Flump222

Am I gray-A or not?

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Flump222

So, I recently went through a little mini breakdown from self doubt. However, I seem to be fine now, and I'm trying to make just a little more sense of myself. I'm pretty sure I'm asexual or something similar, though I'm not sure if I would fall into the gray area.

 

When it comes to relationships, my two crushes were purely romantic, and all I desired was the emotional aspect. Sex really isn't an aspect I want in a relationship, and in my vision of a perfect relationship sex is absent. I can recall thinking why people would ruin a perfectly good relationship with sex. When it comes to other things though, I do have a libido, and masturbate, though I know that it doesn't really matter all that much. I usually only do it because I'm bored. If I ever use visuals I don't concentrate on who's doing what, but rather what's being done. It's more of the act than anything else. My main source of doubt on this subject comes from this weird feeling that I get. I can get this feeling out of nowhere, where my heart rate increases and I can sometimes get this weird tingling "down there" (though it's definitely not anywhere close to full arousal, if it's arousal at all). This can occur from physical proximity or looking at someone (often with people I guess I'd find aesthetically attractive, though I don't actively think of them as such). My thoughts don't really line up with it, and I'm usually just thinking about the fact that I'm feeling something. It's a little jarring, I guess. It also goes away very quickly. If it makes any difference though, I am in my mid teens and thus hormones may pay a part.

 

Thoughts on this? Would I be in the gray area, or just ace?

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Just Somebody

Eh, sounds ace to me.

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RK800

Directed arousal doesn't dictate orientation. If you do not desire partnered sex then you can likely consider yourself ace without any issues. But of course labels are up to you.

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Just Somebody

Maybe you're vex(e)sexual due to the heavy anxiety vibes you're giving.

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Anthracite_Impreza

It could literally just be because you think you're supposed to feel like that, brains are weird like that. Ever heard of the placebo effect? Worrying about your orientation will make you overthink every twinge your body makes; just chill, go with the flow and eventually you'll be calm enough to figure it out.

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Flump222
3 hours ago, Just Somebody said:

Maybe you're vex(e)sexual due to the heavy anxiety vibes you're giving.

What's that?

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Flump222

(First off, just as an FYI I have posted this in the gray area thread, though I changed my mind and wanted to post it here instead. I have posted about this sort of thing before, and I don't want to post too much. Sorry if I'm doing something wrong. Mods, if my previous post can be merged with this one that would be great. Again, sorry if I did something I shouldn't have)

 

So, I recently went through a little mini breakdown from self doubt. However, I seem to be fine now, and I'm trying to make just a little more sense of myself. I'm pretty sure I'm asexual or something similar, though I'm not sure if I would fall into the gray area.

 

When it comes to relationships, my two crushes were purely romantic, and all I desired was the emotional aspect. Sex really isn't an aspect I want in a relationship, and in my vision of a perfect relationship sex is absent. I can recall thinking why people would ruin a perfectly good relationship with sex. When it comes to other things though, I do have a libido, and masturbate, though I know that it doesn't really matter all that much. I usually only do it because I'm bored. If I ever use visuals I don't concentrate on who's doing what, but rather what's being done. It's more of the act than anything else. My main source of doubt on this subject comes from this weird feeling that I get. I can get this feeling out of nowhere, where my heart rate increases and I can sometimes get this weird tingling "down there" (though it's definitely not anywhere close to full arousal, if it's arousal at all). This can occur from physical proximity or looking at someone (often with people I guess I'd find aesthetically attractive, though I don't actively think of them as such). My thoughts don't really line up with it, and I'm usually just thinking about the fact that I'm feeling something. It's a little jarring, I guess. It also goes away very quickly. If it makes any difference though, I am in my mid teens and thus hormones may pay a part.

 

Thoughts on this? Would I be in the gray area, or just ace?

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FictoVore.

You're just asexual from the info you've given here :) you could ID as grey if you're more comfortable with that, but I mean, that feeling just sounds like a normal reaction to beauty to me. I get that when seeing particularly beautiful aesthetics in a movie or when I see an actor I like doing an amazing job at playing their part, it's not sexual though (and I am not ace so I know the difference between those feelings and sexual attraction! haha), so yeah, you sound full ace to me ^_^

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Crazy-LoveOwl

It's up to you to use whatever label you identify with more (or not use a label at all) but I think what you were talking about when you mentioned "tingling" could be directed arousal (I don't remember if that's what it was called but it's something along those lines). From what I've heard, it's arousal directed at visuals or audio (if I remember correctly) but it's not sexual attraction. Some ace people do feel arousal but they don't feel sexual attraction. I could be wrong though.

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Anthracite_Impreza

If you don't actually want to engage in sex, I'd say you're pretty much a bog-standard asexual.

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Flump222
10 hours ago, FictoVore. said:

You're just asexual from the info you've given here :) you could ID as grey if you're more comfortable with that, but I mean, that feeling just sounds like a normal reaction to beauty to me. I get that when seeing particularly beautiful aesthetics in a movie or when I see an actor I like doing an amazing job at playing their part, it's not sexual though (and I am not ace so I know the difference between those feelings and sexual attraction! haha), so yeah, you sound full ace to me ^_^

Ah, okay. Well, the info here is pretty much everything I experience that's relevant to this, aside from like two things (that if I ever have any sort of fantasies it's not really a defined person, more of an anonymous figure, if that makes sense. And that I do experience aesthetic attraction, where I just kinda get an urge to just look at them, which also goes with the feeling that I described above, and also kinda makes sense considering your explanation on it). By the way, I just included those two things if they make any sort of difference, which I'm pretty sure they don't, but it's good to be safe.

 

Also, if I may ask, what exactly does sexual attraction feel like? Is it one of those things that you just sort of know?

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