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The meaning of Sexy


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Quick question: should I know what sexy means?

Story time: so my sister is trying to educate me on what a "sexy" song is, and after listening to several that are worthy to the title in her eyes, I still don't get it. The only common thread between them is a deep bass and lyrics more explicit towards sex/sexual touching. Isn't that every song now though? I entertained her and said that I got it, but in reality I still don't understand. I then realized that I don't understand what sexy even means. Yes, I looked it up and technically I know the definition but I just don't get it. Is that a normal asexual experience? Will I never know what this word means?

To be honest, I pissed that I don't understand it. It seems like the word can connect to everyone but me; when it's spoken it carries such a deep emotional understanding that I simply don't have. "Sexy" and sex in general seem to be such a large part of everybody else's lives, and anyone, anywhere, can easily strike up a conversation on how sexy ____ actor looks, or how sexy ____ car looks, ect, ect. I like connecting to people, understanding them, but I feel as though I'll never truly know anyone because I may never be able to connect to this big part of their lives. I know it's just a conversation, but it seems like a universal conversation that I'm left out of. Does anybody else resonate with this or is this just me having a crisis over a few songs?

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NickyTannock

@annon.ace It might be a common Asexual experience because I've had my friends repeatedly try to explain to me what sexy means, and give up.

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I'm not even purely ace and the concept of 'sexy' still escapes me.

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"Hot" is attractive. "Sexy" is more like... a more primal, powerful version of hot. Something sexy gets you all aflutter and interested. A sexy car is sleek and aesthetically powerful. A sexy person has some kind of quality that makes them unusually distracting and alluring.

 

It's also a little naughtier. You say a girl is hot, everybody agrees and goes along with it. You say a girl is sexy, everyone's forced to think about it a little longer, mull over whether they find her desirable, think about what they'd like to do with her. Saying something is sexy makes you think more about yourself and your body in relation to this thing, rather than just agreeing it's attractive. It conjures up this idea of sexual excitement and energy.

 

I feel like I know it when I see it, after enough exposure to the term. Just because I don't feel sexual attraction myself doesn't mean I can't get it.

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lilgroundhog

I have heard "sexy" used in terms that have nothing to do with sex or even romantic relationships, so I'm totally confused.

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Someone told me that Justin Timberlake was bringing sexy back and first I was like "whoa, where did it go?" Then I was like "wait, how did we know it was gone?" And finally it dawned on me "what the heck does that even mean?" Good news, you're not alone.

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I think that my use of the word sexy was somehow associated with a different definition than most people, so I was never confused by the meaning. I view "sexiness" as a display of power and dominance, and for me feeling "sexy" is feeling powerful, dangerous, and beautiful. It's less about physical appearance and more about the way the person carries themselves. I would describe both heels and lipstick as making me feel "sexy," even though the end goal isn't to make me more sexually attractive.

 

I also tend to apply the term sexy to women more often than men, but I'm not sure why. It might have something to do with all of my fictional female role models being powerful, strong, and beautiful: I've grown to associate them with my definition of sexy, so I tend to apply the term to people who remind me of them. *shrugs*

 

By the way, @JMichael, your post made me laugh so much I think I scared my cat. :P

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2 hours ago, Athena32 said:

 

By the way, @JMichael, your post made me laugh so much I think I scared my cat. :P

Poor Kitty! And yes, I know it's cliche but I am absolutely the Ace friend who is here for comic relief.

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