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Sywei

About porn for sexuals

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Sywei

If you are a sexual, how exactly do you view porn? Is it something as an object of desire or stimulus?

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Traveler40

I used to watch quite a bit of porn for stimulus, inspiration and education.  Porn holds me back and ties my overall experience down by limiting the breadth and depth of my orgasms. It took a long time to work that out, but unless I’m very tight on time and need to knock one out quickly, I don’t use porn anymore.

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CBC

I rarely watch it. I guess seeing people in a sexual situation can be a visual turn-on, but it's not something I require or enjoy to any great degree, so I mostly don't bother.

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Sywei

So mainly stimulus then, thanks!

 

Guess it really does fall in line with the mirror neuron theory.

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uhtred

Its partially a form of sex toy, partially a source of ideas. Clearly inferior to sex with a real person if that is an option. 

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Sywei
3 hours ago, uhtred said:

Its partially a form of sex toy, partially a source of ideas. Clearly inferior to sex with a real person if that is an option. 

Why ideas? And what makes it inferior?

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Telecaster68
16 hours ago, Sywei said:

So mainly stimulus then, thanks!

 

Guess it really does fall in line with the mirror neuron theory.

Yep, pretty text book. 

 

12 minutes ago, Sywei said:

Why ideas? And what makes it inferior?

For me, ideas because they may be doing things I haven't thought of but seem appealing to try. Not as good as partnered sex because for sexuals, partnered sex is pretty much always better than masturbation. 

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uhtred
1 hour ago, Sywei said:

Why ideas? And what makes it inferior?

To me, sex is mostly about the 2-way interaction with another person, each doing things to please the other, along with the feeling of being desired. 

 

Porn is just vaguely fun.  It provides some input for fantasies when a partner isn't available. 

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Serran

If you had a willing, enthusiastic partner available whenever, would you ever choose porn over them?

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Skywise
On 6/18/2018 at 8:17 PM, Sywei said:

If you are a sexual, how exactly do you view porn? Is it something as an object of desire or stimulus?

I would say titillation as opposed to stimulation.

 

1 hour ago, Serran said:

If you had a willing, enthusiastic partner available whenever, would you ever choose porn over them?

I can't think of any instance where I would choose porn over a willing partner let alone enthusiastic.

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Sywei
3 hours ago, Serran said:

If you had a willing, enthusiastic partner available whenever, would you ever choose porn over them?

Never had a sex partner, so idk. I'm just indifferent to that.

 

If sex has no physical difference then I don't see why not?

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Telecaster68
4 hours ago, Serran said:

If you had a willing, enthusiastic partner available whenever, would you ever choose porn over them?

Nope. 

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Telecaster68
1 hour ago, Sywei said:

Never had a sex partner, so idk. I'm just indifferent to that.

 

If sex has no physical difference then I don't see why not?

Sex has a huge physical and more importantly emotional difference to using porn. 

 

It's like playing in a soccer team compared to kicking a ball against a wall. 

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Sywei
9 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Sex has a huge physical and more importantly emotional difference to using porn. 

 

It's like playing in a soccer team compared to kicking a ball against a wall. 

Well, I know for certain if I have no inclination to even consider any person I meet for any sexual reason, I can immediately rule out any emotional difference other than attachment and/or addiction.

 

As for the kicking the ball, I don't see the difference as you still are kicking a ball... I guess that's what indifference is whether you play with others or by yourself.

 

Though stimulation from porn, the question now becomes WHY does it cause stimulation and the only reason I can even come up with is mirror neurons, we empathize with the actors/actresses and mirror the feeling in us? But during sex and when mutual sexual attraction comes into play, a positive feedback cycle (You might wanna google this) happens and the sex participants continuously build on each other's sex feeling until climax. With porn, there is no continuous building but instead a fixed level based on user perception I guess.

 

I'm guessing this is why sex > porn for you all right? (At least I hope so, this is fun to research)

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CBC
5 hours ago, Serran said:

If you had a willing, enthusiastic partner available whenever, would you ever choose porn over them?

