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Feeling confused...


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Hi there,

I'm sort of confused and I was wondering if somebody can help me out.

I'm 17, female and just about to finish my first year of sixth form (UK) . I've always been super comfortable with my sexuality (extremely hetero) and find guys attractive. it might be a bit TMI, but I got off with a guy at NYE this year- we didn't do much, but it was kinda...underwhelming, and since then, I've been rapidly re examining my own approaches to sex. I don't know, tbh, that's the long and short of it. I've got a boyfriend now, but as soon as we get to a certain point, I'm repulsed, uncomfortable and want to be left alone. I don't know if that's because I'm not that attracted to him, or that I'm just not sexually confident or aware of "down there" that much. 

You know what it's like? It's like I'm getting to a point where it feels easier to regress and not try it at all because it's so exhausting and awkward. The idea of sex is great, but I think I might just be not that happy with the reality?

It's making me really depressed. I feel crap all the time, I don't know what's up with me, or how I work, or if I just am going through a funny patch.

 

Any advice would be really appreciated. Thank you x

 

 

 

 

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NickyTannock

Welcome to AVEN!

 

What comes to my mind is that you might be mixing up Sensual Attraction with Sexual Attraction.
Sensual Attraction is the desire for intimate touching, like kissing and cuddling.
And Sexual Attraction is the desire to have sex with someone.
Meaning you'd be into the making out until it gets to the point where that would naturally transition into having sex, at which point you'd become repulsed.
I don't know if this is the case, but I'm putting it forward as a suggestion based on what you've said.

 

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Thank you, that's an interesting idea. 

I guess that could be the case, it makes a lot of sense. But, in my head, sex feels like a good idea until it gets around to it.

Would that fall under the same category as sensual attraction?

 

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