glitchberry Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 I know this is probably already a thing but I couldn't find it and I needed to rant about people being uneducated about asexuals. I recently came out as ace to a friend of mine, and the first thing he did was ask me what that meant - totally fine. I am more than happy to explain these things to people. But it was his next couple of comments that just sorta.....yeah. First one was 'I feel so sorry for you. It's a wonderful feeling! And I feel bad that you don't experience it." The second one was "is it like you're too much of a mother? You can only see people in a motherly way?". Like, yes, I am very much the parent friend, but that has absolutely nothing to do with my sexuality? And then there was "Is this like a protective mechanism? Like you've detatched yourself in some way?". No. No it is not. I tried my best to answer these things for him but he just couldn't seem to grasp it. And I know that none of it was meant in an offensive way, but holy hell this world needs education on asexuality. What about you guys? What are some totally dumb and uneducated comments people have made? Link to post Share on other sites
Grimalkin Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 "Asexual? Like a plant?" Link to post Share on other sites
OldSoul Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 "You just haven't found the right person to screw." "I bet I can change that." (WHY do some people think that this is attractive flirting?) "Is it because you're depressed?" "Is it from some sort of trauma?" Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Beat Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 "I bet I can fix you" (Yeah, because that's not creepy or rape-y in any way, is it?) "But you're going to miss out!" "But I thought only bacteria could be asexual" (This was not and will never be funny, ever) "You're just a late bloomer" "You'll learn someday" (Because that's not condescending at all) Link to post Share on other sites
glitchberry Posted July 14, 2018 Author Share Posted July 14, 2018 18 minutes ago, Grimalkin said: "Asexual? Like a plant?" Oh dear 😯 4 minutes ago, OldSoul said: "You just haven't found the right person to screw." "I bet I can change that." (WHY do some people think that this is attractive flirting?) "Is it because you're depressed?" "Is it from some sort of trauma?" I don't know but I got that a lot when I came out as gay. Like, no, sir, I will not be changed by your totally magical sex skills or whatever it is that you are trying to imply you have Link to post Share on other sites
glitchberry Posted July 14, 2018 Author Share Posted July 14, 2018 1 minute ago, Dr. Beat said: "I bet I can fix you" (Yeah, because that's not creepy or rape-y in any way, is it?) "But you're going to miss out!" "But I thought only bacteria could be asexual" (This was not and will never be funny, ever) "You're just a late bloomer" "You'll learn someday" (Because that's not condescending at all) Uuuugggggghhhhh. It's neither funny, or scientifically accurate. Honestly if I ever get this one I'm going to go into an in-depth lecture about asexual reproduction and that yes, I can totally make genetically identical clones of myself because evolution decided I am perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Beat Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 I've gotten that one a surprising amount of times. Usually it starts with me being polite, but depending on if the person is legitimately ignorant or just a jerk, it usually lapses into a really sarcastic discussion about how words definitely can't have more than one meaning and I am indeed a rare species of prokaryote. Respect my rights as a single celled organism. Link to post Share on other sites
glitchberry Posted July 14, 2018 Author Share Posted July 14, 2018 5 minutes ago, Dr. Beat said: I've gotten that one a surprising amount of times. Usually it starts with me being polite, but depending on if the person is legitimately ignorant or just a jerk, it usually lapses into a really sarcastic discussion about how words definitely can't have more than one meaning and I am indeed a rare species of prokaryote. Respect my rights as a single celled organism. 'respect my rights as a single celled organism.' hahahaha I love that! Might actually have to steal that one 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
Evren Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 That sounds like a hormone problem. Link to post Share on other sites
InfiniteNull Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Some of then ones that I've heard that haven't been mentioned yet above: "oh, I didn't think about people needing to come out about that like LGBT"... er um... but... I am indeed queer, and I do consider myself part of the LGBTQIA+ community... "it must be so lonely" not really... in fact on of the characteristics of asexuality for me is that I don't get lonely without a partner "are you sure you're not just gay or something?" the only sexual experience I have had were homosexual experiences... and I don't exactly cover that up... so nope... I came out as Gay at 19yo... feel free to think of me as a queer person, I do identify as one which when combined with my gender expression is probably why I am setting off your so-called gaydar... I still don't want to sleep with people 😛 "oh, my <insert relative or friend type> is celibate and doesn't want to have sex until they get married"... different situation entirely "oh, my <insert relative or friend type> is <insert irrelevant gender or sexual minority group>".... also different lol "So are you a virgin?" not quite... not that it's appropriate to ask me that. I don't ask you how many times a week you have sex when you tell me that you're straight... it's very similar. Link to post Share on other sites
Member131995 Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 1 hour ago, Grimalkin said: "Asexual? Like a plant?" Yeah, this and also, "Asexual, like a slug?" Someone actually asked me this and I was just like, "no, no, you're thinking of a hemaphrodite" 🙄 Also: "you're sure you're not gay? If you're into both, maybe you're bi." Like, no... Link to post Share on other sites
A.R.B. Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 "Why the f@#$ wouldn't you want sex?" Link to post Share on other sites
bound dust Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 My one grandmothers response was something like this, she laughed "I hope not, you're to young to know anyways" My mom said a few times that I was possibly to young to know, or that it might change someday, and then one time we where talking and she brought up me getting married someday and all that and I mentioned again how I was asexual and was never going to have sex and she was like "you're never going to have sex, even if you love them!?" like it was a surprise even though I had already explained I was asexual. Also my mom tried to blame my hormone imbalance and even asked the doctor if that could be the cause, even though I told her that it wasn't possible. Link to post Share on other sites
