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hooray4todd

I'm slowly understanding what the sexual attraction is, because since sex repulses me ( sex on TV ) I have always been confused about it. I thought I was lesbian at 14, then I started thinking about being bisexual. But the thing is, I've always had platonic crushes and I've never felt sexual attraction. I feel this strong libido, this phisically need to have sex, but it's like no one attacts me sexually speaking so it's a little bit frustrating. I wonder if it's just my mind obsessed with sex, since I masturbate, or it's just me. 

 

I'm always more convinced I'm asexual, but, anyway, do you feel the same way? Do you have this strong impulse without experiencing sexual attraction? Shall I start occasional sexual intercouses to satisfy my body? Do you feel the same?

 

I'd like to hear your opinions, the more I have the more it helps me.

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When you say you have a physical need to have sex, are you specifically craving sexual interaction with another person? Or are you craving sexual release and masturbation works just fine to relieve that feeling?

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hooray4todd
3 minutes ago, CBC said:

When you say you have a physical need to have sex, are you specifically craving sexual interaction with another person? Or are you craving sexual release and masturbation works just fine to relieve that feeling?

The second one! I'm craving sexual release.

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It's possible you could be asexual then. Keep an open mind about the subject... according to your profile, you're relatively young, and sometimes things do change as you get older... but yeah, if you're not into the idea of partnered sex and have no known reason for not being so (say, a health issue, trauma, etc.), you could be ace.

 

Personally I don't have a strong libido at all, don't usually have a random need to get off or whatever, my body doesn't nag at me for sexual release, etc., but when I'm into someone, I do desire sex with them. So kinda the opposite of you. And that desire to interact with someone else in that way makes me sexual. 

 

As for whether you should start having sex, certainly there's nothing wrong with experimenting if you're comfortable with it and not repulsed or averse or just not psychologically/emotionally ready. But don't force yourself to do anything you really don't want to. That can be a recipe for trauma.

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11 minutes ago, jadex23 said:

The second one! I'm craving sexual release.

I have a libido and sometimes need sexual release, but masturbation has always done the trick. I've always fallen short of any intrinsic draw to have sex with another person, even when I've pushed myself into such situations. Sex with other people has always been an unimpressive experience for me, doing far less for me than masturbation would. 

 

That being said, I'm glad I tried it. There's nothing inherently bad about you looking to experiment with other people to see if anything sparks. You're also not obligated to do so to prove anything. 

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hooray4todd
7 minutes ago, CBC said:

It's possible you could be asexual then. Keep an open mind about the subject... according to your profile, you're relatively young, and sometimes things do change as you get older... but yeah, if you're not into the idea of partnered sex and have no known reason for not being so (say, a health issue, trauma, etc.), you could be ace.

 

Personally I don't have a strong libido at all, don't usually have a random need to get off or whatever, my body doesn't nag at me for sexual release, etc., but when I'm into someone, I do desire sex with them. So kinda the opposite of you. And that desire to interact with someone else in that way makes me sexual. 

 

As for whether you should start having sex, certainly there's nothing wrong with experimenting if you're comfortable with it and not repulsed or averse or just not psychologically/emotionally ready. But don't force yourself to do anything you really don't want to. That can be a recipe for trauma.

Well, to answer you I'm 19 so yeah, I'm young and maybe still in a phase where my sexual orientation can change very frequently, but I want to amplify this discussion about sex.

 

As I said before, I have always had platonic crushes, and they were my obsession to feel something strong, since I'm always looking for strong feelings. With that being said, everytime someone was interested in me, even only in a romantic way, I felt repulsed and I always had to say ' Sorry, I'm not interested '. I think the fact that in this society sex looks dirty and that I've never experienced sex, influence a lot my point of view of it.

 

But the thing is, asexuals can identify as it even without experiencing sex. One thing is for sure, neither on my crushes I had sexual attraction, since as I said, two people together having sex repulses me. I had this kind of myth of the sex, as I thought sex could fill my emptiness. So I think mind plays a little role on it. I still think I have libido, I have this impulse, but when I'm in front of someone I don't want him in that way. Hope I was clear, thanks for your opinion anyways. ❣

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hooray4todd
23 minutes ago, Snao Cone said:

I have a libido and sometimes need sexual release, but masturbation has always done the trick. I've always fallen short of any intrinsic draw to have sex with another person, even when I've pushed myself into such situations. Sex with other people has always been an unimpressive experience for me, doing far less for me than masturbation would. 

 

That being said, I'm glad I tried it. There's nothing inherently bad about you looking to experiment with other people to see if anything sparks. You're also not obligated to do so to prove anything. 

Yes, I don't want to force myself into something I don't lie. By the way, I may start having sexual attraction for the person I love, so I may be demi-sexual, who knows. For now I just want to figure out why I have this need and urge to have sex if when I'm around people I don't even want it. Maybe it's my way to fill my emptiness, I just created a legend perhaps. I have a lot of imagination so it's kind of possible. Anyway this forum is helping me a lot to understand myself. I kind of feel like an onion, i'm deleting some layers to find what's really inside. 

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It's your body doing normal body things, but it may feel abnormal when combined with the messed up cultural attitude towards sex that tells us it's dirty (which probably also contributes to your repulsion towards sexual content). I think with time you'll feel more settled about it, whether you're asexual or not. You've got plenty of time, and you're definitely not the only one like this.

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hooray4todd
9 minutes ago, Snao Cone said:

It's your body doing normal body things, but it may feel abnormal when combined with the messed up cultural attitude towards sex that tells us it's dirty (which probably also contributes to your repulsion towards sexual content). I think with time you'll feel more settled about it, whether you're asexual or not. You've got plenty of time, and you're definitely not the only one like this.

Yes of course, but one thing is for sure, I've never experienced sexual attraction before so I feel more chained to asexuality now. Things will evolve and one day I will know for sure.

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Bronztrooper
14 hours ago, jadex23 said:

Yes, I don't want to force myself into something I don't lie. By the way, I may start having sexual attraction for the person I love, so I may be demi-sexual, who knows. For now I just want to figure out why I have this need and urge to have sex if when I'm around people I don't even want it. Maybe it's my way to fill my emptiness, I just created a legend perhaps. I have a lot of imagination so it's kind of possible. Anyway this forum is helping me a lot to understand myself. I kind of feel like an onion, i'm deleting some layers to find what's really inside. 

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