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Porn and Demisexuality?


SweetTart

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On 6/28/2018 at 8:48 AM, Dawning said:

 

 

 

I am continuing reading about the Alexithymia. 

 

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On 6/27/2018 at 3:45 PM, Pramana said:

 

 

This is the opposite to me. 

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4 minutes ago, Marlow1 said:

I replied just minutes before you posted but I did not add a quote which might be why you missed it. It is the post just above your last post

 

I am continuing reading about the Alexithymia. I am struggling to make full sense of it within the context of my current thinking. Over time I might grasp a bit more

 

Have you heard of the GAPS Spectrum? This is a term used by Dr Campbell McBride to describe certain conditions that fall on the Autism Spectrum and some of the other conditions mentioned within the Alexithymia Article. I mention this because I am very familiar with GAPS

I did miss that you posted right before I did! You are right to think that alexithymia is essentially a negative thing; it refers to standard and useful abilities that are lacking, without any of the compensatory traits that typically come with autism, for example. Not everyone has all those negative characteristics, though; I, for example, am extremely creative and imaginative. 

 

I'm not familiar with GAPS. I have heard of diets in general that are recommended for people on the spectrum with digestive issues. Have you been on a special diet?

 

You sound like a very well-adjusted and overall happy individual. I wonder if not having a minds' eye is actually part of that?

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I'm a big believer in the power of diet, so if a certain diet makes people feel better, I say go for it! I'm glad that you have found something that works for you, and that goes double for your brother, who has experienced something truly amazing! What do you suppose would happen to us if we were suddenly able to have visual fantasies about sex?

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On 6/29/2018 at 9:08 AM, Dawning said:

I'm a big believer in the power of diet, 

So glad you are cool with the diet thing

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Celyn: The Lutening
2 hours ago, Marlow1 said:

Hallucinations are seen outside of the self inside the visual field, whereas minds eye stuff, I am told is always inside the head, apparently it is something like an eye at the back of the head watching a screen at the front

Wow, that's strange because I don't experience imagining/visualising stuff like "watching a screen" at all. For me, it's very dreamlike yet real, it's like the visualisation shuts off my eyes - so when I visualise stuff I have to be still or walking a very familiar route so I don't bump into stuff.

I would say that mine are hallucination-like, except that a hallucination by definition is believed to be real, and I know I'm imagining it.

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On 6/29/2018 at 12:10 PM, Celyn said:

Wow, that's strange 

 

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On 6/26/2018 at 5:33 PM, Marlow1 said:

Hi

 

I noticed that you said that you have never been a very visual person. This in itself can be a thing. I don't know if you have heard of Aphantasia (blind in the minds eye) but there are different levels to this. You might want to look at my profile, there you will find more information about this

 

In the meantime, this young lass explains a bit of how she experiences no attraction to porn etc. She is asexual and she says she does not get any images in her mind. Hope this helps

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t8FX6vZz-MM

I have never heard of this before. It actually would make a lot of sense. I mean I 'day dream' but not with images. Only words or a voice in my head. I've never really wondered why that is. Also when I'm asked to image say a person I know I just get words in my head like brunette, short, feminine. 

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5 hours ago, Dia Nicole said:

I have never heard of this before. It actually would make a lot of sense. I mean I 'day dream' but not with images. Only words or a voice in my head. I've never really wondered why that is. Also when I'm asked to image say a person I know I just get words in my head like brunette, short, feminine. 

This site includes the Aphantasia test.

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-34039054

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20 hours ago, Marlow1 said:

So glad you are cool with the diet thing, so many folk think we are lying when we explain about these things, but I know thousands of people that are on the GAPS spectrum that have seen improvements with these things that we are discussing here.