Definitely not for me. I mean, I barely ever look at porn anyway, I don't find it particularly fulfilling or satisfying in any way. I wouldn't even bother describing it as fun (for me personally). I'd be insane to choose that over a willing and enthusiastic partner.

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Telecaster68
1 hour ago, Sywei said:

Well, I know for certain if I have no inclination to even consider any person I meet for any sexual reason, I can immediately rule out any emotional difference other than attachment and/or addiction.

 

As for the kicking the ball, I don't see the difference as you still are kicking a ball... I guess that's what indifference is whether you play with others or by yourself.

 

Though stimulation from porn, the question now becomes WHY does it cause stimulation and the only reason I can even come up with is mirror neurons, we empathize with the actors/actresses and mirror the feeling in us? But during sex and when mutual sexual attraction comes into play, a positive feedback cycle (You might wanna google this) happens and the sex participants continuously build on each other's sex feeling until climax. With porn, there is no continuous building but instead a fixed level based on user perception I guess.

 

I'm guessing this is why sex > porn for you all right? (At least I hope so, this is fun to research)

You're exactly right. Actually porn is more like watching a football match on TV. 

 

Playing with others makes the activity less about kicking a ball and almost entirely about interaction, sharing an experience, which most people find far more satisfying than manipulating an inanimate object. 

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Sywei
2 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

You're exactly right. Actually porn is more like watching a football match on TV. 

 

Playing with others makes the activity less about kicking a ball and almost entirely about interaction, sharing an experience, which most people find far more satisfying than manipulating an inanimate object. 

Still begs the question on why that positive feedback cycle doesn't work in asexuals... meh.

 

I'll figure it out eventually. Thanks a ton dude!

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Homer
4 hours ago, Sywei said:

Still begs the question on why that positive feedback cycle doesn't work in asexuals... meh. 

Because different strokes for different folks :) Watching Argentina v Iceland from the stands was great fun, one of the best things I ever witnessed in 20+ years of football travels. I always say "Show me someone who can make me feel like that and I'll reconsider :D". It's just way more natural to me than sex could be. So much work...

 

Since we are at sports analogies... it's quite obvious that not every match can come even remotely close to Argentina v Iceland. I have seen more dull, blah and frustrating matches than I care to admit. Sports fans are like truffle pigs, often digging through dirt until they find a gem. Does sex work similarly for you folks? Do you have to try a few times and be patient until something "magical" happens or is it just something you can recreate as you please?

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Traveler40
7 hours ago, Sywei said:

Though stimulation from porn, the question now becomes WHY does it cause stimulation and the only reason I can even come up with is mirror neurons, we empathize with the actors/actresses and mirror the feeling in us? But during sex and when mutual sexual attraction comes into play, a positive feedback cycle (You might wanna google this) happens and the sex participants continuously build on each other's sex feeling until climax. With porn, there is no continuous building but instead a fixed level based on user perception I guess.

It’s said that the largest sex organ is the brain. When combining mental stimulation (porn, literature, phone sex or other avenue) with direct physical stimulation of our sex organs magic happens. Added stimulus of the shared experience for sexuals makes it that much better both mentally and physically but also emotionally - the trifecta really.

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uhtred
22 hours ago, Serran said:

If you had a willing, enthusiastic partner available whenever, would you ever choose porn over them?

Not me.  Some people though, I think porn for some is addictive and the become dependent on it.  Like any addiction it can cause them to lose interest in everything else.  Not really any stranger than a gambling addiction which can also be very destructive. 

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ryn2
12 hours ago, uhtred said:

Not me.  Some people though, I think porn for some is addictive and the become dependent on it.  Like any addiction it can cause them to lose interest in everything else.  Not really any stranger than a gambling addiction which can also be very destructive. 

This was my partner prior to/for the first few years of our relationship, although he would tell you it was normal interest and I was the one blowing it out of proportion.

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uhtred
On 6/21/2018 at 5:07 AM, ryn2 said:

This was my partner prior to/for the first few years of our relationship, although he would tell you it was normal interest and I was the one blowing it out of proportion.

