Neptune Ave. Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Personally, I want your opinions and insight about this, but please, no arguments. I don't even think "cishet asexual" is even a thing. I mean, I can see why people argue that "cishet" asexuals aren't part of the community, due to being romantically attracted to the opposite sex, but "cishet" means "cis heterosexual", so maybe it's possible that some simply use it as an excuse to hate asexuals. It's almost as confusing as to why people exclude bisexuals and transsexuals, because some are still attracted to the opposite sex. A few times, as an ace, I've been shunned by people, mostly bis (nothing against bisexuals, don't get me wrong). Of course, one of them said I don't belong in the LGBT community if I'm CIS and exclusively attracted to the opposite sex; however, another one said I don't belong in the LGBT group because I don't even want sex, and that doesn't make me oppressed, but that doesn't change I'm being oppressed denied by the community, by those who have problems with CIS aces/aros (under the assumption that they think I am) and by those who don't like asexuals whatsoever. I'm not even cisgender, and I know I'm not 100% attracted to the opposite sex 🤔 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 In my opinion, I belong in the LGBT+ community because I'm part of a sexual minority. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 I always saw pride events as an "You're part of it as soon as you show up" kind of thing. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 In my opinion, the term "LGBT community" is nebulous and intangible, so it's hard to determine who qualifies as part of it, nor do I think there's a point in arguing who's part of it. But I think that LGBT spaces should try to be inclusive and accepting of all (not extending to including bigots and the like), and I think asexuals have a right to be proud of our orientation and should be included in Pride. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Asexuality is part of the LGBTQ+ community so of course they're part of Pride. Also, on a lot of June Pride calendars, Asexuality is one of the days Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grimalkin Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Personally, I don't feel like I'm part of the movement. As a cis, heteromantic asexual, I just sort of feel like a nun. Is being asexual hard? Absolutely. And asexual erasure is definitely a thing. But I don't feel particularly discriminated against or oppressed, just... lonely. That said, I think the movement should be pushing to be inclusive of everybody, and I think that if an asexual person wants to be part of the movement they should consider themselves as such. The minute people start saying with absolute certainty that someone does not meet their idea of a "true" LGBT+ person, then we start discrimination all over again. It's the ciiiiiircle of liiiiiife... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spaceunicorn Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 5 minutes ago, TheAP said: In my opinion, the term "LGBT community" is nebulous and intangible, so it's hard to determine who qualifies as part of it, nor do I think there's a point in arguing who's part of it. But I think that LGBT spaces should try to be inclusive and accepting of all (not extending to including bigots and the like), and I think asexuals have a right to be proud of our orientation and should be included in Pride. Asexuals are included in pride over here in san francisco, California USA. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chamomile_Serenity Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 I've been thinking about this for awhile and haven't fully wrapped my head around where I'm heading with it so bear with me...If pride month is a celebration of the triumph over tribulation then I can understand why some in the LGBTQ+community are wary of just anyone coming in and being included. They fought hard, they are still fighting hard throwing their bodies on the line. Do we get to dance in the victory circle even when we didn't fight the war? That particular war. Now, if pride month is a celebration of everyone who had little to no representation and all the battles are won for not only the original cause, but future causes who would face similar oppressions as well. Then why not let everyone dance in the winner's circle? Celebrating differences honoring those bodies that made the sacrifice and creating a new social norm one that is inclusive yet still centering of those originally left out and discarded. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bronztrooper Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 There is still quite a bit of discrimination against bisexuals and trans people within the LGBT+ community, it's just that asexuals are an easier target due to how little people generally understand about asexuality. But then, a lot of that is online, where everyone can take advantage of relative anonymity to throw their offensive and discriminatory comments around. I can't speak for how the community behaves irl because I only know a few people who would qualify as being part of the community and they live in the UK- not to mention that I've never gone to Pride (honestly, if I was going to go, I'd prefer to go alone because everyone else in my family is straight (at least, I'm pretty sure of that) and it would feel kind of weird for me to bring them along). From what I've seen online, the LGBT+ community isn't exactly unified unless it's putting direct effort towards spreading awareness and acceptance (atm, it seems to me that they're doing so indirectly) and seems pretty full of internal strife. I want to say that maybe things will calm down at some point, but I don't know how likely that is. As for me, I want to be a part of the community, but... idk if I can really feel like I am, tbh. Maybe finally going to Pride at some point will help, but idk for sure. