Guest Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Hey all! I've posted about gender before but I'm questioning again lol. For a while I identified as genderfluid but that doesn't quite feel right to me. I really want to be a boy, and I get dysphoria about my chest. I don't like being though of as a woman or girl, but also I sometimes feel very feminine? All my dysphoria points to me being a trans guy but my mind is convinced I can't possibly be one. I feel like I'm being led to believe I feel female when really I just don't. Or maybe I do actually feel female and I'm bigender. Who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 I don't know if this is true for you, but for a very long time I was confused about whether I could truly identify as agender (instead of demigirl, which was a label I hated because it ended in 'girl') because I thought I 'felt' feminine when I acted feminine. In the end this was just because I was socialized to be feminine and I adopted feminine mannerisms to fit in, and when I acted those mannerisms out I interpreted that as 'feeling feminine' when that's not what it was. That's why now I identify as 'afab agender' rather than just 'agender', to acknowledge my feminine socialization. I don't know if something similar is going on with you, but I'm just putting this out there in case it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Your post definitely sounds like something I would write while in "boy mode". But I'm not a boy, at least, not all the time. And however strongly I feel male at the time, I know that it won't last forever and I'll move back to a more enby-like position. So, have you had periods of time where you felt like a girl? Have you experienced feeling like a girl after questioning your gender? Also, your dyphorias do not dictate your gender, though they can help with discovering it. One of the things that made me realise I'm enby was that I don't want to pass as cis-male. I want to be androgynous and impossible to place as one of the binary genders; that's what's comfortable for me. You say you don't know your pronouns - which have you tried out? And how did they make you feel? Note that a new pronoun will feel weird. Dig beneath the weirdness - the familiar isn't always best. Lastly: give yourself permission to be a binary transman. Give yourself permission to be nonbinary. It is not anybody's choice but yours, nobody's body but yours. Try not to worry about society's perceptions - if you do, you'll live in the closet forever. And that's not a nice place. Link to post Share on other sites
Just Somebody Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Gender identities are just words you feel like to call yourself at the moment. You can also view them as the box/group you feel more comfortable in and better represented as at the moment. If you have that urge to call yourself a boy at the moment, you're a boy. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 You might have more of a fluid gender, maybe even more androgynous? I have a friend who is a trans male but he wears traditionally feminine things (it's usually just makeup, skirts, and fake nails), so maybe you're a trans guy but more feminine? It's up to you though Link to post Share on other sites
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