 

Regarding the the minds eye. In my case I have always been totally blind in my minds eye. I have visualised only a handful of things throughout my life and when I describe those experiences to my partner she says they sound like hallucinations. Hallucinations are very different to the minds eye. Hallucinations are seen outside of the self inside the visual field, whereas minds eye stuff, I am told is always inside the head, apparently it is something like an eye at the back of the head watching a screen at the front

 

Now, my brother, he always had vague images that were stronger or weaker at different times throughout his life. He discribed these as vague blobs. He would say I see a certain blob for my mom and a certain blob for my dad, but then also say most of the time though, I cannot summon up the blobs lol

 

My brother hated this. He was much more aware than I was that other people could actually see things and he went on a quest to get it sorted out

 

He spent years and years in Paychiatrist offices, and with other so called experts but all they told him was that he was lying or traumatised or something, he got nowhere, and in fact all the labelling made him feel dreadful

 

Me, I did not understand much of what was going on with my brother back then, I believed all people saw nothing, and those that said they did I thought they were either crazy or making it up. Common sense told me all of that had to be impossible lol

 

Anyway, long story short, I found out two years ago that the minds eye thing was real, and I was blown away!!!

 

Anyway, At that time both my brother and I were using the GAPS diet for health reasons when my brother heard of folk cranking the diet up to induce ketosis for many illnesses of the brain, and he decided to give it a go. It was not long, maybe just a couple of weeks or so when his minds eye switched on. And, boy we have not heard the end of it since then. He is the most elated person I know!!

 

But listen, the story does not end there. Ketosis can be hard to sustain and like other folk using the GAPS protocol my brother is using supplements too. It is not easy to do, not really easy, it takes effort, and he has to make sure he does not loose weight. But when I say it is not easy, it is not impossible, just takes learning and effort!!

 

Overtime he is balancing the whole thing really well and he is getting more images, but it is not consistent, he has to keep working at it

 

Me, I have rapid weight loss with ketosis, and I have never managed to do it long enough to get the images. And frankly because being blind in the minds eye does not bother me I do not have the motivation that my brother has

 

Now ironically (my brother is Demisexual too) he has recently split with his long term partner

 

I have not spoke to him much about this but my partner is proper sticking her nose in to see how he might get attracted to somebody else. I am sure she will not spare me the details, there is no way that I will be able to work out what is going on lol. I will keep you posted lol

It's become such a cynical world, that people would assume that others are lying to them with no compelling reason to believe that way. And it's outright shameful for shrinks to be accusing someone of lying for no reason! What happened to finally make you accept that the mind's eye is a real thing, was it your brother's amazing experiences? Someone should write an article about the 2 of you!

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I will talk to my brother about doing a proper blog together

 

 

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What a fascinating topic! It's wonderful to know that some people are being cured without a bunch of drugs. I hope your brother is keeping some sort of journal or record of his experiences!

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It sounds like you and your brother are each doing what is right for you, as it should be. If you do try the intense diet and your mind's eye turns on, let me know what that feels like!

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This definitely gives me hope that further treatments will be forthcoming in the future! I don't know if I'd want it all the time, but certainly having it part-time could be a lot of fun!

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2 hours ago, Dawning said:

This definitely gives me hope that further treatments will be forthcoming in the future! I don't know if I'd want it all the time, but certainly having it part-time could be a lot of fun!

Yes, I agree, very occasionally might be OK LOL

 

For a while I wondered if maybe I had Progpognosia (face blindness). This was before I realised it is actually Aphsntasia that I have. I went down the progpognosia path because I do struggle to recognise some people when they are out of context, and although my family can recognise folk that we have not seen in years I don't recognise folk so easily. 

 

I also realised that that I can't always remember a person in one solid block. For instance I have a memory of Elvis, that he has a handsome face and that he has his hair comb backwards and that he goes 'eh eh Erm' or something like that with his mouth but it is only his face that I can describe not his body re that particular memory

 

But I have another memory of him where he wears a white outfit with a big collar etc. 

 

My partner said Elvis looks a lot different in the white outfit than he does in the way that I have described him above. I cannot remember any other face for Elvis other than the one I recall (I can't see it obviously). We discussed this for some time and thrn my partner said can you get a concept where the face you describe belongs to the outfit and visa versa. I kind of can but it is a struggle. My mind wants to remember them seperate like it always has

 

We tested all this even further and it seems I have these seperate concepts for quit a lot of people

 

Anyway, both my partner and I thought this could be Progpognosia but after looking into this more we have decided it is not. We do think that this is simply part of my Aphantasia. But as we did study prospognosia we going out a few more things

 

One thing we discovered was a lot if folk that have Aphantasia do also have progpognosia. And we also found out that folk that have progpognosia, either with or without Aphantasia, often struggle to identify whom they are sexually attracted to

 

Further more a lot if folk on the Autism Spectrum also have Progpognoia

 

Anyway, to the point.....

