marinaaa

Confused.

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marinaaa

So, I'm 17 and I've never had sex or masturbated. And I have 0 want to at all, to be sexual in any way. When people ask me these questions and I say no they are really shocked that I've never even masturbated. I've never been in a relationship either or really liked someone. Every time someone comes close it is never for a relationship it's only just for friends with benefits or something purely on the lines of sexual which I soon turn down because I literally am so turned off by that. To be honest I'm turned off by everything. What I do want though is a romantic relationship, maybe I'm just traditional, but I want one that starts off romantically. But I feel like today, teenagers only want relationships for sexual reasons and it sucks when that is the last thing I want. I've tried to be attracted to people, and I do find so many different types of girls and guys so attractive but never in a way that's like sexual, only for aesthetic reasons or at most romantic.

 

I just need someone to tell me I'm not weird for not wanting these things. I'm sure maybe someday I'll want to have sex, if I can just find someone first. But I also need to know that even if I do find someone, and the sexual feelings don't come, that's ok too. Is it?

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Guest Talgo
9 minutes ago, marinaaa said:

But I also need to know that even if I do find someone, and the sexual feelings don't come, that's ok too.

People don't really figure shit out just because we get older. So when you ask if something is "ok": To whom? Who's judgement are you looking for here? And what do you think the punishment would be if someone deemed "it isn't okay"?

 

It's your life. Live it how you can, the best you can. Stop trying to live your life for others, until you find someone worth living it for. Accept who you are. Honestly: Take some times, sit down with yourself, and figure out who that person is. Who you are, who you want to be. Once you figure that out, be that person, and don't give a fuck what others think. 

 

People might come along and tell you they don't agree. That's their problem. People might try to guilt you to be different. Don't. Just accept who you are and if you are lucky, someone will come along who accepts you for who you are. 

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Ayra Star

Hey, welcome to AVEN!!!!

I'm literally the exact same. 17, never had sex or masturbated, want a romantic relationship but not a sexual one, at all. 

It's totally fine if you never have sexual feelings! I'm like that but I like to think that despite that I can still be in a relationship - I'm a huge romantic but I do find that most people are just concerned about sex atm. Especially at our age! But the good thing is because we're still pretty young we have heaps of time to meet new people, and maybe someday the right person will come along who is happy with a non-sexual relationship.

I'm not concerned about the possibility of never wanting sex - I don't want it at the moment so happily use the term ace/asexual to describe my sexuality, and if you feel you don't have sexual feelings you may feel you identify with that term too. Or you might find you later want sex, and that's fine to. Either way it's completely okay not to have sexual feelings, and you shouldn't feel pressured into a sexual relationship if you don't one just because it's what is seen as 'normal' by society.

Anyway, welcome again, and if you have any questions feel free to ask! This community is very accepting.

Have some cake :) 

Wedding-Cake-Spokane-3-392x470.jpg

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MichaelTannock

@marinaaa Welcome to AVEN!

 

There's nothing wrong with being Asexual.
I've never had or wanted sex either. I've masturbated, but because of abuse, not because I wanted to, and I'd be happy if I never did.
Everyone's different.

 

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Crazy-LoveOwl

You're not weird in the slightest :3 However, only you can decide how you wish to identify or if you even want to use a label. Just from how your story sounds, you might be somewhere on the ace spectrum and possibly on the aromantic spectrum. It's up to you tho ☺️

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The Angel of Eternity

@marinaaa Hi! Welcome to heAVEN! Have some :cake:!

 

1 hour ago, marinaaa said:

I just need someone to tell me I'm not weird for not wanting these things. I'm sure maybe someday I'll want to have sex, if I can just find someone first. But I also need to know that even if I do find someone, and the sexual feelings don't come, that's ok too. Is it?

You're not weird at all for feeling this way and it's ok if you find 'the one' and never want to have sex with them.

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Coddiwomple
1 hour ago, marinaaa said:

I just need someone to tell me I'm not weird for not wanting these things. I'm sure maybe someday I'll want to have sex, if I can just find someone first. But I also need to know that even if I do find someone, and the sexual feelings don't come, that's ok too. Is it?

 

Of course it's not weird. You are valid. Your feelings are ok. And there's someone out there for you who is content with a romantic relationship. Maybe an acespec person. Maybe just an allosexual person with a low libido. Maybe an allosexual person who is content just masturbating. You're not weird for not wanting sex, and you're not alone either. There are so many people out there who are fine with just a romantic relationship. I'm a teen too, and I have no desire to have sex either, at least until I'm older and have found the right person. But you will find someone. Maybe not immediately, but you'll find someone who is content with a romantic relationship. That person is out there. You just have to be patient. :)

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