) plus being bullied, I had body image issues for a long time, because being somewhat overweight, everyone (including family) were making me feel ugly and totally worthless as a human being. Lost weight last year due to IBS-induced anorexia (too afraid to eat more than once a day because I wanted to avoid/reduce the extremely painful flare ups I was having) so even though I’m skinny now, I still get insecure sometimes, fearing that I’ll put the weight back on and return to that “I don’t like this version of me b/c it’s ugly” state of mind. Which is something I hate fearing because it’s makes me feel so superficial and hypocritical for being body-positive with everyone on Earth except myself. And it makes me want to eat less just to maintain my figure, which would be stupid since I’m iron-deficient anemic and am already prone to lightheadedness and fatigue. So yeah, I understand how mental health issues can screw with self-perception. And I didn’t and still kind of don’t like identifying as “woman” either. Girl or female, sure. But that’s as comfortable as I’m identifying with femininity But definitely not woman, don’t like the expectations/assumptions that come with it. Link to post Share on other sites
White Raven Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 3 minutes ago, Pixley said: I feel that. For the longest time, I HATED wearing tank tops/plunging necklines because I felt like I was putting myself on display. Too revealing and triggered my Social Anxiety like a motherf**ker. I'm okay with tanks as long as their not v-neck. Everything has to be scoop neck on me or non-plunging. I have a social anxiety issue as well even though everyone says I'm super outgoing.(It's super exhausting being super outgoing when your socially anxious.) Link to post Share on other sites
Hayis4horses Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 On 7/21/2018 at 8:15 AM, LittleJ said: Whenever I look in the mirror without a shirt I feel weird like it doesn’t look right for breasts to be there (I’m afab). Yup. Like, why are you here to bother me? Even with a shirt, maybe even more with a shirt (idk why), they frustrate me. They get in the way. They are uncomfortable to have. I wish I was flat chested. I wear baggy clothes (especially baggy tops) all the time, but it doesn't make me look like I am flat chested since I have D cups. I also slouch, and I think it might be because I am trying to make my chest appear smaller. But, I don't want to bind because of all of the risks. And when I'm older I don't like the thought of surgery because it will be painful. So, I guess I will continue to live life wishing that I had been born with a chest like Amber Liu. Spoiler Link to post Share on other sites
ExquisiteMystery Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 I'm thinking about gender myself, atm. But currently ID as female. Breasts definitely can suck (especially bigger than B cup). I agree that they affect your posture (they are really pretty heavy/dense), and have also joked about donating them to friends who wanted more/larger ones. I guess I enjoy them, when I touch them. And they have functional value as lymph fluid reservoirs. I dislike the hormonal weird pains, and definitely dislike how men stare at them. But contrastingly, I feel like some fashions do fit/look better with breasts. I suppose I am hoping that gender blended fashions become the norm, so we can all do as we please. Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 On 7/21/2018 at 5:15 PM, LittleJ said: So I don’t know how to explain well but I wanna know if other people feel like this. Whenever I look in the mirror without a shirt I feel weird like it doesn’t look right for breasts to be there (I’m afab). I know that might be kind of like dysphoria or dysmorphia? Anyway ive never liked my body I really haven’t. I started puberty and I just didnt look in mirrors because I didn’t like myself. So I don’t know if seeing me with breasts looks weird and wrong because I haven’t looked in the mirror since after they started growing so they’re kind of suddenly there and I’m not used to it or if it’s because I want to have a mans chest and if it’s like dysphoria. When I was younger I always wanted to be a gay guy like I just thought it was easier and that I’d like it but I didn’t feel like a boy and I didn’t feel like a girl. I just want to know how I can tell if I’m feeling negative towards my breasts because of something to do with gender or because i’ve managed to completely ignore them for years. Wasn’t just by breast I also realised that I still had freckles from when I was like 6, I never looked in the mirror much so I thought theyd magically dissolved 😂 So you want a male chest. Unusual, but understandable. With gender, there is no second meaning, really. If we are talking about purely physical gender dysphoria. You could be or not be trans and have features of it. But some people dislike some features of their body because of how they are perceived by society, and that is social dysphoria. It's usually trans people (binary, non-binary) that experience that, but like said above, being a lesbian or asexual can impact that, sexual assault or mental health issues or possibly something else. 11 hours ago, Pixley said: I just kind of thought most cis women were cool with their chest. Oh well... I feel like a dude and I'm fine with my chest. Idk how those two relate at all. I guess... if someone is the kind of trans who not only feels male but also wants the male physique, then they are not fine with the chest. As for other body parts I'm rather oblivious too. I care to be fit if anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 1) A lot of what the OP @LittleJ said is the same as my story - didn't like looking at my body as soon as puberty hit, felt more like a gay man than a normal teenage girl. 2) Wow I feel so...weird reading @Pixley's comments - like, I have it bad enough with my B cups, I can't imagine how I would cope with anything above a C. Yes, wearing button-ups or hoodies and a sports or wireless bra minimises them to the extent that in a good light it could be that I had just been fat in the past (which is true). But I would still have top surgery tomorrow if I could. 