 

An optition in Scotland has created glasses that can correct progpognosia. He says they help with Aspergers ADHD Autism etc too. It's a long shot and I have no evidence as of yet but I am wondering if these glasses might help with Aphantasia???? I am certainly keeping my ear to the ground!

 

 

 

and

 

https://www.scotsman.com/news/face-blind-sufferers-see-world-like-this-but-now-there-s-hope-1-1691604

 

Disclaimer: if anybody wants to find out about the glasses I have mentioned as dad as I know there is only this one optition in scotland prescribing them. Please contact him or your own GP if you want to know more. I do not have any connection with the company. There are a lot of links on the Internet explaining how these glasses work??

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On 6/21/2018 at 1:34 PM, Dawning said:

I found an interesting article that says:

 

"Demisexuals may have very active sexual fantasy lives—whether enjoying erotic stories, watching porn, or creating their own mental fantasies. The difference is that it’s not just the physical act of sex that turns them on, but the whole context of the person they imagine having sex with—there’s a major emotional component to these fantasies that give them an extra charge for the demixexual person."

 

https://bestlifeonline.com/demisexual/

This kinda sounds like me though

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Salted Karamel
On 6/23/2018 at 7:47 AM, Celyn said:

I find visual porn either unpleasant or boring. Written though, can be lovely if the romance is done right. As @Marlow1 and @Dawning's quote are saying, it's the emotional context, the love between the participants, that makes it nice. The sex itself is "Eh, whatever."

 

Sometimes when I read fanfiction that contains a sex scene (or multiple sex scenes) but a good relationship story I find myself cringing through the sex scenes like "oh god why, why this" even though I'm totally into the relationship dynamics between the two characters.

 

I suppose this would still be the case if I read original fic too, but fanfic is especially guilty of throwing in gratuitous sex scenes for the hell of it.

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13 hours ago, Marlow1 said:

Yes, I agree, very occasionally might be OK LOL

 

For a while I wondered if maybe I had Progpognosia (face blindness). This was before I realised it is actually Aphsntasia that I have. I went down the progpognosia path because I do struggle to recognise some people when they are out of context, and although my family can recognise folk that we have not seen in years I don't recognise folk so easily. 

 

I also realised that that I can't always remember a person in one solid block. For instance I have a memory of Elvis, that he has a handsome face and that he has his hair comb backwards and that he goes 'eh eh Erm' or something like that with his mouth but it is only his face that I can describe not his body re that particular memory

 

But I have another memory of him where he wears a white outfit with a big collar etc. 

 

My partner said Elvis looks a lot different in the white outfit than he does in the way that I have described him above. I cannot remember any other face for Elvis other than the one I recall (I can't see it obviously). We discussed this for some time and thrn my partner said can you get a concept where the face you describe belongs to the outfit and visa versa. I kind of can but it is a struggle. My mind wants to remember them seperate like it always has

 

We tested all this even further and it seems I have these seperate concepts for quit a lot of people

 

Anyway, both my partner and I thought this could be Progpognosia but after looking into this more we have decided it is not. We do think that this is simply part of my Aphantasia. But as we did study prospognosia we going out a few more things

 

One thing we discovered was a lot if folk that have Aphantasia do also have progpognosia. And we also found out that folk that have progpognosia, either with or without Aphantasia, often struggle to identify whom they are sexually attracted to

 

Further more a lot if folk on the Autism Spectrum also have Progpognoia

 

Anyway, to the point.....

 

An optition in Scotland has created glasses that can correct progpognosia. He says they help with Aspergers ADHD Autism etc too. It's a long shot and I have no evidence as of yet but I am wondering if these glasses might help with Aphantasia???? I am certainly keeping my ear to the ground!

 

and

 

https://www.scotsman.com/news/face-blind-sufferers-see-world-like-this-but-now-there-s-hope-1-1691604

 

Disclaimer: if anybody wants to find out about the glasses I have mentioned as dad as I know there is only this one optition in scotland prescribing them. Please contact him or your own GP if you want to know more. I do not have any connection with the company. There are a lot of links on the Internet explaining how these glasses work??