lexilovely Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 "But you liked that one guy, so you can't be asexual." (How interesting that asexuality and aromanticism are two different things.) "How do you know if you've never had sex?" (How do you know you don't like sleeping with men if you've never tried that?) "You'll understand when you have sex with your husband." (My mother said this.) The ignorance. Is painful. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 So far no one has said anything to me (cuz I'm not out to many people) but my friend's mom told my friend that it "sounds really stupid" when they came out to her as ace. Also, "you're just confused". The mom is really cool about it now though since she now understands more about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 "No way, dear. It's just phase" 👿 I mean seriously...drives me carzy! Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Potato Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 "so.. you're a lesbian?" ~ my ex. No. apparently saying I don't see either men or women as sexy went in one ear and out the other "you will meet the right person one day" ~my mom You go ahead and keep thinking that, I won't bring it up again "you're just traumatized by your breakup" ~ my older sister No, I'm not. I'm doing great and looking at getting back into the dating scheme, just without sex involved. Best reactions: "That makes so much sense! thanks for telling me" ~ my little sister "I've never heard of someone who wasn't interested at all." (proceeds to ask non invasive questions about asexuality) ~ guy I met at a pride fest Link to post Share on other sites
SnickersGetSomeNoots Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 "Living a life of asexuality is an unattainable aspiration. One day you'll follow along with the guidelines of society" "Oh so you're a plant?" (hilarious Karen really you should be a comedian) "You're too young" "That's a hormone issue" "I just dont understand how you can be like that" "Aren't all women like that?" "You're just trying to be a special snowflake" "You should try masturbation" "Aww you're so precious" "Wow you're missing out. Horny is a good feeling I'm so sorry for you" "How can you be asexual? You have a bf and i saw you kissing?" "How selfish of you to be in a relationship if you can't give him sex. Don't expect him to stay with you" (Oh and my so called best friend offered my bf sex because she knew i couldn't give him that and she thinks he deserves better than me 🙃) "You just need to try it" "You'll meet someone one day and they'll fix you" "If you really loved them you'd want sex with them" "You'll definitely change your mind" And last but not least "Wow it must be so easy being asexual. You don't have to worry about sex at all" (yet isn't it funny we have to deal with drama because we don't want sex?) Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 "Don't be stupid" Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Wanderer Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Someone needs to make up a coming out bingo card so you can cross off the common sayings when you come out. Might as well make a game of it Link to post Share on other sites
RoxAtan Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 My mom: "you just need to meet the right person" (that one gets mentioned a lot) My dad: "...fantastic! I don't have to pay for any more weddings!" Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 @Purple Wanderer Lots of people already have: https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=asexual+bingo&rlz=1C1CHBD_en-GBGB712GB712&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiescH8laLcAhXBCMAKHeDSAnwQ_AUICigB&biw=1366&bih=635 Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Wanderer Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 @Anthracite_Impreza wow... theres alot. Drinking game when I come out I think Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 "You'll always be my daughter." First of all, I never was. Hearing that come out of my mother's mouth was absolutely heartbreaking. I'm just glad she's slowly grown to accept me as a GQ Male rather than what she originally thought she had. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 4 minutes ago, RK800 said: "You'll always be my daughter." First of all, I never was. Hearing that come out of my mother's mouth was absolutely heartbreaking. I'm honestly terrified that I'm gonna have to hear and deal with that when I come out, considering I already hear it everyday... Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 1 minute ago, TheLoveOwl said: I'm honestly terrified that I'm gonna have to hear and deal with that when I come out, considering I already hear it everyday... It's not easy but I will tell you this: most people I've come out to have actually been really accepting. My soon-to-be stepdad, grandma, friends, sibling, they all accepted it readily, some even said they always sort of 'knew'. So chin-up, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 2 minutes ago, RK800 said: It's not easy but I will tell you this: most people I've come out to have actually been really accepting. My soon-to-be stepdad, grandma, friends, sibling, they all accepted it readily, some even said they always sort of 'knew'. So chin-up, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. All of my friends so far have been super supportive (except two) but if I even mention transgenderism around my family, they go ballistic and say it isn't real Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 12 minutes ago, TheLoveOwl said: All of my friends so far have been super supportive (except two) but if I even mention transgenderism around my family, they go ballistic and say it isn't real My Grandma expressed transphobia as did my Mother until I came out. Then they did a complete 180. So it's always a possibility that their thoughts will change because you're a loved one. However, I would recommend staying in the closet if you're unsure. I did until I was 18 and had the option of leaving home if I had to. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 1 minute ago, RK800 said: My Grandma expressed transphobia as did my Mother until I came out. Then they did a complete 180. So it's always a possibility that their thoughts will change because you're a loved one. However, I would recommend staying in the closet if you're unsure. I did until I was 18 and had the option of leaving home if I had to. I mean possibly, they're quite set on transphobia and homophobia cuz of religion so, it could but it's unlikely. The whole 18 thing was what I've been planning since two years ago Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Just now, TheLoveOwl said: I mean possibly, they're quite set on transphobia and homophobia cuz of religion so, it could but it's unlikely. The whole 18 thing was what I've been planning since two years ago Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.