3) Yes, from what I hear it's entirely possible to want a "male" chest and still be a cis female. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleJ Posted July 23, 2018 Author Share Posted July 23, 2018 2 hours ago, Emery. said: If we are talking about purely physical gender dysphoria. You could be or not be trans and have features of it. But some people dislike some features of their body because of how they are perceived by society, and that is social dysphoria. It's usually trans people (binary, non-binary) that experience that, but like said above, being a lesbian or asexual can impact that, sexual assault or mental health issues or possibly something else. I don’t think I’m trans because I don’t feel like a boy which is all I know trans to be is feeling like the wrong gender. Other people do have different definitions. I’m not a lesbian or asexual and I don’t have history of sexual assault so it’s not that. With the social part i’ve never had guys stare at me and give me unwanted attention so I don’t think it has to do with that. 2 hours ago, Celyn said: 1) A lot of what the OP @LittleJ said is the same as my story - didn't like looking at my body as soon as puberty hit, felt more like a gay man than a normal teenage girl. When I was little I genuinely always said I wanted to be a gay guy. It changed as I got older but when I was like 7 I’d say I wouldn’t be surprised if I was a gay guy when I was older and if I magically could be then I would. Now I don’t feel like I want to be but I don’t know. Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 So... you just dislike your breasts for no apparent reason? Am I right? Just because. You could also be non-binary if you wanted to be a gay guy. And you can still want that but it's... less in the sight. And this is why you want a flat chest. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleJ Posted July 23, 2018 Author Share Posted July 23, 2018 15 hours ago, Pixley said: @Starbucks Covfefe Me. Me ALL THE THE WAY. Like, it was back in high school and a close friend of mine made a harmless little joke about me not having cleavage like our other friend (I was pretty flat). We all thought it was funny, but a small part of me got super insecure about it because I was a closeted asexual and didn’t know it and was developing late, so I just wanted to be “normal” like the rest of my classmates. I thought, if women like my Mom could go up in size, maybe I could go down in size. I was (and still am) a D cup, but thought that maybe someday I could get breast reduction surgery, and downgrade to an A cup, though I wasn’t sure why I wanted that, I just went with it. Figured it seemed practical, and easier to deal with in terms of physical navigation in my day to day + asexual, and didn’t really “need” them, so to speak. Now that I’m more fully aware of my ever-changing gender identity, I debate on breast reduction as I have researched that it affects the results of top surgery, and I’d like to keep that as an option if I ever really, REALLY want it. But I got to say, as much as I enjoy doing it, binding as a D cup is a bitch. 🙄 Definitely wish I was an A cup again. More versatile. Feeling extra feminine? Push up bra. Feeling masculine/neutral? Binder (but easier). MY phone was freezing so I couldn’t backspace but I get the first part about friends pointing out not having cleavage because I developed late and all my friends were early. Im not asexual so but I really did just wanna be ‘’normal” like my friends. I had small boobs like just naturally but then I got lazy and I didn’t do sports or anything so I got a little fat and so im like a C which is fine it’s not bad. I want to bind though. The problem is my mum would never understand and also she does the washing so if I suddenly out of nowhere wanted to do my own it’s really suspicious and she’d find out. I use a sports bra but that doesn’t do a good job at all but at least I have baggy clothes that help a little. I feel like if I got top surgery or breast reduction I’d probably regret it because I have no idea I just don’t trust myself to make an important decision like that Link to post Share on other sites
