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Questioning being on the aro spectrum?


Saltyapricots

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Saltyapricots

I’ve questioned whether I’m on the aro spec for a few months. Whenever a boy tries to initiate a romantic relationship I always end up backing out and going back to a good old friendship. And I’m not sure if it’s cause I’m scared to form a relationship or if there’s something else. I don’t really ever feel the need to build something romantic or sexual (well I kinda do just for the experience. I feel like I’m missing out compared to all of my friends). And I think all of my “crushes” have been squishes now that I think about it because I’ve never felt butterflies or a need to cuddle them or whatever. I just want them to like me and to talk to me. It’s more like I’m curious about them. I want to try to date someone properly just so I can know but I also don’t want to put someone through that, you know just being my experiment. Especially if I end up just wanting to be friends in the middle of forming something. But the thing that makes me really question myself is that I actually do want to be able to date and get married etc. Tbh there is a chance that I haven’t quite found the “right one” but should it really be that hard to find someone you want to date, especially at 16? This whole post is kinda a mess but advice or ideas/comments would be appreciated.

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Be honest

dont promise more than you are willing to try to keep

it is okay to be you

going on a “date” can be done in various ways. To many, of us romantic sexuals, it is a good, nonverbal sign of appreciation if it ends in physical contact of some sort. If you dont like that, then it could be a good idea to say “it was really nice being with you, and I hope we can see eachother again. Kissing and hugging is not a thing for me, but it has nothing to do with you. I would feel like that with anybody”

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Moved from Questions about Asexuality to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations.

 

TheAP

Questions about Asexuality co-mod

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When I was your age, I had never been on a single date, so don't feel too bad. When you feel confused, uncertain, and maybe a little bit frightened about what a relationship would entail, it's kind of hard to make a rational decision about who you actually are inside. There is no law that requires you to have it all figured out at 16; that's fortunate, because I'm probably older than your parents, and I'm just now getting things sorted out. If you choose a term that describes how you feel now, you're not required to keep it for the rest of your life if it stops fitting, and you don't have to choose any terms or labels at all right now if you don't want to. It seems like you feel like you don't know for sure one way or the other, so maybe you could just refer to yourself as questioning for right now?

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