Is this line of thought normal?

[Flump222]

So, I've just been wondering about this, and I wanted to ask about it here. I consider myself heteroromantic ace kinda sorta (though I may just be straight. I'm still questioning) though sometimes I do have strange thoughts about guys. Sometimes I have fantasies about guys, and may enjoy them more than ones with girls (though this was sort of a recent development and I know fantasies don't always play a role in orientation). I also don't have any real problem picturing myself in a relationship with a guy. Heck, I say that I'd date a guy if I liked one, but I don't. Are these just normal feelings?

 

[Guest]

Nothing wrong with questioning your sexual orientation. 

 

I consider myself to be ace, yet I find myself sometimes having fantasies about being in a relationship with another person (any gender). This sort of thing used to bother me, as I was mistakenly under the impression that asexual people NEVER have these kinds of thoughts (turns out that's not quite true, at least not for every asexual person). This was part of the reason why it took me so long to figure out my asexual orientation. Now these types of fantasies don't bother me. 

 

These sound like normal feelings to me. 😊

[HeartOfTheCards33]

Yeah, I'd say they're normal. People change as they grow and experience life, so it's only natural that your orientation may grow and change with you. Don't fight it- just let it flow and explore yourself and possibly other relationships with other people. ^^

[KendraPM]

A lot of people use the term "flexible" when they haven't actually been attracted to a specific person of a gender but could picture themselves with someone of that gender if the occasion arose, or if the attraction is rare enough they don't exactly consider it to be a part of their identity. I have a friend who's a lesbian but who had been dating a man for five years when I met her. She always knew she was a lesbian since she was very young, identified very strongly with the label, and would stand very firm on her identity to anyone who tried to suggest she was really bi. Even while dating her now ex-boyfriend, she said that she was gay. Sometimes she'd call herself a flexible lesbian or homoflexible. Her attraction to men happened so rarely, so infrequently, that she did not consider it part of her orientation.

Also, attraction isn't always 100% in either direction and bi attraction isn't always 50/50. I consider myself biromantic, but my romantic attraction is split roughly 85% men and 15% woman. Fantasy isn't always an indication of orientation, but both ideas are something to keep in mind.