LoveWinter Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 While reading posts here and watching videos on YouTube , I’ve noticed that many asexuals say that they never had childhood or teenage crushes. This confuses me because I’m pretty sure I’m ace, but I’ve had crushes in my life, even when I was young. Of course, I didn’t want sex; I just thought they were cute and I wanted to date them. Does anyone want to weigh in on this? I’m feeling confused in my identity again. Thanks! 😁 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
4108bn Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 I think part of this comes down to distinctions in romantic orientation. I've DEFINITELY had crushes, and even up until recently. I don't expect myself to NOT have crushes. I think of myself as some type of romantic, but I don't know who exactly or how much I experience that attraction or why I feel it. But yes! Some aces have crushes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
texpika96 Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Me as a demi, i've had crushes during my childhood and early teen years with girls at school. 3 separate occasions but they didn't get too far sadly then i had crushes in my later teen years also and well didn't go so well either. i mean i do consider myself heteroromantic so i do fall for a girl romantically but point is aces, greys and demis can have crushes it just depends on the person. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alamoraine Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Crushes are more or less all I've EVER had; I can do platonic love pretty easily, but anything deviating towards the sexual aspect for me is romantic Roundup. XP At least my husband is okay with my having crushes because he knows for a fact that nothing beyond that will ever happen. At any rate, I concur with those above me; aces have different ideas of romance (or none at all); you can have them or not and easily still be ace. ^^ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 It sounds like you’re just more of a romantic person then those particular YouTubers. Romantic attraction doesn’t mean sexual attraction, so it doesn’t affect your asexuality. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Peachyy Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 my childhood crushes were incredibly less graphic than the ones I have now. In fact, I even thought that kissing and romance of any kind was disgusting despite the fact that I was always sweet on at least one kid in my class. I didn't have sexual crushes until I was well into middle school. A child's idea of a crush is definitely not the same as an adult. I'm sure some people never had any type of crush, it's possible, but most the time I think considering the level of attachment kids have to the idea... everyone had crushes when they were kids. it meant something different back then to us. What kid do you talk to who says anything the same as how an adult would when asked about their "crush"? Saying you never had a crush just because there was never a time you wanted to have sex is kind of silly. Kids will have crushes before they even have a clue about romance or sex. Romance to a kid, even, is starkly different than an adults. Honestly, if a grown person says they never had crushes I'm included to think they've forgotten... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iam135 Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 I definitely agree with other people's sentiments in that crushes don't have to be sexual in nature at all, they can just be romantic which is pretty much what you described. So I don't think that would change whether or not you are asexual - it would really only be something to consider if you were debating whether or not you're aromantic (which you don't appear to be as you've listed yourself as heteroromantic in your profile). Also, it would be worth finding out if those YouTubers are aromantic asexuals or romantic asexuals, as that could be the reason why you're feeling that discrepancy when comparing your experiences to theirs. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 I had non-sexual crush-like obsessions with people even at the age of six. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LoveWinter Posted June 21, 2018 Author Share Posted June 21, 2018 Thanks! This has helped with my confusion a lot! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WonderlandRogue Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 I think having crushes or not having crushes as a child is very much dependant on the individual. My experience I never had crushes based on celebrities but often on friendships etc once I got to know them but they definitely weren't in a sexual nature. Sometimes I think people forget that romantic and sexual attraction are separate so as an asexual you can still experience having a crush or romantic attraction? It perfectly okay to experience crushes and perfectly okay if you don't? But that's just my opinion. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 I got hit with a harsh dose of reality and cynicism cause my parents divorced when I was a kid. So yeah, I kinda had a negative view of romance from a young age, thus I never had any crushes (and I haven’t developed any since childhood either). In fact, I had a period in life where I actively thought romance was stupid. If it didn’t work for mom and dad, why should I care about it? So yeah, crushes were very conspicuously absent in my life even as a kid. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 I only ever had one , not even a real person, but a character in a children's show at the time and on reflection, it wasn't even a sexual thing, more of a father figure. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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