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Hello / quite confuzzled!


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Hey there, a straight female (29) new to this forum, and quite confused.

 

This may be super uncommon here I'm guessing, but I actually am not repulsed by sex itself.  It's the sexual acts that legitimately repulse me - bj's for example (and being the worst for me). I genuinely think genitalia is off-putting, and I don't want my face anywhere near there - nor anyone else's on my own. I get extreme anxiety even at the thought of performing a sexual act like a bj, and I know probably how crazy it sounds to some people, but I cannot help what I feel. 

 

Also, I do not masturbate. I have tried, only because friends I had used to say 'you have to, it's not healthy to not do it' - but to no avail. It doesn't do anything for me whatsoever. I just don't get any urges to go masturbate, ever. I also don't watch porn, and do find it extremely unrealistic and rather gross. 

 

^ With those mentioned, I feel like it makes no sense that I don't mind sex in the throws of passion (consensual sex) with someone that I love, and only that way. I just find sex 'okay', but honestly don't care if it comes about or doesn't. I am able to go years without it, and don't even think about it. 

 

I care much more about a deep emotional connection with someone, whom is my best friend but of the opposite sex. I do find I need affection such as kissing/making out, hugging, cuddling - those all make me very happy and loved, and I enjoy giving and receiving those forms as I find them to be much more meaningful than sex.

 

Wondering maybe what areas I would fall into to be help understand myself? Thanks in advance! 

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