No one is prescribing those glasses anymore, they pulled his license:

 

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-43300723

 

 It's just fascinating how your brain works! Like many autistic people, I have poor facial recognition; if someone significantly changes their hair, I can have difficulty recognizing them, because I'm using that as a reference point. I have no doubt whatsoever that this affects attraction; that's why I identify as Endospectrum, because my autism powerfully saturates everything about me.

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5 hours ago, Dawning said:

No one is prescribing those glasses anymore, they pulled his license:

 

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-43300723

 

 It's just fascinating how your brain works! Like many autistic people, I have poor facial recognition; if someone significantly changes their hair, I can have difficulty recognizing them, because I'm using that as a reference point. I have no doubt whatsoever that this affects attraction; that's why I identify as Endospectrum, because my autism powerfully saturates everything about me.

Sadly, I have just found this article. It is saying the Optitian in Scotland has been struck off for making false claims. This is a bit confusing since there are a very lot of folk commenting that his claims are true, but with limited evidence it seems the authorities have taken action against him

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-43300723

 

After many hours using online tests I came to the conclusion that I do not have Progpognosia, just recall difficulties that a person that has Aphantasia most likely would get. But I think I have a kind of body blindness. Not that I cannot see peoples bodies, I can, but in the limited time that I have to look at a person, it seems I focus very much on the face to gather details and so rarely recall the body well. I might remember the outfit though, but even this I will forget over time if they do not wear it often

 

If you have Progpognosia, I suspect this what I am about to say might not work for you but it is a technique I taught my brother

 

He was saying that he can't remember people, even folk he knows quit well, that he struggles when he sees them out of context and such. When we compared what each of us were doing we realised that I look predominantly at the face where as he looks at the whole person. We also noticed when describing our experiences with each other that my brother was picking up more on the body language but I was picking up on facial expressions. Anyway, long story short, my recall was a lot better than my brothers

 

I told him that many years ago my partner had told me that a good way to remember people is at the very moment you look at them try to think of whom they remind you of, ie somebody on TV perhaps. She said the more you can associate a persons face with another person you know of, or even more than one person, this helps the mind to remember them. I have been doing this for many years and I suspect this is why my recall is better than my brothers recall

 

My recall overall is weaker than average but I have really looked into Progpognosia and in the true sense I do not think I have it. Most folk that have Progpognosia say all faces look much the same and that they find it difficult to determine is somebody is good looking and such. I definately do not have this problem, at the time of looking, I can very much say how aesthetically attractive I find a face etc, but like I have mentioned, I won't automatically look at the body and when recounting what I sawthe details are limited but a fair amount of the time I will recognise them when I see them again. And like I mentioned in my other post if I have seen the person at different times, I might even recall a persons attributes seperately and only actually being them together when this is point out. And even then I might struggle or forget

 

Besides my own body the only other body I really have much knowledge of is my partners. I can't see it Lol, well not right now I can't, she is not here. But because I am so familiar with it (I can't  relive it like folk with a minds eye can) but I very much know it. And since it is pretty much the only body I know, it is my ideal body too. If this makes sense. It is the same with her face. When I see her face I often melt inside and no other face can do this. And this is what I want, and Aphantasia has given me this, and this is in part why I do not really persue a treatment, I tend to look at how I can improve my experience whilst I still have Aphantasia, if that makes sense

 

Edit: My partner has just pointed out that I have posted the same link as you did. Sorry I missed that. I don't know why. My fuzzy brain I guess. It is sad that they have gone, my brother and I have discussed traveling to Scotland to see about this. Oh well, onwards and upwards

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If I do consume video porn (which I rarely do) I prefer the close up kind where you can’t really see their faces. I’m not attracted to the people, so I don’t really want to watch them have sex. I just want to see the sex.