LittleJ Posted July 23, 2018 Author Share Posted July 23, 2018 11 minutes ago, Emery. said: So... you just dislike your breasts for no apparent reason? Am I right? Just because. You could also be non-binary if you wanted to be a gay guy. Yeah I don’t know why I dislike my breasts and I don’t know if I’d be happier without them because I can’t get a flat chest to see if I get some type of euphoria. When I was a little kid like 7 I thought I wanted to be a gay guy but I didn’t feel like a guy and I didn’t feel like a girl. I did think that if I grew up and I became trans I wouldn’t be surprised but I never knew about the other genders. I did grow up and tried to fit in with my friends who were all girls but I strongly disliked stereotypical “girly things” and I currently hate being called a woman or lady or mam. Boy, man, sir and mister don’t feel right either. Ive been thinking about being nonbinary for months and I feel I can identify as that but haven’t found a specific term under the umbrella of it but that’s fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 More cis women are ambivalent about having breasts than people think. Link to post Share on other sites
starweb Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 A long time ago I decided that if I ever had the misfortune to have breast cancer, I would have NO problem getting rid of the things. I would treat them like a bad appendix. Fast forward, I got breast cancer. Kept the same attitude. That thing is diseased and it has to go. I kept running into women who assumed that it would be some great traumatic experience for me because breasts are a symbol of womanhood or feminity or something. I respected them, even if I didn't understand what the big deal was. I didn't have the reconstructive surgery because...why?. I had one friend who almost fell into a depression because of her surgery. She said she was more afraid of waking up with nothing there than she was of cancer. She didn't get me, and I didn't get her. Cancer was taken care of with surgery but I did chemo just in case. That was a long time ago, still haven't missed it. I do wear a prosthesis so my clothes hang a bit better and that's a bit of a pain at times but...its no big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Maybe you're non-binary then? If the breast thing is connected, you have to judge this alone. You know best. You don't have to pick any specific non-binary identity. You can simply be non-binary and be whatever it means for you. 12 minutes ago, starweb said: I had one friend who almost fell into a depression because of her surgery. Oh my! I don't relate to that kind of feelings either. Link to post Share on other sites
Rodsie8181 Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 I have mixed feelings on the matter. Part of me wishes I didn't have them, while the other part doesn't mind their presents. I'm just glad the're not as big as my mothers and sisters, but sadly there's still time for them to grow. I identify as non-binary/genderqueer but still have to go by female pronouns in real life (which I honestly don't mind, unless you call me Miss; I hate that). Part of me doesn't like my breast because they let people know my sex is female and I hate it when people try to talk about stereotypical girl things with me and stuff about womanhood. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 I’m a D cup and I hate it. I’ve been exclusively wearing sports bras when not binding for months, and that helps a little, but I’m definitely planning on getting top surgery one day. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Uh, where to start with this one... To me, breasts are completely useless. If other people like 'em, have 'em, whatever, I don't care. To each their own... For me, mine have been nothing but a *bleeping* headache. I don't usually like talking about 'em, but I'm willing to make an exception here. I'm AFAB, but I've never felt very comfortable in the gender that I was born into. I started getting mine when I was NINE. That's when the hell of puberty started for me. I was the first of my peer group to enter puberty. Classmates started commenting on them and teasing me about them, telling me to start wearing a bra (to this day, I can't stand public change rooms). They've driven me nuts since day one. I don't like wearing revealing tops, as I don't see these things as an "asset". I ended up quickly becoming obese in my early twenties (I used to work in the fast food industry), and guess what grew as well? I have since lost all of that weight and then some, but those *bleeping* buggers didn't shrink AT ALL. I have tried binding 'em, but I haven't found one that fits me comfortably yet. Apparently you CAN bind while having a large chest (I've seen videos of other people doing it), but I've noticed that binding makes me feel kinda claustrophobic. I do use sports bras (just spent $125 on two of the damn things...), but I only use them for exercising. The rest of the time I just wrap myself in layers of clothes, which tends to minimize things. I hate these things with a burning passion. I actually WAS diagnosed with gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia too, so, yeah, whee, go me... They bring me no joy, nor am I proud of them. They're just there, and I hate it... I really wish that I could go shirtless and not have to worry or think about these stupid things. There are certain types of tops that I don't wear because I don't think that they suit me or look good on me. And sometimes finding tops that I like that actually fit me is also a headache. If only I had a flat chest.... My mother has expressed interest in 'em. As far as I know, I don't think doctors are doing THAT kind of transplant yet... I hate it how she's always commenting on 'em and expressing envy over 'em. Man, I REALLY wish that I could give these things to her. 😡 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.