Too young?

[bobowag]

Hi there! So recently, I've recently discovered this whole concept of asexuality, and once I learned more about it I was able to confidently and I feel correctly identify myself as a biromantic demisexual. However, even more recently I've been doubting myself if this is actually true or not. I'm 15 years old and this fact has been what's bothering me a bit: Lots of people say that 15 is too young to be able to decide your sexuality because you don't have enough experience yet. This might be true however, that's the thing, I don't have any experience in that area yet because I don't want to. I don't mind if other people have sex but I feel like it's just not for me because I have no interest in it at all, if it's thinking about it or physically doing it. Have I just not hit puberty yet? Am I just not old enough to know? When did you all know? I feel like this is who I am but I'm not sure.

[Guest]

Its your opinion not others. Age doesn't matter. Its how YOU feel. 

[astrogeek]

Heya! I know how you feel. So many people have told me that I just "haven't met the right person" or "had a good experience" yet. It's so frustrating. I want you to know that your feelings and preferences are 100% valid, and it's okay if that's how things stay or if things change over time. How you feel right now is who you are right now. Embrace it!! If the future you discovers that your sexual preferences have changed, that's wonderful! If you remain demi for your whole life, that's wonderful too! And if you decide that no label quite fits, that's also wonderful! Everyone has their own life and experiences and preferences, who is anyone to tell someone else when they can discover a part of themselves?  I hope this helped a bit, and if you wanted to know, I'm 19 and discovered I was asexual a year ago. 

[Homer]

In general, I'd say that anything pre puberty is too young. I don't know you of course, so I don't know how far you are down the road. At your age, a lot of things can look very different a couple of weeks or months from now. It's not a "decision" you make, it's just something you kind of end up with.

 

So don't stress about "labels" or what your peers brag about (90% of those stories are fabricated horseshit). All is well as long as you're okay with what you feel. Maybe you develop an interest in these things later on. Maybe you don't. It's all cool and perfectly acceptable.

[TheAP]

It's possible that you could be asexual. It's also possible that your feelings could change in the future. Don't stress about it. It's okay to identify as asexual even if you're not sure; it's also okay not to label yourself.

[everywhere and nowhere]

7 hours ago, bobowag said:

Have I just not hit puberty yet?

Puberty is also a physical development, so it's impossible not to notice it. If you menstruate, develop breasts etc. - you are already well within puberty. In fact, nowadays it's not uncommon for 15-year-old girls to be physically fully adult, postpubescent (as for myself, I didn't grow anymore at that age, for example). Development of sexual orientation may lag behind physical development a bit, particularly if girls of 9 or 10 years of age hit puberty. Your feelings could change in the future, but they don't have to. While I didn't know the concept of asexuality yet when I was your age, I was already declaring that I won't marry, won't have children and won't have sex when I grow up - and I have done neither of these.

[bobowag]

13 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

Puberty is also a physical development, so it's impossible not to notice it. If you menstruate, develop breasts etc. - you are already well within puberty. In fact, nowadays it's not uncommon for 15-year-old girls to be physically fully adult, postpubescent (as for myself, I didn't grow anymore at that age, for example). Development of sexual orientation may lag behind physical development a bit, particularly if girls of 9 or 10 years of age hit puberty. Your feelings could change in the future, but they don't have to. While I didn't know the concept of asexuality yet when I was your age, I was already declaring that I won't marry, won't have children and won't have sex when I grow up - and I have done neither of these.

Sorry If I was a bit unclear by my previous question of "Have I just not hit puberty yet?". What I meant by this was, have I just not developed sexual attraction yet? Thanks for all the replies and sorry about the confusion if there was any!

[Hazel lights]

Hi, I'm 21 now and I started to identify as asexual when I was 15 as well. People will tell you that you're too young, but I think that 15 is a good age to identify, since by now it's probably been a couple years since beginning puberty. Sure it's possible that your identity could change, but your experiences and labels right now are valid too. You're old enough to know that what you experience is different from most other high schoolers. Recently I've been questioning my sexual orientation, though I'm still definitely on the asexual spectrum. However, even if I did now come to identify as no longer on the asexual spectrum, I would still say that I used to be asexual. I also didn't have any sort of physical experience with anyone when I was your age. I've kissed many people since then, and have done some sexual experimentation, and can say that in my case experimenting didn't make things any more clear. If anything it made things more confusing, because you can enjoy sexual activity, even if you're not attracted to anyone.  Whether or not you experience sexual attraction is something that you just know.