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Aegosexuality vs Asexuality (question) ??


KoolKat13

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I googled this term, and it means "A disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies, or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein." Now, I'm not trying to be acephobic, I understand that this is a full, valid sexuality, and if I come off as offensive, I am truly sorry. But I am a little bit confused. People have told me that most asexual people don't feel sexually attracted to someone, but can still get aroused. If this is true, is aegosexuality the same as asexuality? Again, I'm not trying to be rude or offensive, I just want to make sure I understand this sexuality.

 

 

I apologize in advance if I've upset you <3 

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People like coming up with a lot of labels that get more and more specific.

 

There are some labels that are considered under the "ace umbrella" which would mean they are effectively asexual but they want to express more beyond "I don't feel sexual attraction."

 

I have never heard of Aegosexuality, but I'm sure it resinates with some people. I tend to just roll with everyone's feelings are valid, it's up to every persons to explore themselves and there are endless nuances, but I don't look into these so called "micro labels" beyond respecting those who feel they need them.

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Most, if not all, aegosexuals qualify as asexual in my experience. Many just feel more validated by something more specific.

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NickyTannock

I have to correct you on one point, you said "People have told me that most asexual people don't feel sexually attracted to someone" but it's all asexual people that don't feel sexually attracted to someone, since that's the definition of Asexuality. Grey-Asexuality has a little more wriggle room though, as does Demisexuality.

 

Anyway, to your question.
Asexuals don't feel the pull to have sex with someone, i.e. sexual attraction, so assuming they still have a libido, their fantasies will most likely be of other people having sex, rather than themselves having sex.
While this kind of Asexual would fall under Aegosexual as well, it is also possible that a Sexual person could imagine themselves having sex and for whatever reason lack the desire to have it in reality.
While rarer, this would also fall under Aegosexual, so Aegosexuality and Asexuality are not the same.

 

And, since I haven't welcomed you to AVEN yet, welcome to AVEN!

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NickyTannock

@CBC I can see where you're coming from, but some people view porn differently, and I can imagine someone who experiences sexual attraction but also wants to watch porn that depicts sex acts they don't want to engage in themselves.

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Just Somebody

Aegosexuality is under the Gre(a)y-sexual umbrella/spectrum and they in fact feel sexual attraction thats why, differently from aces, that have their own umbrella.

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Yatagarasu

...Isn't that just autochorissexuality? Which technically falls under asexuality.

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everywhere and nowhere
22 hours ago, Yatagarasu said:

...Isn't that just autochorissexuality? Which technically falls under asexuality.

It's the same. By the way, the correct spelling of the alternative term is "anegosexual".

I'm not sure if autochorissexuality is asexual by itself - I rather think of it as description of a particular part of a person's sexuality and I think that allosexuals can be autochorissexual as well. That said, it seems that aces are much more likely to experience it. We've also discussed it a bit at the Polish asexuality forum and, according to one user, some allosexuals she had asked were genuinely surprised that "there is such a thing" as fantasising in third person.

To me it's natural - I have a libido, but I'm also sex-averse, I have strong negative feelings towards the idea of personally having sex. So third person fantasies are the only option for me. And this is probably exactly why autochorissexuality seems to be "an ace thing".

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Just Somebody
41 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said:

It's the same. By the way, the correct spelling of the alternative term is "anegosexual".

I'm not sure if autochorissexuality is asexual by itself - I rather think of it as description of a particular part of a person's sexuality and I think that allosexuals can be autochorissexual as well. That said, it seems that aces are much more likely to experience it. We've also discussed it a bit at the Polish asexuality forum and, according to one user, some allosexuals she had asked were genuinely surprised that "there is such a thing" as fantasising in third person.

To me it's natural - I have a libido, but I'm also sex-averse, I have strong negative feelings towards the idea of personally having sex. So third person fantasies are the only option for me. And this is probably exactly why autochorissexuality seems to be "an ace thing".

Saying anegosexuality is in the ace umbrella, is actually misleading, there's people like somniosexuals who only feel attraction to people in their dreams,  fictosexuals who only feel attraction to fictional characters, objectumsexuals who only feel attracted to objects sexually,  limnosexuals who feel attracted sexually to depictions of sexuality,  etc,  all these people just like anegosexuals feel pleasure when looking sexually at stuff, and they're in the gray umbrella , far from aces, that are disconnected from any form of  sexual pleasure inside their minds.

 

Being anegosexual is different from being an ace with libido.

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It's a common experience among "regular" sexual folks as well. "Anego" / "Aego" / "Autochoris" / whatevs on its own isn't very helpful when it comes to distinguishing sexualities.

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On 7/11/2018 at 8:36 AM, Nowhere Girl said:

That said, it seems that aces are much more likely to experience it.

