Flump222

Asexual Definition/Characteristics?

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Flump222

So, I'be just been taking a break to avoid becoming obsessed over this sort of thing (which has happened before, and is not fun). However, I felt I should take a quick stop to just sort of reestablish some of what I know. I know that the formal definition of asexuality is not experiencing sexual attraction, though that can be difficult to wrap one's head around if one isn't sure what that even is. I guess what I'm wondering is what are some alternate definitions, and maybe some general characteristics of asexuality? Hopefully this should refresh my memory and make things a little clearer.

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Anthracite_Impreza

Don't want sex with anyone/thing? Asexual! Short, sweet, to the point ;)

Btw, I add "thing" in there because I'm an animist and object-oriented, sex toys don't generally count...

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RK800
2 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Don't want sex with anyone/thing? Asexual! Short, sweet, to the point ;)

Btw, I add "thing" in there because I'm an animist and object-oriented, sex toys don't generally count...

This!

Thank you for including 'thing'.

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Anthracite_Impreza
Just now, > 2 said:

This!

Thank you for including 'thing'.

I mean, I never refer to machines as "things", but most people do so...

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RK800
5 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I mean, I never refer to machines as "things", but most people do so...

Oh thank God I'm not the only one. I actually refer to them like they're people, especially AIs, VIs, cars, and computers.

And dolls, more on that later.

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To Each Their Own
12 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Don't want sex with anyone/thing? Asexual! Short, sweet, to the point ;)

Btw, I add "thing" in there because I'm an animist and object-oriented, sex toys don't generally count...

Sorted.

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Anthracite_Impreza
10 minutes ago, > 2 said:

Oh thank God I'm not the only one. I actually refer to them like they're people, especially AIs, VIs, cars, and computers.

And dolls, more on that later.

I do it so instinctively it takes me a while to realise why people are confused/looking at me funny. Doesn't exactly help me fly under the radar...

Dolls scare me.

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Anthracite_Impreza
10 minutes ago, To Each Their Own said:

Sorted.

I'm not sure whether that was sarcastic or genuine 😐

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Flump222
34 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Don't want sex with anyone/thing? Asexual! Short, sweet, to the point ;)

Btw, I add "thing" in there because I'm an animist and object-oriented, sex toys don't generally count...

What if it's not that clear?

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Anthracite_Impreza
4 minutes ago, Flump222 said:

What if it's not that clear?

Then I would say if you do want sex but only rarely you're grey, and not sure if you want sex you're questioning. The grey area is vast, use it :)

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Flump222
10 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Then I would say if you do want sex but only rarely you're grey, and not sure if you want sex you're questioning. The grey area is vast, use it :)

How would you define wanting sex?

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Just Somebody

Sexual desire, as it seems, is like another kind of hungry for people in particular. 

 

 

In some cultures people even say they're hungry for someone when referring for Sexual attraction.

 

 

Even so,  a minority of sex positive aces,  who obviously are not sexually hungry for people in particular they find attractive in that way, do feel another kind of hungry... a hungry for sex,  for the act. Pretty sure cupiosexuals can explain it better themselves .

 

 

It's pretty obvious after saying that, that some aces like to have sex,  but inside the community there's different reactions towards it, some aces feel sex repulsed (apothisexuals),  others genital averse (vapubsexuals),  others apathetic (apathsexuals),  others are even radical and against sex (antisexuals ), some who only do it for procreation (parasexuals ),just to name a few feelings.

 

 

After talking about sex,  even the aces who are repulsed by sex can have a Sexual life,  pretty ironical too, in fact they can enjoy masturbating and having fetishes,  like any other libidoist ace, while other aces may be total non-libidoists.

 

 

Some aces even associate their neurodivergencies as the source of their lack of Sexual desire or as a important part of their orientation (adfectusexual ), unlike the majority of the ace spectrum.

 

 

You could define sexual desire as wanting a person in particular to make you have an orgasm or to want to make that other person feel an orgasm...

 

 

 

aces don't feel these desires, but the ones who enjoy sex may only enjoy making others feel an orgasm or having that orgasm provoked in them... pretty sure there's names even for these positions too.

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Anthracite_Impreza
8 minutes ago, Flump222 said:

How would you define wanting sex?

Erm, wanting to have sex with someone/thing? Like, I wanted Pringles earlier, so I had some. I regretted it afterwards but I still wanted Pringles at the time...

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Flump222
Just now, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Erm, wanting to have sex with someone/thing? Like, I wanted Pringles earlier, so I had some. I regretted it afterwards but I still wanted Pringles at the time...

With someone in particular?

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Anthracite_Impreza
1 minute ago, Flump222 said:

With someone in particular?

