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The birds and ace bees


ZinxtheJinx

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ZinxtheJinx

Since we are living in a world where sex is everything, how do Asexuals deal with the drama and if they're  in a relation with another Ace or Sexual - how do you guys make it work?

 

 

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I know sex isn't everything. In fact its nothing to me. That's how I deal with all the nonsense. Those who accept me the way I am are my friends. Those who don't aren't.

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I'm not ace per say, but I'm demi and honestly? I just focus on what makes us happy rather than worry about others thoughts and opinions on the matter. I've accepted that I'm weird, different, eccentric, and that not everyone will like how I handle my relationships but at the end of the day I'm not hurting anyone and that's what counts.

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I mean, my partner is currently questioning where they are on the ace spectrum but we are honestly both pretty repulsed by sex and have no desire to have it. We just end up making each other happy and completely shutting down our friends when they ask if we would ever have sex.

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I've come to accept who I am, and that I will never be as crazy about sex as most people my age tend to be. I've been very adamant about my lack of interest, and most of the time, I get strange looks and assurances that "I'll grow out of it." I let them believe what they want to believe. If sex is important to them, then that's okay, but if they have a problem with me not feeling sex is important, then I can't do anything to change it. I'll just move on.

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Anthracite_Impreza

I'm quite dirty minded for an ace, I'm as likely to make the euphemism as the next guy ;) I just ignore it if it gets too much though.

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ZinxtheJinx
4 hours ago, TheLoveOwl said:

I mean, my partner is currently questioning where they are on the ace spectrum but we are honestly both pretty repulsed by sex and have no desire to have it. We just end up making each other happy and completely shutting down our friends when they ask if we would ever have sex.

I am also sex repulsed and do not understand why people made a big deal out of sex like it's a 'magical' experience.

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ZinxtheJinx
48 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I'm quite dirty minded for an ace, I'm as likely to make the euphemism as the next guy ;) I just ignore it if it gets too much though.

I make dirty jokes yet never use the exact word and let people figure it out. My friends understand them though but they say the dirtiest things in front of me sometimes so I have to pretend I didn't hear them.

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Anthracite_Impreza
1 minute ago, ZinxtheJinx said:

I make dirty jokes yet never use the exact word and let people figure it out. My friends understand them though but they say the dirtiest things in front of me sometimes so I have to pretend I didn't hear them.

That's what euphemism means ;) When we go to the pub (naturally, I'm always the designated driver) it takes 5 minutes max for the conversation to turn dirty; we've actually had bets on it! I know more about my friend's vajayjay than my own 😐

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50 minutes ago, ZinxtheJinx said:

I am also sex repulsed and do not understand why people made a big deal out of sex like it's a 'magical' experience.

Yeah, the whole "it's such an amazing feeling" is kinda garbage to me. Like you're just shoving a body part in another body part...how "magical" can that be?

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Anthracite_Impreza
30 minutes ago, TheLoveOwl said:

Yeah, the whole "it's such an amazing feeling" is kinda garbage to me. Like you're just shoving a body part in another body part...how "magical" can that be?

Tbf, it's amazing for them, and I don't think we as aces should negate that. We all have something that makes us feel amazing that others can't understand.

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Just now, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Tbf, it's amazing for them, and I don't think we as aces should negate that. We all have something that makes us feel amazing that others can't understand.

I'm aware but if you think about the physicality of it, it doesn't sound super amazing. I'm aware that for some people it's the best feeling ever but it just sound like anything special to me. I'm sorry if I offended someone

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19 minutes ago, TheLoveOwl said:

I'm aware but if you think about the physicality of it, it doesn't sound super amazing. I'm aware that for some people it's the best feeling ever but it just sound like anything special to me. I'm sorry if I offended someone

Well, I think hormones are a huge part of that. Just like how for some people, hugging feels amazing, kissing feels amazing or whatever, even though all you're doing is shoving your body or mouth against another. Or, how umm... People can get pleasure from porn or other stuff. It's just magnified when you're doing it with another person, especially if it's a vulnerable, bonding moment in the same sense a hug or cuddling is. You both feel really good, you make the other person happy which for some people is the main attraction, get bonding and happy hormones afterwards, and yeah. So while I would never want to do it myself, I can see why sexual people would find it a big deal. 

