Guest Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 If you were to enter a platonic relationship with someone do you think there would be enough of a connection for the relationship to last long-term? I know there are so many unknowns with this question and maybe it's not possible to answer. It feels like without the sexual chemistry there's less to hold people together in a non-sexual relationship; or it does from the outside as someone that has never experienced it. I'm picturing in my mind living with someone in a platonic relationship, travelling together and enjoying each others' company and just wondering what the chances are of it lasting a life-time. Impossible to answer no doubt. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Do people need to have sex with their kids, pets or friends for relationships to last a long time? There's your answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 6 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said: Do people need to have sex with their kids, pets or friends for relationships to last a long time? There's your answer. Those things aren't quite the same thing as living with ONE person that you plan to spend your life with though. Also, kids have a connection with their parents because of blood, friends come and go (no firm connection) and do pets really have a choice but to stay?! Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Yes. Yes it would be plenty, for me at least. Sex could be fun I guess, but it's not necessary for me to maintain a happy long-term relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 I have friends I plan to keep in my life until we all kick the bucket. We might not live with each other (though we have at various points in time for various reasons), but I don't think that diminishes the importance of our relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 16 minutes ago, Princess Merida said: Those things aren't quite the same thing as living with ONE person that you plan to spend your life with though. Also, kids have a connection with their parents because of blood, friends come and go (no firm connection) and do pets really have a choice but to stay?! Erm, can confirm the last two can last a lifetime if you have a true friendship (not FB "friends") and a dog (my dog follows me everywhere, she won't leave even if the gate's open). Link to post Share on other sites
RakshaTheCat Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Lifetime relationship bound mainly by sexual chemistry feels like a nightmare to me, so, hmm, I'd rather not experience anything like that myself... 1 hour ago, Princess Merida said: I'm picturing in my mind living with someone in a platonic relationship, travelling together and enjoying each others' company and just wondering what the chances are of it lasting a life-time. Impossible to answer no doubt. Definitely platonic is good for long term, I think its actually the most important component of HAPPY and long term relationship. As for lifetime, well, as much as it can sound good, I think I would rather be realistic and focus mainly on quality of that relationship. People change, and it might happen that we will sail apart. In that case, we can always agree to split, and become just good friends Link to post Share on other sites
Ldlelee Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 I've never experienced sexual chemistry, so I can't say for certain how strong it solidifies a bond, but I feel like a relationship would be just as deep and meaningful without the sex as it would with it, if not more so. It all depends on what means the most to the couple. If sex is important to them, then it's going to be a critical part of their relationship; if, like most asexual people, sex is not a big deal or not favorable, then not having any sexual chemistry isn't going to matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Yeast Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 I think I could live happily with a lesbian couple. They'd have each other. I'd have female friends and wouldn't have to worry about sex becoming an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 3 hours ago, Princess Merida said: It feels like without the sexual chemistry there's less to hold people together in a non-sexual relationship Even the much-exalted act of sex cannot keep a relationship from falling apart. If something is not meant to be it will end at some point or another. Honestly, sexuals place a lot of importance on sex and most of them will leave someone who is not giving it to them but the truth is that having sex with someone does not necessarily mean you have a deep bond with them. You can have just as deep of a bond with another person without having sex, anyway. As humans, we have to accept that people can leave us at any time, and I say this as someone whose parent died when they were a child. We cannot control whether or not *any* kind of relationship lasts long-term but we can still attempt to make decisions that we believe will result in something worthwhile. Link to post Share on other sites
SilentRose Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Every time I have ever loved someone, it wasn't about anything physical. Physical love is just an expression of how you feel for someone and something many people find enjoyable, but it isn't everything. What truly holds love together is honesty, emotional vulnerability, and mutual caring. Link to post Share on other sites
gisiebob Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 I don't believe it is possible, as long as you expect the opposite to be what occurs. Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 I think it depends on the people involved. If neither wants sex, or both at least rank sex quite low on their list of wants (meaning sex is not very important to them), plenty of other things could keep them together. From a sex perspective, it’s the differing importance (rather then the presence or absence) that becomes a problem. That’s not to say other things (money, trust, expectations, unilateral growth, etc.) can’t pose insurmountable in some relationships but that’s true for asexuals, greys, and sexuals alike. tl;dr with the right person for you, a strong enough connection is certainly possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 21 hours ago, Princess Merida said: If you were to enter a platonic relationship with someone do you think there would be enough of a connection for the relationship to last long-term? I know there are so many unknowns with this question and maybe it's not possible to answer. It feels like without the sexual chemistry there's less to hold people together in a non-sexual relationship; or it does from the outside as someone that has never experienced it. I'm picturing in my mind living with someone in a platonic relationship, travelling together and enjoying each others' company and just wondering what the chances are of it lasting a life-time. Impossible to answer no doubt. I'm quite certain that it's possible. You'll just have to find the right person Link to post Share on other sites
Grimalkin Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 It's not about the connection, it's about the commitment. What would separate a normal friendship from a platonic yet long-term intimate relationship is the level of dedication to making the relationship work. It's why people always say that "marriage takes work." You have to actively choose to grow together in ways that you don't with your friends. Normally, if you and a friend develop different interests or political views, you naturally grow apart and spend less time together. There's no great pressing need to talk it out and try to make it work. If you wanted a committed platonic relationship, you would still need that element of "in sickness and in health," that willingness to try and overcome whatever obstacles life throws at you. That's why marriage is such a significant step. In theory, you are letting each other know that you intend to make this last a lifetime, no matter the circumstances or how you both change. Link to post Share on other sites
RakshaTheCat Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 2 hours ago, artzcat said: I I’ve had some really great, strong, close friendships with people where we promise to never grow apart. Yet the minute it’s too inconvenient for them and/or they start dating, I’ve been dropped unbelievably fast. I think problem is, that people don't treat seriously what they say. I learned times and times again that you just cannot treat most people seriously. They tell whats convenient, and they tend to not care if its true or not. I don't like it myself, so I prefer to treat what I say seriously. For example, I will never promise anyone lifetime relationship with me, because I have no way of guaranteeing it. I cannot make sure that we will never drift apart, people change after all. And there is always possibility of just being plainly mistaken and thinking that we would fit, but we don't in the end. What I could promise though, would be long term relationship that I will treat seriously. As long as we click with each other and our goals are compatible enough, I 'm happy to promise that and I will try to maintain it for as long as I'm able. This is what I would expect from my potential partner too, of course. Link to post Share on other sites
AwkwardAxolotl Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 I've been in a committed platonic relationship for 7 years now, so I know that some platonic relationships can last long-term. It takes work, and both people have to be willing to put in the effort, but it is possible for a platonic relationship to last. Link to post Share on other sites
shoshi coast Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 I am so interested in this topic. I would love to find a 100% non-sexual romantic partnership one day. Sure, I have friends- I have some wonderful, true friends who I expect will be in my life as long as we live- but at my age they are all married with kids and their primary relationships are with their spouses and families. I want to be someone's primary relationship, and I want someone to be my special person! It's so cool that people are forming non-sexual partnerships, and if anyone is in one of these relationships I would LOVE to hear about you met and what your relationship looks like! Are "platonic partnerships" ever romantic, but still completely non-sexual? Or are they always non-romantic? Link to post Share on other sites
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