In general or particular. I can want something vaguely savoury or specifically want a (veggie!) sausage roll, I'm still hungry either way.

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Flump222
14 minutes ago, Just Somebody said:

Sexual desire, as it seems, is like another kind of hungry for people in particular. 

 

 

In some cultures people even say they're hungry for someone when referring for Sexual attraction.

 

 

Even so,  a minority of sex positive aces,  who obviously are not sexually hungry for people in particular they find attractive in that way, do feel another kind of hungry... a hungry for sex,  for the act. Pretty sure cupiosexuals can explain it better themselves .

 

 

It's pretty obvious after saying that, that some aces like to have sex,  but inside the community there's different reactions towards it, some aces feel sex repulsed (apothisexuals),  others genital averse (vapubsexuals),  others apathetic (apathsexuals),  others are even radical and against sex (antisexuals ), some who only do it for procreation (parasexuals ),just to name a few feelings.

 

 

After talking about sex,  even the aces who are repulsed by sex can have a Sexual life,  pretty ironical too, in fact they can enjoy masturbating and having fetishes,  like any other libidoist ace, while other aces may be total non-libidoists.

 

 

Some aces even associate their neurodivergencies as the source of their lack of Sexual desire or as a important part of their orientation (adfectusexual ), unlike the majority of the ace spectrum.

 

 

You could define sexual desire as wanting a person in particular to make you have an orgasm or to want to make that other person feel an orgasm...

 

 

 

aces don't feel these desires, but the ones who enjoy sex may only enjoy making others feel an orgasm or having that orgasm provoked in them... pretty sure there's names even for these positions too.

Okay, I think I sort of get it now. So an alternate definition could be "One lacking desire to engage in partnered sex"? 

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Just Somebody
Just now, Flump222 said:

Okay, I think I sort of get it now. So an alternate definition could be "One lacking desire to engage in partnered sex"? 

One lack of desire to have people in particular making you feel an orgasm, or vice-versa.  this makes you ace, not how you feel about sex,  nor whether you do it or not , or how you do it.

 

 

the desire to have partnered sex is still present in some sex positive aces.

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KendraPM

I define "sex attraction" as wanting to have sex with a specific person/thing, because if you are sexually attracted to someone/thing, than you want to have sex with them. A general desire to have partnered sex (which isn't always from an internal source*) while not experiencing sexual attraction, cupiosexuals, is a confusing area to be in. It's like being hungry, but literally nothing out there sounds good/you don't want any of it. Salty, sweet, savory, bitter, sour, umami, etc, not a single one even so much as sounds good. Some cupiosexuals will satisfy the "hunger" by just having sex (although it's never really satisfying since it's not exactly what you are craving) and others will just ignore it until it goes away because there's no reason when nothing/no one is what you want.

 

*I identified as cupiosexual for a long time before I realized my desire for partnered sex had more to do with societal ideas about sex and being told the majority of my life that a good sex life was essential for a healthy romantic relationship. It took me a long time to realize that there was nothing wrong with me for not liking sex, even when the sex was good. I still haven't shaken the idea completely that if I just find the right person, I'll magically want/like having sex with them. This is why I say I that a general desire to have sex with someone sometimes stems from other areas than an internal desire to have partnered sex.

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bejjinks
1 hour ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Don't want sex with anyone/thing? Asexual! Short, sweet, to the point ;)

Btw, I add "thing" in there because I'm an animist and object-oriented, sex toys don't generally count...

Yea, the "not experiencing sexual attraction" is a technical definition best left to those interested in a technical definition. What about people who experience sexual attraction but don't want to have sex? That is not the same as celibacy (which is a choice). If we define things too technically than many people will not fit and will have to start their own forum for 99.9999% asexual but not welcome into AVEN because of that .0001% of sexual attraction.

 

It is important that we make a distinction between those who want sex and those who don't but we don't need to get overly technical about it.

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Anthracite_Impreza
4 minutes ago, bejjinks said:

Yea, the "not experiencing sexual attraction" is a technical definition best left to those interested in a technical definition. What about people who experience sexual attraction but don't want to have sex? That is not the same as celibacy (which is a choice). If we define things too technically than many people will not fit and will have to start their own forum for 99.9999% asexual but not welcome into AVEN because of that .0001% of sexual attraction.

 

It is important that we make a distinction between those who want sex and those who don't but we don't need to get overly technical about it.

Yeah, I can no longer be arsed arguing semantics. Not wanting sex is a simple definition that will work for at least 80% of people straight away so...

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To Each Their Own
3 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I'm not sure whether that was sarcastic or genuine 😐

Oh, sorry. That was genuine.

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