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Aegosexuality vs Asexuality (question) ??


KoolKat13

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  • 1 month later...
On 10/28/2020 at 3:43 AM, findingFantasia said:

Okay so I just read an amazing analogy for this from this link: https://sexuality.fandom.com/wiki/Anegosexuality

and it says aegosexuality “is like watching a sport and enjoying watching it, but feeling you would never play it yourself.”

Thats a good way of describing it. I'm still trying to figure myself out but i think that anegosexual does fit me quite well. I dont watch porn but i quite enjoy sex scenes or making up my own fantasies in my head - just dont want to actually have sex in real life

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On 10/12/2020 at 10:31 AM, Orb said:

Your question is fine! Not all asexuals get aroused, like porn, and/or have sexual fantasies, so the two terms aren't the same by default :)

Now, on a completely different note that isn't addressed to OP, ..It's really upsetting to see some asexuals here are so invalidating towards microlabels. Personally I use aegosexual because

1. Asexual doesn't fit. Simple saying "I do not experience sexual attraction at all" isn't true for me.
2. Demisexual doesn't fit, because I don't experience sexual attraction to people only after an emotional bond is formed.
3. Grey-Ace doesn't fit, because I don't experience sexual attraction rarely to people.
4. Allosexual doesn't fit because I don't feel sexual attraction towards people the way allosexuals do.
5. Fraysexual doesn't fit because I definitely do not experience sexual attraction towards people I just met but fades after we get closer.

Aegosexual fits because I experience aegosexual attraction to people. I classify it as a sexual attraction because I do have fantasies about having sex with that person, just not as myself. Sometimes I change my appearance, other times I just use someone else entirely that isn't me at all, but I never use my real life self. I don't want to have sex with people as myself. Finding the term aegosexual has been liberating and has put a word to my unique experience, and I am very happy about that. 

So no, I will not just call myself asexual, because that is not my sexuality. I am aegosexual, and your intolerance isn't going to change that. Have a good day. 

I'm still trying to figure myself out but i'm starting to think that anegosexual does fit me quite well. I do experience some sexual feelings (arousal?) and I sometimes have fantasies in my head - but I'm not me, i'm some other character maybe resembling a celebrity. Its strange isnt it, its like there is this disconnect between myself and my sexual feelings, or maybe my body and my head? I just can't grasp the idea of myself having sex. The chemistry between 2 characters I get and like, but i can't seem to feel any of that chemistry between myself and any real person. Myself having sex seems gross 🤔

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  • 1 month later...

Old thread but I found it while researching about my sexuality and I wanted to add a few things!

 

I identify as aego for now because I originally identified as bi first. I didn’t believe I was fully ace because, to put it simply, I wasn’t. I have some ace traits and some bi traits. Aegosexual fits me much better, and it doesn’t confine me to the common ace stereotypes. When I found the label I felt so happy and seen!!

 

I feel like saying microlabels like aego are bad hurts the larger community as a whole. We all experience things differently and should feel like we belong, no matter how we identify!! It’s like saying pansexual people shouldn’t exist because they are just bi, but pan and aego people are like squares, we are still rectangles, but a special type of rectangle. And you don’t see people going around saying squares don’t exist because they’re just rectangles, do you?

 

Just felt like I had to say something because when originally reading through this thread, some of the stuff people said really hurt me.

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  • 3 months later...
Water Witch
On 10/11/2020 at 4:31 PM, Orb said:

Thank you so much for this post!  I’ve been sure I fell somewhere along the ace spectrum for a few years now, but nothing seemed to quite fit.  I stumbled across aegosexual a few days ago and enough lightbulbs went on in my brain to illuminate a large city!
 

 

 

 

 

 

Your question is fine! Not all asexuals get aroused, like porn, and/or have sexual fantasies, so the two terms aren't the same by default :)

Now, on a completely different note that isn't addressed to OP, ..It's really upsetting to see some asexuals here are so invalidating towards microlabels. Personally I use aegosexual because

1. Asexual doesn't fit. Simple saying "I do not experience sexual attraction at all" isn't true for me.
2. Demisexual doesn't fit, because I don't experience sexual attraction to people only after an emotional bond is formed.
3. Grey-Ace doesn't fit, because I don't experience sexual attraction rarely to people.
4. Allosexual doesn't fit because I don't feel sexual attraction towards people the way allosexuals do.
5. Fraysexual doesn't fit because I definitely do not experience sexual attraction towards people I just met but fades after we get closer.

Aegosexual fits because I experience aegosexual attraction to people. I classify it as a sexual attraction because I do have fantasies about having sex with that person, just not as myself. Sometimes I change my appearance, other times I just use someone else entirely that isn't me at all, but I never use my real life self. I don't want to have sex with people as myself. Finding the term aegosexual has been liberating and has put a word to my unique experience, and I am very happy about that. 

So no, I will not just call myself asexual, because that is not my sexuality. I am aegosexual, and your intolerance isn't going to change that. Have a good day. 

 

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  • 7 months later...

I think it is necessary to have these micro-labels. I don't need to tell people I'm aegosexual, because it's TMI. But it's important for me to know I'm aego/anegosexual. Before I found this micro-label I was confused. No category seemed to be perfect fit for me. I knew I'm not sexual. Pure asexuals don't have sexual fantasies, so that's not me. Graysexuals experience occasional sexual attraction, that's not me either. So who am I? Aegosexual is perfect fit for me, because I don't feel sexual attraction, but I like the idea of sex, I like to read erotica. And I don't masturbate, arousal from reading it is enough for me. So I'm asexual, but specifically aegosexual. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
A as in artist

I’m replying to this because I’m hoping someone following this thread can give me guidance related to aegosexuality. I didn’t consider I was ace until recently, didn’t think I needed a microlabel because sexuality is so individual and personal, but I want one now because I think one might fit. Aegosexuality feels so close but not quite hitting the nail on the head. I keep seeing talk about the third person aspect but that doesn’t really resonate with me. What does resonate with me though is this: 

 

On 5/26/2020 at 4:45 PM, even_oddly_aspec said:

I'm sexually attracted to secondary sex characteristics, but not primary sex characteristics. So not genitals, but other parts yes.

This is what I’m feeling: I feel sexually attracted by secondary sex characteristics, but it stops at/ doesn’t go as far as primary sex characteristics. I feel sexual in the sense that foreplay is appealing to me but I’m repulsed by the genitals aspect of sex. So is this aegosexuality, or is there another label that fits this better, or is this a way to experience traditional asexuality? 

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  • 1 month later...

Like so many others have mentioned, I also think having micro labels is important.  Even though I fit the criteria for asexuality, I watch porn occasionally, read erotic, and masturbate and I felt like I didn't fit into being a true asexual but I also didn't fit allosexual, nor do I feel sexual attraction that demisexuals do. Reading about aegosexuality has made me feel less alienated and a fraud. I have had to relay my experiences to others a few times since I didn't want to hop onto a label if I wasn't really that. But I don't feel like anything defines me as well as aegosexuality does at the moment.

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