Cyes03

What type of Asexual?

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Cyes03

I currently identify as Aromantic & asexual, however I saw a post that said there is a thing called oriented aroace which means you are aromamtic and asexual but you have a preference. So for example, I am hetero aroace because I have a preference for boys. This definitely fits but I still feel like it doesn't at the same time. I've identified as aroace for about 3 months now and as soon as I found out about aromanticism and asexuality I felt complete because I knew I was different from the others at school and I knew I wasn't gay so I was very hapoy when I found out I was aroace yet I still felt like it wasn't the right label. I'm curious about kissing and sex and that lot but it coukd just be because I've never gone out with or kissed anyone before or my age or both. I do want to try them out but does that seem asexual? I've had squishes in my past but recently I had my first sensual crush but that lasted for like 3 days. I have found about 2-3 people asethetically pleasing in my life but I felt something more but not romantic, sexual or sensual, I don't know. I've had this feeling for someone recently but i don't feel any of those attractions either. I thought I was greysexual at first but then I realised I had never felt sexual attraction so i settled for asexual. I briefly thought I was demisexual because I only experienced some type of attraction after being friends with them for some months but never sexual or romantic. When I feel attraction towards girls it's only platonically and I know that for sure but when I get one on a boy I don't realise till years later but that was only before I was in secondary school. I had a long term 'crush' on someone in my year but that was a squish. It's only recently I'm experiencing other attractions. Am I asexual or something else? What is the weird attraction I feel? Can you help me?

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TheAP

It does sound like you are asexual. You can be curious about sex and still be asexual, as long as you don't desire sex with others for sexual pleasure. It sounds like you could be aromantic as well. I don't know what kind of attraction you might be experiencing, but maybe look up alterous, which means attraction that is neither completely romantic not completely platonic. You don't have to figure it out yet, though. Attraction is complicated.

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Cyes03

Alterous does sound like it, thanks. 

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Anthracite_Impreza

How old are you if you don't mind? If you're still under 18 I wouldn't rule anything out yet because a lot of youngsters (especially girls) have to be in intimate situations to know whether it's right for them, and since you have an interest in kissing that might be an indicator of that.

 

That said, aro-aces can have orientations of sorts, in a platonic or aesthetic manner. I refer to myself as bromantic (only on here, no one in the outside world shall know) because the feelings I have really are like the bromances you see on telly; you know, always glued to each other, worrying about each other, lots of chaste physical contact... but it's not really romantic. I (think I) know what you mean, but I have no idea what the "official" term is. Just roll with it ;)

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Cyes03

I'm 14 and as you have seen I have taken my age into consideration. My sexual orientation is definitely different to the other girls at my school. One example is whencwe had to watch Romeo + Juliet (the 1997 one) and all the girls were like "He's soo hot" or "He's sooo fit" and I was just there like "Why are you all obsessed with him? He's okay looking but still". I even said to the class"Am I the only girl here not obsessing over him?" Of course I got yeses. I get a lot of questions at school like Am I gay or Am I bi. This is probably because I am very masculine and I hate the stereotype of masculine women being lesbians. Only a small amount of people know im aroace. Probably 8 or 10

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MiraMeyneth

There's nothing wrong with alterous attraction. I'm 18, but through my whole life I tended to develop squishes/alterous attraction towards dudes almost exclusively. I can develop squishes on females too, but it tends to be based off more appearance compared to my squishes on guys, which are based on personality, abilities, and tend to last for much longer, too. Considering I've been squishing on a fictional dude for nearly two years now and it hasn't faded yet, they can last for a hecking long time.  

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Cyes03

Same here. Girl squishes last about an hour for me but the boy ones last for weeks or months.

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