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 There are no "cishet asexuals". An asexual person may be heteroromantic, but they are still not heterosexual by definition. As their sexuality is non-straight, they should be accepted in pride events. Denying them that right artificially divides the asexual community. I go to pride events anyway. Particularly since in Poland it's not just about "pride", it's still about fighting for people's rights - we still don't have any form of legal recognition of same-sex relationships... This is why our "pride events" usually have words such as "equality", "tolerance" or "acceptance" and not "pride" in their names ("Equality Parade", "March of Tolerance" and other such examples). I fully support these demands no matter what my own sexuality is - it's outrageous to me that same-sex couples are denied basic rights and that this issue is still considered something "controversial". 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 9 hours ago, Chamomile_Serenity said: If pride month is a celebration of the triumph over tribulation then I can understand why some in the LGBTQ+community are wary of just anyone coming in and being included. They fought hard, they are still fighting hard throwing their bodies on the line. Do we get to dance in the victory circle even when we didn't fight the war? That particular war. I highly doubt every single person in LGBT+ alive today has suffered any sort of hardship for what they are (presumably you mean actual hardship, not just "feeling lonely" or whatever) yet they don't seem to go through any sort of screening process for induction into their "ranks" Oppression olympics is a shitty game to play. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StormySky Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 12 hours ago, TheAP said: In my opinion, the term "LGBT community" is nebulous and intangible, so it's hard to determine who qualifies as part of it, nor do I think there's a point in arguing who's part of it. But I think that LGBT spaces should try to be inclusive and accepting of all (not extending to including bigots and the like), and I think asexuals have a right to be proud of our orientation and should be included in Pride. Omg, amen to this! Be proud of who you are and be accepting of who others are. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Maristine Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 As a cishet demisexual, I just don’t feel LGBT at all. I’m just a weird straight person. I definitely have enough ace experiences that I feel like I belong in the ace community even if I’m not completely asexual. But I don’t feel like I have any “queer” experiences that would make me feel like I belong to the LGBT community. I’m not discriminated against or ostracized or told that I’m evil or less than. People just misunderstand. I do think asexuals belong in the LGBT community, and I belong in the asexual community, but for some reason I don’t feel like I belong in the LGBT community. I just don’t feel like it describes me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 5 hours ago, Maristine said: But I don’t feel like I have any “queer” experiences that would make me feel like I belong to the LGBT community. I’m not discriminated against or ostracized or told that I’m evil or less than. "Queer" experiences don't have to be simply negative experiences. I know of actual LGBT people who felt reserved about joining with an actual LGBT organization because they felt like they personally weren't oppressed enough, and therefore didn't feel "LGBT" enough. That's a crock of shit, just as much as it would be if someone didn't feel "ace" enough because nobody ever gave them a hard time about it. 5 hours ago, Maristine said: I do think asexuals belong in the LGBT community, and I belong in the asexual community, but for some reason I don’t feel like I belong in the LGBT community. I just don’t feel like it describes me. That's fine, though 😛 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
starweb Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 7 hours ago, Maristine said: As a cishet demisexual, I just don’t feel LGBT at all. I’m just a weird straight person. I definitely have enough ace experiences that I feel like I belong in the ace community even if I’m not completely asexual. But I don’t feel like I have any “queer” experiences that would make me feel like I belong to the LGBT community. I’m not discriminated against or ostracized or told that I’m evil or less than. People just misunderstand. I do think asexuals belong in the LGBT community, and I belong in the asexual community, but for some reason I don’t feel like I belong in the LGBT community. I just don’t feel like it describes me. This is me. I feel the same about this as I do about my Native American heritage. My paternal grandparents were Cherokee. I look white with something mixed in but basically white. I didn't grow up on the reservation with all its traditions and culture (although my family did return ever summer when I was a child). I have never experienced racism because of it (unless you count some rude people asking 'what are you?") I just don't think of myself as a Native American. I follow the news about what's happening in Indian Country because I do care, and if anyone asks, I'll talk about it but I just don't see myself that way. If THEY want to include me, that's great. My life experience is a little off-kilter compared to everyone else around me and it's nice to be around other people who 'get it' but I don't want to insert myself in the company of people who've had problems I can't even being to imagine. If they want to include me, that's great, it's up to them as far as I'm concerned. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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