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On July 4, 2018 at 1:45 AM, Marlow1 said:

Sadly, I have just found this article. It is saying the Optitian in Scotland has been struck off for making false claims. This is a bit confusing since there are a very lot of folk commenting that his claims are true, but with limited evidence it seems the authorities have taken action against him

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-43300723

 

After many hours using online tests I came to the conclusion that I do not have Progpognosia, just recall difficulties that a person that has Aphantasia most likely would get. But I think I have a kind of body blindness. Not that I cannot see peoples bodies, I can, but in the limited time that I have to look at a person, it seems I focus very much on the face to gather details and so rarely recall the body well. I might remember the outfit though, but even this I will forget over time if they do not wear it often

 

If you have Progpognosia, I suspect this what I am about to say might not work for you but it is a technique I taught my brother

 

He was saying that he can't remember people, even folk he knows quit well, that he struggles when he sees them out of context and such. When we compared what each of us were doing we realised that I look predominantly at the face where as he looks at the whole person. We also noticed when describing our experiences with each other that my brother was picking up more on the body language but I was picking up on facial expressions. Anyway, long story short, my recall was a lot better than my brothers

 

I told him that many years ago my partner had told me that a good way to remember people is at the very moment you look at them try to think of whom they remind you of, ie somebody on TV perhaps. She said the more you can associate a persons face with another person you know of, or even more than one person, this helps the mind to remember them. I have been doing this for many years and I suspect this is why my recall is better than my brothers recall

 

My recall overall is weaker than average but I have really looked into Progpognosia and in the true sense I do not think I have it. Most folk that have Progpognosia say all faces look much the same and that they find it difficult to determine is somebody is good looking and such. I definately do not have this problem, at the time of looking, I can very much say how aesthetically attractive I find a face etc, but like I have mentioned, I won't automatically look at the body and when recounting what I sawthe details are limited but a fair amount of the time I will recognise them when I see them again. And like I mentioned in my other post if I have seen the person at different times, I might even recall a persons attributes seperately and only actually being them together when this is point out. And even then I might struggle or forget

 

Besides my own body the only other body I really have much knowledge of is my partners. I can't see it Lol, well not right now I can't, she is not here. But because I am so familiar with it (I can't  relive it like folk with a minds eye can) but I very much know it. And since it is pretty much the only body I know, it is my ideal body too. If this makes sense. It is the same with her face. When I see her face I often melt inside and no other face can do this. And this is what I want, and Aphantasia has given me this, and this is in part why I do not really persue a treatment, I tend to look at how I can improve my experience whilst I still have Aphantasia, if that makes sense

 

Edit: My partner has just pointed out that I have posted the same link as you did. Sorry I missed that. I don't know why. My fuzzy brain I guess. It is sad that they have gone, my brother and I have discussed traveling to Scotland to see about this. Oh well, onwards and upwards

I can't remember anybody's face well enough to know if it looks like somebody else's face, and if I did, I would just get the people confused with each other, LOL! However, I'm going to start doing image streaming, and see if I can learn to see real images!

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22 hours ago, Dawning said:

I can't remember anybody's face well enough to know if it looks like somebody else's face, and if I did, I would just get the people confused with each other, LOL! However, I'm going to start doing image streaming, and see if I can learn to see real images!

My brother is using the image streaming. He finds it works best when he is walking. He goes out walking by the canal  in the evening and speaks outloud to himself, his images are improving but still no voice in his head

 

My partner was trying to help me for a whole with this but she said I was not putting enough effort in and gave up. I know what she means. I don't mind doing the diet and supplements to keep my brain strong but I lack motivation to try to cure the Aphantasia. I  so used to not seeing things. My brother really does not like being blind in his minds eye, he is so much more into sorting it than I am

 

For a time I thought that maybe I don't dream, or at minimum I don't see or hear anything. My partner keeps watching me when I  asleep and waking me up when I speak or move about a lot. If she thinks I am dreaming she nudges me and says what can you see, what can you hear? I have given answers that imply some dreaming but only a day or so later I can't really remember it

 

Two days ago I said to my partner, why did you get up in the middle of the night? She said I did not get up. I said you did, she said , I did not, and repeated over and over that she did not. I am wondering if I dreamed that. I am sure I looked in the bed and that she was not there but she said she was there. We will continue to observe my sleep. I just want to know if I dream in pictures or if I actually hear anything

 

My partner is by my side right now. She is asking me to try the image streaming again, I will do. Please let me know how you get on with it

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thegadaboutbard

So...for me and porn...when I watch it, a lot of the times it's out of pure fascination, but it doesn't turn me on.  There might be the exceptional video or two, but that's only when I'm in a major self-pleasing mood.  l definitely prefer hand drawn porn (be it in drawings or games) and definitely like to read smut in books.  But the act of watching it is usually just to figure out how something works (particularly if I'm drawn to a new kink).  

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