I see the dividing point as when someone turns down their partner for sex and instead consumes porn.    Another big issue is if they try to insist on porn-like activities that their partner doesn't enjoy.

 

 

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ryn2
39 minutes ago, uhtred said:

I see the dividing point as when someone turns down their partner for sex and instead consumes porn.    Another big issue is if they try to insist on porn-like activities that their partner doesn't enjoy.

 

 

Yep, that’s where we were.

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MrDane
On 6/20/2018 at 2:45 AM, Serran said:

If you had a willing, enthusiastic partner available whenever, would you ever choose porn over them?

Doesnt have to be ‘available whenever’, but No I would not feel a need for porn.

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)

I used to watch torture porn but even that doesn't do it for me now as it's hard (impossible) to find stuff that's graphic enough while still being arousing. I'm in a minority for sexuals anyway though as 'real people' don't really do it for me so I'm not that drawn to physically have sex with other people - a rather do it online or in my head (I feel a stronger emotional bond from sex like that than I ever have from in person sex because yes I'm weird lol).

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RK800
On 6/18/2018 at 9:17 PM, Sywei said:

If you are a sexual, how exactly do you view porn? Is it something as an object of desire or stimulus?

CW: talk of masturbation

Stimulus or to indulge my kinks. I very rarely watch porn, when I do it's fetish or masturbation porn. Also I don't ever masturbate to porn, I use it to get my motor running and then maybe do so afterwards.

 

On 6/19/2018 at 8:45 PM, Serran said:

If you had a willing, enthusiastic partner available whenever, would you ever choose porn over them?

Depends. If it's a partner I'm actually sexually attracted, like my current one,  I might choose them over just soloing it. It would depend on my mood and dysphoria level.

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Bezoyo
On 6/19/2018 at 10:59 AM, uhtred said:

Clearly inferior to sex with a real person if that is an option.

If i may add a little bit. I can only speak for myself, but porn is better then with someone i wouldn't have any romantic attraction, even if i had sexual attraction. Like a friend with benefit.

I guess it's the emotional investment that doesn't happen that make it kind of boring.

 

So, to answer, as well as others here, stimuli, to get the motor running,

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Spookchi Boonut

I’m heterosexual and I enjoy sex but I have never understood porn. Why the hell would I want to watch strangers I almost never find physically attractive having sex? That’s just gross and uncomfortable for me. The only way I would find that appealing were if I were sexually attracted to the participants and it was put on mute. (The sounds and scripts are one of the biggest turn offs to me.)

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anamikanon

Porn for erotic stimulus to masturbate. I enjoy seeing specific sexual acts that I'm interested in. Sex is inherently interpersonal for me, and the people in porn give that illusion of an erotic engagement. Now that I think of it, it may be a kind of mental pacifier substituting for the real thing, because I definitely tend to watch porn more when a relationship is doing poorly on the sexual front, even though I masturbate often when single too. I don't need porn, but I do enjoy it.

 

I don't watch porn at all unless I already intend to masturbate.

 

I have watched porn a few times with an ex-sexual partner and it was.... ok. Erotic as a one off thing. Not something I'd like to make a habit of.

 

No question of preferring it over a real person. Zero chance. When living with an actual sexual partner (as opposed to my current ace) with sex on tap, I don't even remember porn exists. 

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Salmiakki

I have watched A LOT of porn when I was like 9-12 years old. I kinda started watching it without knowing what I was signing up for. My friend who had just taught me and some other people what sex was suggested it and we just said yes without being sure what we said yes to. I obviously didn't understand anything about sexuality but apparently it did turn me on since I kept on watching it. After my puberty started I got more disinterested in it and eventually stopped watching, I didn't care about it for a few years I think, but then out of curiosity I started watching again, definitely not as much though. The last time I watched porn was in 2016, so yeah I don't watch it anymore. Even then I was already feeling like all it did was make me uncomfortable. I think it's disgusting and there's nothing appealing about watching some strangers have sex together. And it's so much better to fantasize about someone you're actually attracted to. 

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