It's much more likely that the a certain sort of people who end up on AVEN (and Tumblr!) have to pick apart their masturbation fantasies and find a special name for them :P a LOT of people have sexual fantasies they themselves aren't involved in (think about guys who love to watch lesbian porn as one random example - it's hot watching chicks get off together so of course someone into that will be likely to think about it while they masturbate, that's just one example among many!!).

 

So yeah, it's more that most sexual people know that their sexual fantasies are just that, sexual fantasies. They don't feel the need to pick them apart and label them. 

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And now yet another term shows up: somniosexual.   Ye gods, people.  

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3 hours ago, Sally said:

And now yet another term shows up: somniosexual.   Ye gods, people.  

WTF is that?

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11 minutes ago, CBC said:

My question as well. Sounds like people who want sex only when they're sleepy or asleep.

Legit. The Urban Dictionary entry even has a their/there/they're fail in it :D

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Alejandrogynous

I'm one of those that could technically fall into this category, autochoris / anego / aego / leggo-my-eggo. And while it might be interesting topic to think about (unrelated to asexuality), I'd never label myself with any of these, because... TMI? Seriously. I'm really open and I'll overshare about anything but even I don't want to go around introducing myself to people with my masturbation habits. "Hi! I'm Alex, I don't like sex but I masturbate in the third person." Whyy?? I don't desire sex with other people, which makes me asexual, and that's all anybody else needs to know about me.

 

Though I guess if I had to ID as one of these, 'aego' makes me sound like Aegon the Conqueror. Or like I'm only sexual for Aegon the Conqueror. That should set realistic expectations for people who want to screw me. :P Forge a new iron throne and then we'll talk.

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On 7/10/2018 at 6:37 PM, Homer said:

It's a common experience among "regular" sexual folks as well. "Anego" / "Aego" / "Autochoris" / whatevs on its own isn't very helpful when it comes to distinguishing sexualities.

Citation Needed.

Two studies (2014 and 2017, Yule/Brotto/Gorzalka) that compare sexual fantasy among asexuals to a sexual control group found that asexuals were significantly more likely to have fantasies that did not involve themselves or that did not involve other people. Those were actually the two most significant differences between the two groups on that measure.

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@Pramana I can give the citation :Yule, Brotto and Gorzalka, 2014 Sexual  fantasy and masturbation among asexual individuals .It's downloadable from https://researchgate.net

I referred to it on a blog post about aegosexuality/ anego / autochorriss etc a few weeks ago https://polyallsorts.wordpress.com

If labels help then I see nothing wrong with them. I'm sure I'm aegoace and there are occasions when it is relevant or helpful for me to use that label (as in the blog post ) Usually, though, it isn't relevant or helpful so I just use asexual.

 

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  • 1 year later...
On 7/12/2018 at 9:36 AM, Alejandrogynous said:

"Hi! I'm Alex, I don't like sex but I masturbate in the third person." 

Are... Are you me? Well I agree with you on most parts although I do tell  people I am SUPER close too or internet people, such as your lovely selves, because I sometimes share sexual stuff and often get asked my sexuality. Although in the beginning I would just say i'm ace, people wold question that and say "Well maybe your aromantic but you DEFINITELY not asexual because you like *some sexual thing*!" and while I could fight the ignorance of people I would much rather just clarify with a title that fits me more closely and is less broad (so there isn't room for debate).  ~Alex

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Snow in the background
On 7/9/2018 at 11:41 PM, MichaelTannock said:

@CBC I can see where you're coming from, but some people view porn differently, and I can imagine someone who experiences sexual attraction but also wants to watch porn that depicts sex acts they don't want to engage in themselves.

Yes. 

I am grey sexual and experience some sexual attraction from time to time. I sometimes watch adult movies (to be honest with you, I use it as a coping mechanism for loneliness).

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  • 4 months later...

Hi, aegosexual here. I don't mind answering your question and i'm not offended by it. It is good to ask questions if you don't understand something.

 

So aegosexual is just a just a specific terms for one of many different sexualities under the umbrella of asexuality. Some people like to identify themselves by very specific labels that they feel matches more closely to their personal experience. All asexuals experience an lack of sexual attraction to some degree, and that is true for aegosexuals too. Usually I just call myself asexual, as I don't care too much for specific labels, but when I am discussing sexuality I will identify myself as aegosexual so that others can get a better understanding of me a person.

 

While I have a sex drive, and can be aroused by watching pornographic material, i do not get sexually attracted to others. I never look at somebody and think to myself, "Wow they are so hot, i really want to kiss/have sex with that person." In a relationship, I do not want to kiss or have sex with my par tner. So while aegosexuals can be sexually aroused, it is never directed at a specific person of interest.

 

I hope that answers your question, but if it doesn't ill be happy to follow up

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SiegeDragonfly

Honestly, the labels help me feel less crazy.  And since my "3rd-person sexuality" and "3rd-person romanticism" (yup, I'm including it) has a name I can describe it to people, then point to it and say, "It's a real thing," and "Look, I'm not the only one."

