JodiMichelle

"I’m a 30-year-old Virgin. Go on, Guess Why."

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JodiMichelle

I'm a writer who recently published my asexual story. I'm delighted to have received many positive responses so far... so I thought you, my fellow aces and allies, might enjoy it.

 

Here's a preview. The full article is here.

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Exuberant game show host: Hello and welcome to…

Live studio audience: WHY! IS! SHE! STILL! A! VIRGIN!

Host: That’s right, the name of the show is “Why Is She Still a Virgin?” — The game that mimics everyday life for adult virgins. Today’s contestant is Jodi Tandet.

Jodi, why don’t you tell the nice folks at home a little bit about yourself?

Jodi: OK. Um, hi everyone! I’m Jodi. I recently turned 30. I was born and raised in South Florida, but have lived in Pittsburgh for a year. I love reading, baking, hiking, watching Netlfi

Host: How nice. Isn’t she lovely, folks?

(audience applauds on command)

(opening beats of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” play)

Host: Well you know what that sound means… It’s time to make wild speculations about Jodi’s personal life choices! Alrighty panel, let’s hear it: why do you think Jodi is still a virgin?

25-year-old businessman: She must be a prude!

19-year-old female college student: Is she like super religious?

42-year-old guy: I bet she’s an ugly undesirable bitch!

78-year-old woman: Does she have a hormone imbalance? She really should get that checked out. Ya know, my husband Albert and I —

Host: Thank you, Esther! Next panelist?

A therapist Jodi stopped seeing after one session: Hmmm. She must suffer from undiagnosed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder due to a repressed memory of a childhood sexual trauma.

Jodi’s 7th grade science teacher: She’s surely just waiting for true love! When the right person comes along, she’ll be ready.

Host: Thanks, panelists! In just a moment, Jodi will reveal the real reason she’s still a virgin at the shocking age of thirty. But first, a quick word from our sponsors. Blue Apron…

keep reading

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Blissful_Sins

It's okay I plan on being a virgin that long too and longer :') 

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MichaelTannock

Thank you for sharing.
I'm a 33-year-old virgin.

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Blissful_Sins

I love the story ❤️ I'm about to read the rest in a bit, just need to do something quick

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Poppleacheer

It's good to see all this, I wish I had been more certain of my asexuality before I lost my virginity, but on the other hand, I'm glad I got the confirmation, my curiosity has been forever satisfied 

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Nowhere Girl

Isn't this one yours as well?

Plea from a Virgin: Stop Using “Virgin” as an Insult 👍

And, by the way, thanks for admitting being afraid of sex. Paradoxically, admitting to being afraid is a brave things to do - we are shamed for our anxiety, we are (often) told that only sex-indifferent people can be "really asexual" and that those with a level of active aversion Have A Problem instead... For me it would be yet more difficult to write so openly about being a 37-year old virgin, because I'm not just asexual and sex-averse, I'm also pretty much unattractive and so a perfect target for all the "you couldn't get laid anyway" comments. But still I demand my right to live my life as I want to and at least on this forum nobody judges me for being "assailable" and "satisfying negative stereotypes about asexuals".

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JodiMichelle

@Nowhere Girl yup, that one's mine too!

 

Ah yes, people definitely seem confused by how I can be "really" asexual if I'm scared. For me, my disinterest is the primary factor, but if I didn't have the fear then maybe (key word maybe) I'd try it out. Just to see what the fuss is all about. So, I'd still be asexual.... but not a virgin.

 

And I admire YOU! Your demand to live life on your our terms is incredibly brave in our toxic world... though it shouldn't be. It should be an obvious right.

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MichaelTannock

I'm wondering if that applies to all Non-Heterosexuals?
And by that I mean, if a gay person said they were afraid of sex with the opposite gender, people will think this undermines their orientation, so they don't say it.

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JodiMichelle

oh absolutely, Michael! I imagine that would be true.

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Blissful_Sins

HAHAHAHHAHAH "SEXY FENCING WORLD" I LOVE THIIIIS

I applaud you for writing this amazing story, it explains everything about, not just you but "A-spec" and I love that there's the occasional funny sentence or paragraph and it just makes me smile and feel like I'm actually part of the audience listening. My favorite part was when this guy asked why you wouldn't try sex, maybe you'd like it, and maybe you're a lesbian, try it with a girl and you're like why don't you try it with a guy xd 👏👏👏

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Dande
1 hour ago, JodiMichelle said:

I'm a writer who recently published my asexual story. I'm delighted to have received many positive responses so far... so I thought you, my fellow aces and allies, might enjoy it.