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44 minutes ago, Taijavu said:

Well, I think hormones are a huge part of that. Just like how for some people, hugging feels amazing, kissing feels amazing or whatever, even though all you're doing is shoving your body or mouth against another. Or, how umm... People can get pleasure from porn or other stuff. It's just magnified when you're doing it with another person, especially if it's a vulnerable, bonding moment in the same sense a hug or cuddling is. You both feel really good, you make the other person happy which for some people is the main attraction, get bonding and happy hormones afterwards, and yeah. So while I would never want to do it myself, I can see why sexual people would find it a big deal. 

Yeah that makes sense, sorry

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2 minutes ago, TheLoveOwl said:

Yeah that makes sense, sorry

No need to apologize!

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Anthracite_Impreza
1 hour ago, TheLoveOwl said:

I'm sorry if I offended someone

You haven't, it's just good to see things from another point of view when you don't understand them :)

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On 7/15/2018 at 12:49 AM, Taijavu said:

It's just magnified when you're doing it with another person

In a way, that’s the bit I don’t get. In my view is it not the same feeling no matter how it’s achieved? Idk, my brain is just like, logically it’s much more efficient timewise and energy wise to not do it with someone else lol, as far as I’m aware, so I’m not sure why people bother, lmao

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4 hours ago, Rupa said:

In a way, that’s the bit I don’t get. In my view is it not the same feeling no matter how it’s achieved? Idk, my brain is just like, logically it’s much more efficient timewise and energy wise to not do it with someone else lol, as far as I’m aware, so I’m not sure why people bother, lmao

Ha, that is very quite fair! From a technical stand point that does make sense, and I've actually thought that myself too xD I think the main thing is hormones; your brain gets excited and wants you to "reproduce," so if you have a chance to do it with someone else your brain rewards you extra with a crap ton of dopamine and oxcytocin, in other words lots of feel good and bonding hormones. And I think also being close to someone else, and the excitement from someone seeing you "sexy" might be another aspect. Someone making you happy, and you working to make someone else happy. Loving and being loved, just... down there. xD And some people can get sexually frustrated from hormones, or feel unsexy if they don't get it from someone? I dunno. But yeah, I think the main thing is hormones. Hormones make it feel good and pleasurable,and extra hormones and bonding make it worthwhile doing it with another person. Kind of like kissing, except different because you can't really kiss yourself xD As for myself, being someone who might want to be in a relationship someday, it kinda makes me sad that not many people could simply pleasure themselves and feel just as good and content. I don't want someone to kill an important part of themselves, or feel miserable and unsatisfied, but it would sure be a whole heck easier if people only had to pleasure themselves to keep that "need" in check xP 

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ZinxtheJinx

All of these are great opinions. I never thought much about these until this discussion that turned into a debate on the Sexuals.

 

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@Taijavu Mm interesting, yep good points probably quite true.

I feel like you can appreciate someone finding you ‘sexy’ without the need to go through with anything thoough lol. People say others are sexy when they have clothes on 😂

 

So... potentially our hormones have evolved 🤔🤔😂 jk

 

On 7/17/2018 at 9:25 PM, ZinxtheJinx said:

Sorry had too

You have ruined roast dinner for me eternally, thanks for that, lol.

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Dunno I just joke around with the whole ace thing and use it to confuse people and make them uncomfortable. Yeah, I'm evil like that :) The other day a guy told me he finds it very interesting how I integrate my sexuality (or lack of it) into my whole personality.

 

Though, to be fair, I don't use asexuality to wreak havoc. I just treat it as the natural thing that it is for me and I'm not afraid or ashamed of it. So, like sexuals are sexual all the time, I'm asexual all the time, and they're just not used to it.

 

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ZinxtheJinx

Well honestly it shouldn't really be a big deal but because the majority of the world partakes in the ritual of sex it's hard for them to understand that there are people who actually don't make sex a big deal and usually stays away from the topic.

 

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