 

This was one of the things that kept me from identifying as asexual when I first heard the term.  Finding out that this is one of the many different variations of asexuality helped clarify things for me.  Personally, I'm not looking for more divisions.  I'm just looking for understanding.

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even_oddly_aspec

Hey, aegosexual person here.

 

There seems to be a lot of misunderstandings and negative assumptions in the replies, so I'll explain to you my experience:

 

  • I think people are hot/sexy, but I don't want to have sex with them.  I don't want to do sexual things with them either.
  • I'm sexually attracted to secondary sex characteristics, but not primary sex characteristics. So not genitals, but other parts yes.
  • I'm sex positive for other people, but personally things including genitals just gross me out. especially when bodily fluids are involved.
  • I have no concious libido, and very little physical libido. I can get turned on while making out w/ someone, but that's about it.
  • I don't masterbate, I don't watch porn, I don't fantasize about having sex. I don't even have sex dreams.
  • I DO desire intimacy: I like cuddling, I like kissing, I like physical affection/mushiness. I'm actually a very touch-y person. I probably wouldn't kiss someone I wasn't sexually attracted to, though.

I consider myself on the asexual spectrum, because what I experience is distinctly different from and distinctly less sexual than the allosexual experience.

 

(Yes, it is the same thing as autochoris. The official name was changed because autochoris is the name of a philia, that got transferred to a sexuality. It pathologizes it.)

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  • 3 weeks later...
Thejmorning

Aegosexual or autochorrsexual I would more describe it as wanting sex in your head but not in real life. You fantise like you are some play boy and you do everything with girls but it's all in your head and you don't want that in real life infact im quite sex repulsed in real life. I have recently started identifying as aegosexual. Also I would say it's different from sex to as I still don't understand what sexy or hot means in not sure how I would describe my mental sex partners. All I would say is they are surrounded by mental desire. Feel free to ask anything if you're confused. Be as brutal as you want u don't get offended

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  • 1 month later...

Aegosexual it’s is a type of asexuality. There are many asexuals who are not aroused by porn or such or even turned disgusted by it, even among aegos we are very picky about erotica because we are easily turned off, many allows like being “in the sexual experience” so it’s often designed to “include” the viewer. Aegos often feel like they aren’t ace because of this sexual libido, but equally feel isolated among allows because of their lack of attraction to real people or wanting to do anything with people they are attracted to. It’s a way of saying, yeah you are ace, yeah you have those feelings, but so do these people, so much so that it has a name. It allows aegos to know they are asexual, despite not being perfectly without arousal, or not Demi or whatever. It’s why they title Demi exists or recipio. There’s also an index on this website with all the different types of asexuality 

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  • 2 months later...

Your question is fine! Not all asexuals get aroused, like porn, and/or have sexual fantasies, so the two terms aren't the same by default :)

Now, on a completely different note that isn't addressed to OP, ..It's really upsetting to see some asexuals here are so invalidating towards microlabels. Personally I use aegosexual because

1. Asexual doesn't fit. Simple saying "I do not experience sexual attraction at all" isn't true for me.
2. Demisexual doesn't fit, because I don't experience sexual attraction to people only after an emotional bond is formed.
3. Grey-Ace doesn't fit, because I don't experience sexual attraction rarely to people.
4. Allosexual doesn't fit because I don't feel sexual attraction towards people the way allosexuals do.
5. Fraysexual doesn't fit because I definitely do not experience sexual attraction towards people I just met but fades after we get closer.

Aegosexual fits because I experience aegosexual attraction to people. I classify it as a sexual attraction because I do have fantasies about having sex with that person, just not as myself. Sometimes I change my appearance, other times I just use someone else entirely that isn't me at all, but I never use my real life self. I don't want to have sex with people as myself. Finding the term aegosexual has been liberating and has put a word to my unique experience, and I am very happy about that. 

So no, I will not just call myself asexual, because that is not my sexuality. I am aegosexual, and your intolerance isn't going to change that. Have a good day. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
AsexualQueen27

I believe aegosexual is under the asexuality umbrella, as is apothisexual(sex-repulsed). Aegosexuality is not about sexual attraction, but rather an interest in sexual activities and arousal itself. Aegosexuals often don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone, which is why they are considered asexual.

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AsexualQueen27
On 7/9/2018 at 2:29 PM, CBC said:

It seems like a term that has no real need to exist. If "aegosexuals" don't want partnered sex, they're asexual. End of.

I think the need from this term came from the fact that the stereotype for asexuals is that we all hate sex and anything to do with it, which is not true. Asexuality is different for every asexual. For example, some may enjoy sex even without sexual attraction, while others are disgusted by it. And yes, aegosexuals are asexual because they generally don’t feel sexual attraction(unless they’re grey-ace or demisexual). The specific label is just like saying you’re sex repulsed or sex favorable.

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