Jump to content

Non-heteroromantic aces/graces and non-heterosexual aros/grey-aros


CaityBlue

Which did/do you feel more nervous about coming out as?  

28 members have voted

  1. 1. Which did/do you feel more nervous about coming out as?

    • Asexual more than non-heteroromantic
      21
    • Aromantic more than non-heterosexual
      2
    • Grey-ace more than non-heteroromantic
      1
    • Grey-aro more than non-heterosexual
      0
    • I did not/do not feel nervous about coming out as non-heteroromantic
      0
    • I did not/do not feel nervous about coming out as non-heterosexual
      0
    • I did not/do not feel nervous about coming out as asexual
      3
    • I did not/do not feel nervous about coming out as aromantic
      1
    • I did not/do not feel nervous about coming out as grey-ace
      0
    • I did not/do not feel nervous about coming out as grey-aro
      0
    • I did not/do not feel nervous about either
      0
  2. 2. What do you identify as?

    • Asexual and non-heteroromantic
      22
    • Grey-asexual and non-heteroromantic
      1
    • Aromantic and non-heterosexual
      2
    • Grey-aromantic and non-heterosexual
      0
    • Grey-aro and grey-ace, non-heterosexual (as applies)
      1
    • Grey-aro and grey-ace, non-heteroromantic (as applies)
      0
    • Grey-aro and grey-ace, non-heterosexual and non-heteroromantic (as applies)
      2
  3. 3. If aromantic, have you come out as such?

    • Yes
      5
    • No
      23
  4. 4. If grey-aro, have you come out as such?

    • Yes
      2
    • No
      26
  5. 5. If asexual, have you come out as such?

    • Yes
      15
    • No
      13
  6. 6. If grey-ace, have you come out as such?

    • Yes
      1
    • No
      27
  7. 7. If non-heteroromantic, have you come out as such?

    • Yes
      12
    • No
      16
  8. 8. If non-heterosexual, have you come out as such?

    • Yes
      11
    • No
      17

This poll is closed to new votes


Recommended Posts

Just wondering about the experiences of fellow non-heteroromantic/non-heterosexual people on the ace/aro spectrums.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I wanted to answer, but in the yes/no question an option not applicable is missing. I don't want skew the questions I can't answer.

Link to post
Share on other sites
girlwiththelongskirt

Really interesting, I'm very curious. I found it really hard to decide what I'm more nervous about. I have only told three people in my life about my sexuality (eventhough I've been questioning for two years and known for nearly a year). For me the fear of their reaction isn't the main reason I haven't told people, it's the fact that I have to except it myself (and that's something I really struggle with). I haven't told anyone I think I'm aromantic because I'm not able to except that at all at the moment, the fact that I'm asexual I'm starting to come to turn with so I've told three people (but when I do I imidiatly explain that that doesn't mean I have to be aromantic, eventhough I'm pretty sure I'm on the aromantic spectrum aswell).

Link to post
Share on other sites

Question 1 is missing options for feeling more nervous about coming out as non-het than ace/aro.

Link to post
Share on other sites

This survey could use some editing, as suggested above. :) 

 

I am a non-heteroromantic ace.

I am basically out as ace (I have told everyone that I feel like telling anything like that, but my family does not accept it). I am NOT out as non-heteroromantic. I fear for my familial stability and possibly being sent to corrective therapy and the like. Only my friends at school (most of them) and my cousin know. Way more nervous about non-heteroromantic than ace.

Link to post
Share on other sites

To answer your questions:

 

1. Which did/do you feel more nervous about coming out as?

For me it is easier to come out as bi/pan than as (gray) asexual, because with bi most people have some idea what this means.

 

2. What do you identify as?

bi/pan (romantic?) gray asexual

 

5, .6., 7. Have you come out as asexual/gray asexual/non-heterorantic?

I've come out to different people as asexual or non-heteroromantic. This really depends on the person. For some persons I just come out as bi or non-hetterosexual, because I don't want to explain details of my sexuality to them. With people I care more about I come out as bi/pan (romantic) and asexual and maybe add the gray part. I queer circles I am out as bi/pan asexual and usually add that I am somewhere in the gray area of (a)sexuality.

