Nathan_yates

Not for me but for them

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Nathan_yates

I've gotten to know that I don't have the urge to have sex but I would have sex to please my partner if they asked. This is still ace right?

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Samantha Mosher

I'm struggling with this same question too.  It's like I don't have an interest in sex, but if I were to ever get married I would most likely have sex with my husband because I would love him and want to make him happy which would in turn make me happy.  I am not sex repulsed or anything, but honestly I wouldn't care if I ever had sex or not.  So it's like where does that put me on the spectrum 

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Bronztrooper

Action =/= attraction.

 

Asexuality only deals with sexual attraction, so it doesn't matter whether you have sex or not- if you're not sexually attracted to anyone, you're asexual.

 

There are quite a few asexuals who have sex with their partners as well as asexuals who enjoy sex, yet they're still asexual.  You don't need to be repulsed by sex to be ace.  Hell, I'm indifferent to sex on the whole, but I'm not keen on the idea of participating in the act myself, which makes me sex-averse.

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hohohocalist

In terms of attraction, there are different levels (like asexual, demisexual, gray-a, etc.)
There are separate terms in terms of willingness or action (like sex-repulsed, sex-averse, sex-neutral, and *GASP* sex-positive)

What this sounds like is you're sex-neutral and asexual. Not all aces are repulsed by or averse to sex, and it's not a prerequisite for being asexual.

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Nowhere Girl
10 hours ago, oldsoulvocalist said:

There are separate terms in terms of willingness or action (like sex-repulsed, sex-averse, sex-neutral, and *GASP* sex-positive)

It's not the same. Sex-repulsed, averse, indifferent and favourable are stances towards the idea of having sex. Sex-negative, neutral and positive (and possibly more categories - I think the one which describes my stance best is "sex-critical". But when I have to, I prefer to say I'm sex-neutral because I don't perceive sex as either good or bad, sex has no value outside of an individualised context) are political judgements about sex.

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member1246

If you've absolutely no innate desire to have sex for your own enjoyment, yeah, still ace.

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Niohmaye
9 hours ago, CBC said:

If you've absolutely no innate desire to have sex for your own enjoyment, yeah, still ace.

I have always wondered if this would still make me ace, because when or if I find a partner, I am prepared for sex if it gives them pleasure and they want it but it would be solely for their enjoyment. I would be willing to postpone my discomfort for someone I cared deeply about.

 

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TheAP
8 hours ago, Nancy Esther said:

I have always wondered if this would still make me ace, because when or if I find a partner, I am prepared for sex if it gives them pleasure and they want it but it would be solely for their enjoyment. I would be willing to postpone my discomfort for someone I cared deeply about.

Yeah, asexuals can have sex with their partners to please them. It sounds like you don't really want to have sex with others, so you definitely can still be ace.

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