Just dropped the bomb on a potential partner :S

[S.K.]

So, a little back story. I met this guy through a friend over the internet. We chatted normally when in group with other friends, but soon those chats became late night talks and flirtation and not long after we started talking about our feelings and such. Mind, I've yet to meet this guy in person and only seen pictures of him. He often jokes about coming to visit me with clear undertones of sexual motives, which I never knew how to respond considering I'm both newly identified asexual and a virgin. He is a person with lots of sexual experience and so I felt incredibly scared to mention my sexuality in fear of immediate rejection. Tonight, we got to talking about the topic through another one of his sexual jokes and I managed to tell him about my lack of sexual attraction to people and he told me he respected how I felt and how I viewed other people. Among that he said that we could take it however slow I wanted and we'd take any issues that might arise one at a time. I neglected to tell him I'm a virgin tho (For some reason, that's more embarrassing to me than the asexuality *facepalm*). I honestly felt like a boulder had dropped from my chest the moment I hit sent on the text and I don't regret it. I do however feel like I'm setting him up for future disappointment considering I don't know how I feel about actually having sex. Right now the thought scares me, but I don't actually know 😕

[Sally]

Congratulations for telling him.  He may not realize (or perhaps what you said wasn't explicit) that you don't want to have sex, period.  If that is truly the case, maybe you could tell him exactly that.   Sometimes in early stages of a relationship (and a non-IRL relationship is definitely early stages), sexuals will say that they are fine with "taking it slow".   That means they eventually -- sometimes sooner rather than later -- expect sex to happen.  If it's not going to, they need to know that.