 

And there is in addition my gender identity which I am only comfortable to discuss in some queer spaces. In cis gay spaces I often don't feel comfortable to discuss this, as I heard to much dismissive comments by cis gay men about trans and non-binary people.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte

I'm aromantic and asexual, so the poll isn't really simple to answer.

 

As far as nervousness goes, I don't really worry about coming out as asexual. I never really tried to hide it; I simply never felt the need to tell people. Coming out as trans was a totally different story, riddled with indescribably bad anxiety as I rode the intense rollercoaster ride that was my early medical transition. No comparison. Nowadays, I'm more confident, but my trans identity is far more likely to come up before my orientation does. People only ask me my orientation if they know I'm trans, and I'm just not really that affected if people invalidate my asexuality. I just roll my eyes and keep living my life. Nobody has ever doubted me when I say I'm trans, but I'm far more sensitive to things like misgendering and transphobia than I am ace invalidation.

 

I don't always explicitly say I'm aromantic (nor am I explicit about the asexual label), but I do describe my experiences in accordance to my lack of romantic and sexual attraction. Now, I do have this complicated relationship with sensual touch, but I've only experienced sensual attraction for one person, (a very dear friend,) so while I have a feeling that I prefer to get tactile with men, it's hard for me to describe a pattern when it's only happened once. I give mixed vibes in regards to orientation, and that would probably be more proof for the people who are convinced that I'm gay, so I am choosy about who I share that information with.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m gray-panromantic asexual, and although I realized I was ace months before realizing I was pan, I was much more nervous to come out as ace, since all of my friends and immediate family are accepting of non-straight orientations, but there’s so little ace visibility that before I came out as ace, I had no idea whether or not the people in my life would know what it meant, let alone whether or not they would believe me. Fortunately, everything turned out fine, and my dad is probably thrilled that I don’t plan on ever having sex.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...

This was a little odd for me. I'm aro ace, and therefore both non-hetoromantic and non-heterosexual. So, the wording's a little odd. I was super nervous about coming out as ace, because it was the first time I realized I was something 'different'. I was in denial for years about it, too. Aro wasn't that bad for me. Although, I was hoping I'd be hetero in some way when I was figuring it out. (At the very least in the grey-heteroromantic area.) I thought at least part of me would be 'normal'. Nope, totally aro. About as aro as you can get. I was nervous again when I realized I was agender, and wanted to come out again. I've had less negativity with that than I did with coming out as aro ace. So far, anyways. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
To Each Their Own

Another Aro/Ace person here. There isn’t anyway to answer this poll properly so I couldn’t add my answers.

 

In answer to your question, I wasn’t nervous about coming out as either Aro or Ace. I want people to know up front that I’m NOT interested and that I’m not going to ever be interested (so please don’t waste your efforts on me).

Link to post
Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza

I start off with asexual, then if that goes well aro (though they usually assume that anyway cos sex=love, duh). The only people that know about the mecha part are you guys (aren't you special?) and some very close friends, cos I can't be arsed dealing with that shizzle.

Link to post
Share on other sites
J. van Deijck
On 6/24/2018 at 10:21 AM, Bloc said:

I wanted to answer, but in the yes/no question an option not applicable is missing. I don't want skew the questions I can't answer.

I also can't answer because I was always more nervous about coming out as homoromantic than as asexual.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I wasn't sure how to answer the questions above with the given answer options and still remain accurate, so I'll put my answers here:

  1. What did/do you feel most nervous about coming out as?
    • Between the two, I was more nervous about coming out as non-heteroromantic but only in regards to my mom. In other cases where I have come out, nervous wouldn't be the right word. I was more uncomfortable because I don't talk about my orientation often - I don't think it is really anyone else's business unless I choose to tell them.
  2. What do you identify as?
    • Biromantic ace
  3. If aromantic/gray-aro/gray-ace, have you come out as such?
    • n/a
  4. If asexual/non-heteroromantic/non-heterosexual, have you come out as such?
    • I have come out to everyone in my immediate family as well as three friends with pretty positive reactions all around.
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 11 months later...

@CaityBlue

 

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organisation, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to restart new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

  

iff, Census Forum Moderator

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...