Hey it's me Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 Hi, I've been wondering something. So, I have had a crush before, but now that I'm over him, my feelings seem to have changed. I would consider myself somewhere on the aro spectrum, but not sure where, bc I'm an odd ball. See I have this version of me in my head who's different than me, moreso who I want to be. I daydream about being with the characters of a fandom, and sometimes I dream that I'm like... kissing them... but am in like a fun relationship where we're close friends, but still kiss... would that be called a friend with benefits? But in reality, I'm actually grossed out by any sexual gestures, I couldn't imagine myself, my real self, in a relationship with anything romantic or sexual. I also don't find a topless person sexual. As an artist-in-training, I am intrigued by how that body looks, and how it could be a good drawing reference. However, I find that after being ignored by my previous crush, I'm almost a bit scared that I'll crush on him again... Also, would it be a crush if I found him very cute and couldn't act normally around him if in reality, I didn't actually want anything, I just thought I did in my head? Aaaand every once in a while I find myself thinking Oh no she's cute or she looks real good in those clothes He's got a really cute face But I'll be over it like in less than a day Oh yeah, also I'm a huge fangirl and I will make incoherent noises when I see cute fluff between them But if it's me then no Help I'm so confused Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 Welcome to AVEN! It's important to remember that what you fantasise about isn't necessarily in alignment with what you may want in reality. Or to put it another way, the romantic and sexual orientation of your fantasy version of yourself won't have anything to do with your real romantic and sexual orientation. There are also other kinds of attraction besides romantic and sexual. One is Aesthetic, the desire to admire someone's beauty. And another is Sensual, the desire for intimate non-sexual physical contact like a hug. Link to post Share on other sites
Hey it's me Posted June 22, 2018 Author Share Posted June 22, 2018 ...so would I be aro ace? That's what I would think, but there are so many other things that are under that... Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 If you don't want a romantic relationship, and you don't want a sexual relationship, yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Nic4110 Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 There is something I've heard of that's like an aromantic crush. It's called a squish. It's where you want to be really close friends with someone and you want to be able to go to them with anything and basically be closer than best friends, but not in a romantic relationship. Maybe that's helpful, maybe it's not, idk just putting that info out there for ya. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 @Nic4110 Welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
Hey it's me Posted June 25, 2018 Author Share Posted June 25, 2018 On 6/22/2018 at 11:34 PM, Nic4110 said: There is something I've heard of that's like an aromantic crush. It's called a squish. It's where you want to be really close friends with someone and you want to be able to go to them with anything and basically be closer than best friends, but not in a romantic relationship. Maybe that's helpful, maybe it's not, idk just putting that info out there for ya. Yeah, my feelings for him were... now that I look back, ridiculous. I would call him "senpai" in my head, and be giddy if he greeted me. Even typing this i am looking back and slapping myself because i was so stupid. I read somewhere that you can't /become/ aromantic, but I just feel that I did... I am literally disgusted by my former feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Nic4110 Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 19 hours ago, Hey it's me said: Yeah, my feelings for him were... now that I look back, ridiculous. I would call him "senpai" in my head, and be giddy if he greeted me. Even typing this i am looking back and slapping myself because i was so stupid. I read somewhere that you can't /become/ aromantic, but I just feel that I did... I am literally disgusted by my former feelings. Yeah that sounds like what I read about a squish. Sometimes it can feel like what a crush would feel like. And as you grow and mature as a person, I would say that yes it is possible to become aromatic. I used to be heteroromantic because I was always taught that girls could only like guys. As I learned more about myself and my sexuality and gender, I now think I'm either bi or polyromantic. (Haven't figured that but out yet) So maybe you did become aro, maybe it was a squish, that's up to you to decide. Link to post Share on other sites
Hey it's me Posted June 30, 2018 Author Share Posted June 30, 2018 Idek if it was just bc he was my first guy friend, and I didn't really know that I could be just friends, and we were real young when we met, and I've liked him for what, 8 years? Then boom, I don't want any guy in my life and I don't find anyone really like, sexually attractive... Yeah idk Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.