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I want to know if I'm gay or maybe asexual?


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For the last few years I've been thinking I'm gay. Because I'm shy and mostly keep to myself. Also I don't have friends and I didn't use to either. I think guys are attractive and when there's a guy I find sexy I just think right away lewd stuff. If I get to know this person even just a little that attraction fades entirely. Is like I only see them attractive if I don't know them nor do I get involved with them. Like I said before. Never been attracted to anyone I met. I don't see myself with that person at all. But I constantly see that person having an amazing relation with an ideal version of me or someone else and that makes me horny. Now if I actually considerate having something with them I totally don't feel like it. It doesn't feel exciting or interesting. I just don't like them that way. Is annoying because I have this idea of the ideal guy that would take my heart but no one is that person. 

I watch gay porn and read a lot of yaoi (I'm a fudanshi) I fantady men do in it with other men, but not me. I want to watch but the idea of me getting into that seems dull. Maybe if I was in love? But then I never feel anything romantic towards anyone. One time I tought I had a crush on someone but later I realized it wasn't him but the idea of a gay relationshion. If you could have sex with an idea I've done it with the idea of gay love almost daily. Now there's a guy that likes me but I just don't feel like liking him. He is super nice and sweet but I don't find him attractive nor do I want to be that close to him. It even feels kind of uncomfortable in a troublesome way. Because that's a present isue I end up having the thought. What if I'm really asexual? Then I looked and found some thing saying there is such a thing as asexuals that still masturbate and feel horny. I just want to know what is my sexuality. If I'm gay why haven't I ever feel attraction to anyone I know? Yet I get horny with the idea of them having sex. 

I want to believe that if I find the answer to what is my sexuality I'll finally know what I should do next about it. Some ideas?

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@972T Hello! Welcome to heAVEN! There's an infinite amount of :cake: here! Take as much as you want!

 

26 minutes ago, 972T said:

Some ideas?

*WARNING* Prepare to be blown away.....

There's a term called fraysexual, which is where someone can feel sexual attraction to strangers only. Attraction fades when that person is no longer a stranger. So, my guess is that you'd identify as homofraysexual.

 

31 minutes ago, 972T said:

But then I never feel anything romantic towards anyone.

So then, I dub ye 'homofraysexual aromantic.' Please correct me if you disagree.

 

Yours Eternally,

The Angel of Eternity

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Welcome! Have some cake 🍰

I agree with all of the above^^, though it's always up to you yourself of course to choose the label that best fits you. 

On top of what @The Angel of Eternity said, you might also identify with the little-known term 'aegosexual' where someone can get sexually aroused by sexual activities they are not involved in e.g. porn, tv shows, books etc., but they do not want to actually have sex themselves.

Anyway I hope you enjoy your time on this site!

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