Demigirl or overthinking it?

[no-longer-in-use]

I've always identified as a cisgender girl, but recently I've begun to think I might be a demigirl. However I tend to overthink a lot of things so I don't know how much of me questioning my gender is a result of that. Anyway, here are a few things about my gender/gender expression:

• I feel no dysphoria whatsoever and have no desire to change my body in any way.
• Being referred to as a girl feels correct, and I feel 100% comfortable using women's bathrooms, changing rooms, etc.
• I'm pretty feminine and enjoy being feminine.
• She/her pronouns feel 100% accurate when describing me, they/them pronouns feel about 70% accurate, and he/him pronouns don't feel accurate at all.
• I used to have a strong sense of gender, i.e. I'm a girl, this is who I am, regardless of all other factors, this is me. But recently, I don't really have as strong a sense of gender, and although being called a girl feels right, I don't have a super strong sense of my gender in my head, if that makes any sense. I feel somewhere between girl and agender.
• My gender definitely does not fluctuate. Whatever it is, it stays very stable.

I thought maybe someone with more experience could share their thoughts on the matter. I'd really appreciate it.

 

Edit: I've decided to identify as female, at least for the time being, so no need to reply to this thread.

[bluemouse]

I think I feel around the same way. I don't experience a lot of dysphoria, but I feel more "female by default" and I'm not really that connected to my assigned gender.

 

I've seen the term "cis-genderless," which means a person identifies as being cisgender on the outside, but at the same time, they don't understand what it means to "feel" a particular gender. It's similar to being agender, but without experiencing any dysphoria. However, some people believe that "cisgender" itself means that a person's gender identity aligns with their biological sex in the first place, so I can't be too sure whether "cis-genderless" is used often. "Demigirl" would probably work if you only partially identify as a female. You can always look around on AVEN and see if there are other members out there with similar experiences.There are many other labels out there that might fit as well. Just remember that whatever you choose should be comfortable for you! There's no need to rush or stick to a label at all if it doesn't feel right. 

 

I wish you best of luck with finding out more about your identity! ❤️

[no-longer-in-use]

4 minutes ago, bluemouse said:

I think I feel around the same way. I don't experience a lot of dysphoria, but I feel more "female by default" and I'm not really that connected to my assigned gender.

 

I've seen the term "cis-genderless," which means a person identifies as being cisgender on the outside, but at the same time, they don't understand what it means to "feel" a particular gender. It's similar to being agender, but without experiencing any dysphoria. However, some people believe that "cisgender" itself means that a person's gender identity aligns with their biological sex in the first place, so I can't be too sure whether "cis-genderless" is used often. "Demigirl" would probably work if you only partially identify as a female. You can always look around on AVEN and see if there are other members out there with similar experiences.There are many other labels out there that might fit as well. Just remember that whatever you choose should be comfortable for you! There's no need to rush or stick to a label at all if it doesn't feel right. 

  

I wish you best of luck with finding out more about your identity! ❤️

Thank you so much for the information! I hadn't heard of cis-genderless before.

 

Do you have to feel gender dysphoria to be agender/non-binary? I briefly Googled it and got mixed opinions.

[bluemouse]

48 minutes ago, Coddiwomple said:

Do you have to feel gender dysphoria to be agender/non-binary? I briefly Googled it and got mixed opinions.

I can't be too sure, but from what I know, it's possible and common for agender and non-binary individuals to experience dysphoria. However, nobody should ever think that they can't be "fully" non-binary just because they don't experience much dysphoria. Gender dysphoria comes in different forms. Anyone can identify as anything they'd like-- If someone identifies as agender in the first place, then they would probably prefer to be called that, rather than by the gender corresponding to their biological sex. On the other hand, cis-genderless people are fine with identifying as their assigned gender and generally don't experience much discomfort.

 

Hope this cleared a couple things up!

[Starbogen]

To me what you said sounded most like someone whose gender is female. It's okay to be cis, even if you don't feel super enthusiastic about it or don't feel a super strong connection to your gender. Not everyone feels a super strong connection to their gender, be they cis or trans. 

 

As for dysphoria.. To me it sounds strange when someone says they identify as a gender different from the one based on their sex and yet they feel no dysphoria or want to change anything, but there are people like that. I've tried to understand it by not thinking about it simply in terms of dysphoria but also taking euphoria into consideration. So for example, you don't feel dysphoria over female things, but does thinking of yourself as (partially) agender or imagining people refer to you by neutral pronouns give you gender euphoria?

