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My friend won’t accpet I’m asexual. So what do I do?


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I tried to tell her so many times and she just won’t get it. She keeps telling me not to be closed minded and I might change, when really she is being closed minded. I accept that maybe I will change but for now I know what I am. I don’t know what to say anymore so how do I tell her that I’m asexual. She keeps using the Bible against me. Even though we both believe the God she is taking the Bible out of context. I’ve never felt so free until I found out about a sexuality and aromantic. I think it’s just well indtended ignorance and curiousity coming from her mouth but still... it hurt. It’s just been a bad week at that made it worse. So what do I do? 

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Chris Zulas

If you can, I'd just leave 'em TBH. God's great but if she's using it that way and just willfully not even considering that you are you, not doing any research (and TBH requiring research is as bad) what else could they do with this to you? Maybe I'm way off, you know them better than me, but it sounds like they're just not gonna accept you. The people who did that to me never did, but hopefully I'm wrong in your case.

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just realise that her opinion matters as much as anyone else's........basically it doesn't matter at all.

 

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Blissful_Sins
5 minutes ago, Kathryn_K said:

just realise that her opinion matters as much as anyone else's........basically it doesn't matter at all.

 

Exactly, or, "Others opinions of you are none of your business."

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MsKittenFluff

New International Version Matthew 19:10
For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others--and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.

 

Eunuch means a person castrated or born without sexual desires and/or with some kind of deformity or hormonal imbalance as spoken of in this verse. Christians are often so engrossed with "procreation and marriage" they completely forget and cannot comprehend that yes, people who CAN live alone, without sex, do exist and not only are they okay and acceptable, it is specifically spoken of in the bible and no way held below those who "must marry" to avoid burning in their desires.

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13 minutes ago, Chris Zulas said:

If you can, I'd just leave 'em TBH.

Yep. You don't need anyone to accept your identity in order for it to be valid!

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NickyTannock

@Joslyn  I'll be honest, Bible verses don't mean anything to me because I don't believe any of it.
But for your question, I don't think there's anything you can do to change her mind, but if you want to try anyway, I'd share stories from other Asexuals.
These five for example: 

https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/london-life/5-people-explain-what-being-asexual-in-your-20s-and-30s-really-feels-like-a3270371.html

 

My advice though, is to ignore what she says about it, and go on with your life. i.e. respond dismissively to her uninformed criticism, or not at all.

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globetrotter85

If your friend won't accept you for who you are, are they really your friend?...

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If she is not even willing to hear you out and keep an open mind then I think you should get a new friend. You might try asking her to spend some time on AVEN, really learn about asexuality from sources other than just you so that she sees that actually this is a thing a lot of people feel, but if she isn't willing to do that little then I'd say she's not a very good friend in the first place and you are better off without her. 

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ôÿē èîęēú ïė ēôēįîûôø

@Joslyn If it makes you feel any better, a guy in my living arrangement at university told me he thought I was lying when I told him I was ace. It annoyed me, but I took it as a reminder that you are the only one who can truly validate yourself. I would look at it that way.

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@Joslyn I had been in the same situation as you, except my former friend and I are both atheïst. I'll be straight forward with this: Your friend is from then on not a friend. A real friend would have accepted you. I agree with all the people who mentioned that you should leave them. They're not worth of your time. I learned from my experience that the longer you stay with such a person, you will just develop hatred towards them.

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2 hours ago, Joslyn said:

So what do I do? 

Refuse to have sex with her!

 

(I'm joking)

I think others have offered some good advice. 

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"I am sorry you find yourself unable to stand behind me in this way. I hope this does not prevent you from standing behind me in other ways in the future"

 

or you could have a bible verse off. I do not know how you bible verse'rs do.

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