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Another: Is THIS Sexual Attraction?


Osovo

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It's become pretty obvious to me over the years that I'm somewhere in the middle of the asexuality spectrum. Graysexual, demisexual, what have you. I'm not too attached to putting an exact label, I just know it's somewhere in that middle zone where romantic and sexual attraction is very rare/limited. But it wasn't until very recently that I realized that this is part of the reason why I have a hard time knowing if I'm attracted to women and men or not. But recently I've been noticing a very brief spike in sensation in my "naughty-bits" area when I see curvy women, say on instagram or something. It feels nice and exciting and even a bit surprising but it literally only lasts for a second if not half a second. Anyone here in the gray area have this sensation? And do you think it's a sign of sexual attraction or... something else?
I've seen talk about a tingly feeling before here but those sound lingering? Is a quick sensation a common sign of it too?


*Posted this in one of the other forums before realizing there was a middle-zone section forum agh.*

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I experience that too, I typically call it directed arousal and it can be brief or prolonged. It varies.

I don't consider it attraction by itself (otherwise I'd be attracted to things that vibrate; and typically I'm not with some exceptions ;)) but when it is accompanied by a mental component, an emotional desire to have sex then I consider it sexual attraction.

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Do you want to have sex with said women? Because if not it doesn't really count. You have to actively desire to have sex with other people for pleasure to not be asexual. A bit of a hard-on every now and then is just a biological reaction that can happen for all sorts of reasons.  But the only thing that really matters is if you'd actually want to have sex (if offered) with any of the women who induced the hard-on (or anyone else because the physical arousal isn't necessary for everyone to want to have sex with someone for pleasure. I can want sex with someone fictional even if I'm not aroused genitally lol.) If you don't want sex with them regardless of how horny you are then it's still ace :)

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23 minutes ago, > 2 said:

I experience that too, I typically call it directed arousal and it can be brief or prolonged. It varies.

I don't consider it attraction by itself (otherwise I'd be attracted to things that vibrate; and typically I'm not with some exceptions ;)) but when it is accompanied by a mental component, an emotional desire to have sex then I consider it sexual attraction.

Yeah I think arousal makes more sense! Because it's not really accompanied by the other things you mentioned or the desire to pursue someone. Just more like: oh hey there that was neat. 😂

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15 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

Do you want to have sex with said women? Because if not it doesn't really count. You have to actively desire to have sex with other people for pleasure to not be asexual. A bit of a hard-on every now and then is just a biological reaction that can happen for all sorts of reasons.  But the only thing that really matters is if you'd actually want to have sex (if offered) with any of the women who induced the hard-on (or anyone else because the physical arousal isn't necessary for everyone to want to have sex with someone for pleasure. I can want sex with someone fictional even if I'm not aroused genitally lol.) If you don't want sex with them regardless of how horny you are then it's still ace :)

I don't really get that desire until I know someone a lot better, and I can't say that this is followed by the desire to have sex with them or even really imagining it? This helps clear some things up, though! Thanks!

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What Ficto said, pretty much. If you don't want to actually have sex with anyone, it really makes no difference if your body responds with arousal. I'm more or less the reverse of this myself; I don't believe I've ever experienced physical arousal due to seeing photos of attractive people, but I want sex with an actual romantic partner -- which makes me sexual.

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For me, attraction and arousal are almost completely different and I've rarely (tho happily) have felt both for the same person. Attraction is mental/emotional and may not have a sexual component. Arousal, on the other hand is simply physical. For many grays, myself included, attraction is more important and can, but isn't guaranteed to, lead to arousal. I've felt arousal quite often (tho my tastes are different than yours), and that can be due to many factors, from somebody having an appearance that suits your tastes to merely feeling a latent procreative urge that's hardwired into the mammalian brain. Another question is: how strong an urge? Despite having little romantic or sexual interest, it's not like I've never seen anyone who was physically appealing, and that includes gender I'm not sexually inclined toward. But even if someone catches my eye, whether online or IRL, that's not enough for me to initiate contact. 

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