 

You could also try to consider why you're questioning this, and what you're hoping to gain from it. For me it was a matter of feeling more comfortable. If you don't feel uncomfortable being female, and identifying as demigirl wouldn't make you feel even more comfortable either, then I think it's probably safe to say you are most likely cis because you identify (or at least you don't "not identify") with your gender assigned at birth. But of course I can't tell you what you are, these are just my thoughts on some things you could take into consideration.

[no-longer-in-use]

2 minutes ago, Starbogen said:

To me what you said sounded most like someone whose gender is female. It's okay to be cis, even if you don't feel super enthusiastic about it or don't feel a super strong connection to your gender. Not everyone feels a super strong connection to their gender, be they cis or trans. 

  

As for dysphoria.. To me it sounds strange when someone says they identify as a gender different from the one based on their sex and yet they feel no dysphoria or want to change anything, but there are people like that. I've tried to understand it by not thinking about it simply in terms of dysphoria but also taking euphoria into consideration. So for example, you don't feel dysphoria over female things, but does thinking of yourself as (partially) agender or imagining people refer to you by neutral pronouns give you gender euphoria?

  

You could also try to consider why you're questioning this, and what you're hoping to gain from it. For me it was a matter of feeling more comfortable. If you don't feel uncomfortable being female, and identifying as demigirl wouldn't make you feel even more comfortable either, then I think it's probably safe to say you are most likely cis because you identify (or at least you don't "not identify") with your gender assigned at birth. But of course I can't tell you what you are, these are just my thoughts on some things you could take into consideration.

Yeah, I think I might just be cis as well. This thread was just a thought.

 

The having-no-dysphoria-yet-identifying-as-a-different-gender-than-you-are-physically thing sounds strange to me too, to be honest. To answer your question, thinking of myself as/being treated like I'm partially agender does kind of give me gender euphoria, but some/all of this might stem from my desire to be unique and interesting, as stupid as it is.

 

I guess what I'm hoping to gain from questioning my gender is finding a label that fits and makes me feel like I'm not alone. And yeah, that label might very well be cis female.

 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your post was quite helpful

[Dawning]

2 hours ago, Coddiwomple said:

Do you have to feel gender dysphoria to be agender/non-binary? 

No! Maverique, which is part of my gender identity, is one of the varieties of agender, and I have never felt the slightest bit of dysphoria. Why would I? There's nothing wrong with any part of my body or with the way I look, it just so happens that my body has a gender that I don't have on the inside. I don't have a frustrated desire to have a different body, I just have a gender that doesn't match my sex.

[no-longer-in-use]

8 hours ago, Dawning said:

No! Maverique, which is part of my gender identity, is one of the varieties of agender, and I have never felt the slightest bit of dysphoria. Why would I? There's nothing wrong with any part of my body or with the way I look, it just so happens that my body has a gender that I don't have on the inside. I don't have a frustrated desire to have a different body, I just have a gender that doesn't match my sex.

Hmm, interesting. Thanks for sharing.

[butterflydreams]

10 hours ago, Starbogen said:

To me what you said sounded most like someone whose gender is female. It's okay to be cis, even if you don't feel super enthusiastic about it or don't feel a super strong connection to your gender. Not everyone feels a super strong connection to their gender, be they cis or trans. 

 

As for dysphoria.. To me it sounds strange when someone says they identify as a gender different from the one based on their sex and yet they feel no dysphoria or want to change anything, but there are people like that. I've tried to understand it by not thinking about it simply in terms of dysphoria but also taking euphoria into consideration. So for example, you don't feel dysphoria over female things, but does thinking of yourself as (partially) agender or imagining people refer to you by neutral pronouns give you gender euphoria?

 

You could also try to consider why you're questioning this, and what you're hoping to gain from it. For me it was a matter of feeling more comfortable. If you don't feel uncomfortable being female, and identifying as demigirl wouldn't make you feel even more comfortable either, then I think it's probably safe to say you are most likely cis because you identify (or at least you don't "not identify") with your gender assigned at birth. But of course I can't tell you what you are, these are just my thoughts on some things you could take into consideration.

This is almost exactly what I would say. Asking what you’re hoping to gain from identifying as _____ (whatever) is a great question to ask yourself. To give an example, what I hoped knew I would gain from identifying as female was the sense that I was living my life deliberately, and purposefully. That I was taking ownership of who I was and actualizing it. 

 

Feeling largely indifferent to your assigned gender, or not strongly connected to it, IMO, isn’t enough on its own to indicate that you’re something other than cis. But please, there’s nothing wrong with being cis. Nothing wrong at all.