 

Here's a preview. The full article is here.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

 

Exuberant game show host: Hello and welcome to…

Live studio audience: WHY! IS! SHE! STILL! A! VIRGIN!

Host: That’s right, the name of the show is “Why Is She Still a Virgin?” — The game that mimics everyday life for adult virgins. Today’s contestant is Jodi Tandet.

Jodi, why don’t you tell the nice folks at home a little bit about yourself?

Jodi: OK. Um, hi everyone! I’m Jodi. I recently turned 30. I was born and raised in South Florida, but have lived in Pittsburgh for a year. I love reading, baking, hiking, watching Netlfi

Host: How nice. Isn’t she lovely, folks?

(audience applauds on command)

(opening beats of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” play)

Host: Well you know what that sound means… It’s time to make wild speculations about Jodi’s personal life choices! Alrighty panel, let’s hear it: why do you think Jodi is still a virgin?

25-year-old businessman: She must be a prude!

19-year-old female college student: Is she like super religious?

42-year-old guy: I bet she’s an ugly undesirable bitch!

78-year-old woman: Does she have a hormone imbalance? She really should get that checked out. Ya know, my husband Albert and I —

Host: Thank you, Esther! Next panelist?

A therapist Jodi stopped seeing after one session: Hmmm. She must suffer from undiagnosed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder due to a repressed memory of a childhood sexual trauma.

Jodi’s 7th grade science teacher: She’s surely just waiting for true love! When the right person comes along, she’ll be ready.

Host: Thanks, panelists! In just a moment, Jodi will reveal the real reason she’s still a virgin at the shocking age of thirty. But first, a quick word from our sponsors. Blue Apron…

keep reading

Best article on Asexuality that I've ever read!   Thank you for helping me validate myself!

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JodiMichelle

oh my goodness, @Blissful_Sins and @Dande, thank YOU so much! I frequently search around for articles about asexuality and adult virginity; each and every one fills me with comfort. I’m delighted to hear that my story did that for you! I wrote it with that very hope: that it would help others feel seen. 

 

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🚓💨💨

I’m a 30yr old virgin, guess why? You were born in 1988 and you haven’t had sex with anyone. 

 

Is there a prize?

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The Anchorage

Thank you Jodi for sharing this! I think it's a great way to introduce friends/family to the topic! I especially love the fencing analogy! :P 

I can only hope many many people out there will read this and finally cultivate some sort of decency.

 

I think I already sait it in my very first post but it fits here:

You don't actually need to get shot to know that you don't like being shot ;) 

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Ortac

That is a really good article you have written. I like the use of the fencing analogy, I think it is an excellent way of explaining things to anyone who is unable to grasp the concept of asexuality. I have used skiing in the past as a similar analogy, but I think that fencing is a better one, so I will probably go with that in future. 

 

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JodiMichelle

@The Anchorage Thanks so much! Haha I like that shooting analogy as well.

 

@Ortac Thanks so much! I had originally written the full article with fly fishing (the most random boring sport, I could think up) but fencing randomly popped into my brain as I was editing it and I knew I had to use it. The sword/penis metaphor was far too tempting to resist.

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Tuple

Awesome article! And hilarious too! You have such a great sense of humour. I also liked your article "Plea from a Virgin".

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I'mTheDecoy

That was such a good article / well-written story.  Way to engage your reader.

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RainbowFish

This was a fantastic read, & full of affirmations for me. I really appreciate you putting this out into the world. 

 

I've had a serious & very awkward / frustrating / confusing / disheartening feeling of impostor syndrome w/ respect to sex & your "Options" passage resonated SO MUCH with me, I can't even words. 

 

Quote

Or you try it out and make an utter fool of yourself, feeling like a fake. A phony. A clueless sexual impostor. A dumb, unsophisticated virgin not worthy of passing the Test of Compatibility.

 

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JodiMichelle

Thanks for all the kind words! This was scary for me to share—not with you all, my fellow aces and allies, but with many readers who were previously unfamiliar with asexuality or have negative misconceptions about it.

 

Anyway, here are two other pieces I've recently penned, which I imagine many of you can relate to and (hopefully) enjoy:

 

Ugh, Please Don’t Ask Asexual People (like me) These Things

Plea from a Virgin: Stop Using “Virgin” as an Insult

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