Flump222

Tests for sexual attraction?

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Flump222

So, I was wondering if there were any sort of ways that I could test myself to see if I experience sexual attraction. I'm still in my questioning phase, and when I ask myself if I have ever felt sexual attraction or a similar question, my answers range from "maybe" to "I don't know". I'm not too confident in my assertions so my thoughts tend to flip flop a lot. Anyway, what I'm looking for is something for me to do so that I can observe my thoughts and feelings on the matter right then and there. What sort of ways can I do this, and what sort of reaction on my part would indicate sexual attraction?

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Lichley

You can usually tell if it is sexual attraction. Apparently it gets rather warm and tingly down there, and you get desires towards a specific person. 

Sketchcomic - types of Attraction

 

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gisiebob
1 hour ago, Flump222 said:

"maybe" to "I don't know".

these seem like good answers. this is one of those awful 'the journey is more important than the destination' sorts of things. the only authority here is you.

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Flump222
1 hour ago, Lichley said:

You can usually tell if it is sexual attraction. Apparently it gets rather warm and tingly down there, and you get desires towards a specific person. 

Sketchcomic - types of Attraction

 

Would there be any way for me to do or view something where one would be expected to feel sexual attraction if they were allosexual? (And sorry if this is a stupid question).

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iam135
2 hours ago, Flump222 said:

Would there be any way for me to do or view something where one would be expected to feel sexual attraction if they were allosexual? (And sorry if this is a stupid question).

I've wondered the same thing myself sometimes, so it's not a stupid question (or it is and we're both stupid, one of the two 😁).

 

I don't think there's any formal test for sexual attraction that I know of, if that's what you're thinking of - probably because it's pretty darn widespread outside of the ace community. That being said, when I first started looking into asexuality I definitely went through a phase where I'd see someone who looked aesthetically attractive and stop to consciously ask myself whether or not I'd want to have a sexual and/or romantic relationship with them. And every time I ended up with the same response of "no" - regardless of how they looked, how well I knew them, or how nice they seemed to be. That's the only "test" I could think of where someone could try and fabricate sexual (or romantic) attraction, since that seems to be how those attractions work for non-asexual/aromantic people. And honestly, I have no idea how effective that "test" is, since it only generated one response for me 😅.

 

That being said, I'd say if you're looking back at your experiences and don't feel like you've ever felt sexual attraction, that's a probably a pretty good indicator in and of itself.

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Flump222
58 minutes ago, iam135 said:

I've wondered the same thing myself sometimes, so it's not a stupid question (or it is and we're both stupid, one of the two 😁).

 

I don't think there's any formal test for sexual attraction that I know of, if that's what you're thinking of - probably because it's pretty darn widespread outside of the ace community. That being said, when I first started looking into asexuality I definitely went through a phase where I'd see someone who looked aesthetically attractive and stop to consciously ask myself whether or not I'd want to have a sexual and/or romantic relationship with them. And every time I ended up with the same response of "no" - regardless of how they looked, how well I knew them, or how nice they seemed to be. That's the only "test" I could think of where someone could try and fabricate sexual (or romantic) attraction, since that seems to be how those attractions work for non-asexual/aromantic people. And honestly, I have no idea how effective that "test" is, since it only generated one response for me 😅.

 

That being said, I'd say if you're looking back at your experiences and don't feel like you've ever felt sexual attraction, that's a probably a pretty good indicator in and of itself.

Ah, okay. I wasn't really looking for formal tests (though I wished they existed), rather just stuff I could do, like what you mentioned. I have asked myself that same thing though, but when I do I can never give myself a straight answer.

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Nowhere Girl

So why don't you just identify as ace, or "probably ace", instead of splitting hairs and wondering whether you haven't felt any sexual attraction for a while? If you have to think so hard about it, you probably don't experience it.

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Galactic Turtle

If you'd rather sex not be on your life agenda and haven't wanted to have sex with anyone that's a pretty good indicator. I think people overthink "sexual attraction."

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Sywei

If complex leads to more complexity, try something simple.

 

Do you see any guy or woman and think/feel of mixing genitals with them?

 

If yes: sexual attraction

If no: not sexual attraction 

 

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Flump222
45 minutes ago, Sywei said:

If complex leads to more complexity, try something simple.

 

Do you see any guy or woman and think/feel of mixing genitals with them?

 

If yes: sexual attraction

If no: not sexual attraction 

 

But that's my problem. What if one answers, "maybe", "I don't know", or can't even get any sort of clear answer?

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knittinghistorian
6 minutes ago, Flump222 said:

But that's my problem. What if one answers, "maybe", "I don't know", or can't even get any sort of clear answer?

It may be that the answer you're giving yourself is *shrug* "meh."  In that case, I would just go with "no sexual attraction, or little enough that it's the simplest option to go with".

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TheAP

You don't have to be completely sure to identify as asexual. If you feel you're not interested in sex right now, you can call yourself asexual. But you also don't have to figure out what you are right now. There's still time, and it's okay not to label yourself.

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Philip027
20 minutes ago, Flump222 said:

But that's my problem. What if one answers, "maybe", "I don't know", or can't even get any sort of clear answer?

If there's any part of you that would respond with a yes, then it's pretty clear that you do experience it.  Doesn't necessarily mean that you have to do anything about it, but it's there.

 

If you didn't experience this sort of thing at all, it would be pretty clear.

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Serran
1 hour ago, Sywei said:

If complex leads to more complexity, try something simple.

 

Do you see any guy or woman and think/feel of mixing genitals with them?

 

If yes: sexual attraction

If no: not sexual attraction 

 

Uhm. I would say no to that and I am not ace. 😛

 

 

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Sywei
1 hour ago, Flump222 said:

But that's my problem. What if one answers, "maybe", "I don't know", or can't even get any sort of clear answer?

Well, the thing is this, reactions vary from person to person, situation to situation, time to time or even a mix of all of the above. Trying to analyze a reaction at x-point might be confusing when you look at the same situation at y-point.

 

If you get any sort of reaction, the best answer anyone can give to you is you yourself as you are the best witness.

 

 

57 minutes ago, Serran said:

Uhm. I would say no to that and I am not ace. 😛

 

 

Well, that's you then :p

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Flump222
3 hours ago, Philip027 said:

If there's any part of you that would respond with a yes, then it's pretty clear that you do experience it.  Doesn't necessarily mean that you have to do anything about it, but it's there.

 

If you didn't experience this sort of thing at all, it would be pretty clear.

So you're saying that uncertainty in your answer would indicate that you do experience it? I've only heard the opposite.

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Janus DarkFox

It is often untestable, though a self-reflection of thoughts, reactions and sef-observation, over time and often within a relationship.  Naturally things are going to be different day to day, often when one may observe a little too closely and too much.

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