Jump to content

Crush on my demisexual friend


CreekGirl

Recommended Posts

So, about 6 months ago I started hanging out with this girl, a lot, and we very quickly became really close friends. She was the first person I was able to talk to about sexuality and discovering your identity and coming out. I've been pretty open about the fact that I'm a lesbian in our friend group and about a month ago she came out to me as aromantic asexual. She's really cute, I've thought that since the first time I saw her and there'd been some feelings developing, but, as I've always said: "the biggest turn-off is to find out someone isn't attracted to your gender".  So I was able to squash those feelings by telling myself that it'd just be a lost cause, it's the same thing I do when I have a crush on a girl and find out she's straight. 

Today though, we were talking and she told me that she's not aro ace but gay demiromantic asexual and all those walls I'd built to keep myself from liking her just got smashed down because now i do have some kind off shot and all those suppressed feelings just poured out again. Ever since that I've spent a lot of time on this site, I mean, I'd been here before but since every google search relating to the topic circled back to this site I figured here'd be my best source.

 

Now, my question is, how do I go about navigating a crush on a demiromantic? I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or alienate her, she's such an amazing friend and she's my main support network and I don't want to mess that up by making her uncomfortable but I also don't want her to think I'm only interested in her in a platonic way. And she isn't good at knowing when someone likes her so if I'd want to make it clear I'd have to be upfront about it because subtlety is not her forte. It's just, I really like her, and we get along really well and I don't want to throw away my shot by doing something stupid. I guess I just need advice.

Please?

 

(I apologise for the incoherent rambling, I just got back from a camping trip with a group of friends and I haven't slept...)

 

I just realised this thread is totally in the wrong place but I don't know how to move it, why am I like this...

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Talgo
54 minutes ago, CreekGirl said:

Now, my question is, how do I go about navigating a crush on a demiromantic? I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or alienate her, she's such an amazing friend and she's my main support network and I don't want to mess that up by making her uncomfortable but I also don't want her to think I'm only interested in her in a platonic way. And she isn't good at knowing when someone likes her so if I'd want to make it clear I'd have to be upfront about it because subtlety is not her forte. It's just, I really like her, and we get along really well and I don't want to throw away my shot by doing something stupid. I guess I just need advice.

Please?

Literally re-write this into a paragraph directed towards her. "You are an amazing friend, one of my main support networks, and I don't want to mess that up, but I like you more than friends. I don't want you to be uncomfortable and I don't want to mess things up with you, I just wanted to be honest with how I feel. I know sometimes you don't get subtlety so I decided it was best to be forward. I just really like you and I wanted you to know that, and I don't want to throw away my shot by doing something stupid".

 

Obviously, use your own words, but it sounds like you have all the key points already. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/16/2018 at 5:01 PM, CreekGirl said:

Today though, we were talking and she told me that she's not aro ace but gay demiromantic asexual

Why did she say this? Could it have been an attempt at letting you know that she's not as unapproachable as you thought?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...